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Hey guys,
I'm feeling a little down, and needs some help and understanding, expectually experinces.
Our marriage is not so good. And we have leaned to a point where a divorce might be the final decision.
I'm scared, stressed, overwhelmed and worried... Marriage cousnleing doesn't help....
Divorce is no fun..been there done that after being married for 16 years. Its tough on every one involved. Even tho I was the one who initiated the divorce and am very happily married now for almost 6 years, it really took a tole on my whole family. My parents stated "It felt like a death in the family" because they loved my ex. Holidays are not the same..Kids have to go here and there...we can't hardly all be at the same place at the same time. And altho no one broke up our marriage...I remarried less than a year later, so all were convinced Brad broke our marriage up..(my hubby now) and to this day I am sure they all still do, so there is some resentment towards him, too. He has always felt like an outsider.
Probably more info than you wanted..but just giving my experience.
I hope the best for you...
Divorce is very difficult. You have to be able to walk away and know that there is nothing left. If there are still emotional issues you need to work thru them first, otherwise you will be haunted for the rest of your life wondering if it was the right thing to do. When I requested and got the divorce I had absolutely no feeling whatsoever left for my first husband. I have no regrets and am happily remarried for almost 4 years now and life is great.
Best of luck to you, however you decide to go. Take care of yourself, this sort of stress is very hard on a body.
I know what you are going through. I divorced my husband after six years.
Divorce is never easy and I would have to say, I went through one of the worse. My lawyer, kiddingly tells me I paid for his new car and they named the new wing of the office after me, I invested that much into getting out of my marriage. :eek:
But I have to say after almost 4 years of court battles, losing every penny I had and then some and going through a major depression for a time, I'm very happy I did it. I found me again and in time a new love, new life. It is a battle and you have to be aware that some more bad times might be coming, but if you can see/know that in the long run, your future will be better, you go through it. It's the long term future, that I looked too. I needed to find that old me again, that people told me was lost.
When my life got to the point that I was just going through the days, empty inside, nothing to look forward to and a husband that I can't even talk to any more, you ask yourself is this what I want. Do I want, one day, at 70/80, to look back and say what a lonely wasted life, I had. When I realized that if I divided up my time with him % wise, more then 70% of it I was unhappy, 20% just OK and 10% happy, I knew it was time to leave the marriage. No one's life can be 100% happy, but when the marjory of it, is unhappiness, it not fair for both parties to stay in it. If it can't be repaired, like ours, then it becomes a matter of deciding, can I live the rest of my life like this? or Can I start over and rebuild a happier future for me? and is that future worth the rough road I might have to take to get there?
You have some hard thinking to do, it sounds like and I know how hard that is going to be. What ever road you take, decided it for yourself, not by any of our stories or your friends stories of divorce. Only you know, what you can and can not live with and what hopes you have for the future. It does help to find someone to talk it out with, but only someone that can see all sides, not someone that might lead you one way, their way.
I wish I could be of more help for you, I so know what you are going through, it took me over a year to get up the courage to ask for a divorce, it is one of the hardest decisions you will have to make. I wish you all the best, what ever road you take.
wow, all that speaks a lot of word and experinces. The only problem is, I do love my hubby, but there are times where he is just a pain in the ass. The choices he makes is not even right for me.
I have delt with that for as along as I have been with him for 3 yrs... I found out he was using drugs, 8 months after my 21st birthday. And now Im worried about Tazsie's safety.
I hve given him MANY chances, as we women do because we love our hubby, right?
So the first step we are doing is spliting up, Im going to Salt Lake City, UT to spend the month with my mom. Yes Taz is going with us. But our furry pets stay, because my mom doesn't accept them there due to her small condo...
So hopefully that will give him a chance shape up one last time. If no Job or receiving any money, then its the end for him, His loss.
Cause I have done alot for him, and I dont get much in return...
Accord