Can I vent?

Sorry, this is going to be a whiney post so you can feel free to ignore it.

I've been feeling very stressed out lately. Things keep building up and building up and the other night I just snapped. I won't get into it here, but it wasn't pretty. I know I worry my dad an awful lot too -sigh- He thinks he makes me sad or something. Sometimes he says stuff that does, but I know he's just trying ot help me.

Anyway. I have finals this week then school is done and over with. My problem is, I'm so stressed out I can't concentrate AT ALL. I haven't studied YET. I'm going to fail. I've never failed like ever, so of course it worries me. I'm starting to just not care, as I don't plan on going to university again for a while anyway.

Plus, I need a new job. I feel that I'm not capible of doing anything so I wonder what jobs there are for me. No one would hire me anyway -sigh- I know, I know, I shouldn't be so negative and I'm sorry cause I know it;s annoying. I really need money and I'm super broke right now. I have Zeke's flyball, crate, obedience, Josie's training, plus I wanna go to ohio next year. I don't have a job rightnow which gives me like any hours so I have all this stuff I can't pay for. Dad told me before he wouldn't pay for it, but he sees I'm so upset I guess so he said he'd pay for it. But it feels like Oh I'm sad so give me everything for free. I hate it. I don't want to be someone who uses depression as an excuse. Not that I am, but you never know, maybe I could...

Then there is friends. A couple of my friends moved out from their parents and pretty much don't talk to me anymore. My best friend blogs about all the fun she has with her friends and here I am not even thought about. I really only have 1 friend I talked to a lot so I'm pretty lonely and just stay in my room all day long. I know that's no way to meet anyone so I can't complain, but it's very hard for me to meet people...

This is getting long and pointless, so I'll try to cut it out. To top everything off, last night my sister had some major issues and she came over in the middle of the night,crying , and beat up. I've never seen anyone so upset before, and naturally, I got very upset seeing my sister like that.

I feel horrible. I'm tired ALL the time, I get little sleep. I sware, if I didn't have my pets I couldn't continue on like this (I know, I'm so weak. I could have it so much worse) I call Josie my Guardian Angel, it seems fitting to me as stupid as it sounds. She lays with me when I'm sad and protects me and makes me smile.

Anyway, I'm finished. Sorry for being a whiney baby

(btw, I am seeing someone, and I am on meds)

Ok Audrey, first, deep breaths! You will be just fine. I know sometimes it seems that the world is crumbling, but try to keep your head up and find the positive.

I'm a highly stressed, emotional person filled with anxiety. I often get to a point where I feel like the world is out to get me. I have to just stop and collect myself though. It is really hard to turn your mental negative feelings to positive ones, but it is possible. First I usually do something relaxing like take a bubble bath, lay in bed with my cats or walk outside with my dogs. I recently learned that yoga REALLY helps me calm down. I can't do it very well, but even if I just pop in the DVD and lay on the floor and listen to the yoga lady's voice, I get much more relaxed.

I'm sure you will find a job. It doesn't have to be anything big and important, just find something that you enjoy and that makes you want to get out of bed in the morning. Maybe something animal or photography/art related? Start looking now and I'm sure you will find something that fits you. I don't know if your newspaper has online classifieds, but you can try checking there (there are usually good search functions to help you narrow down the jobs).

I'm sorry about your sister and your friend situation. I used to feel like I was losing my friends a lot until I realized that I need to put forth the same effort that I expect from them. Maybe you could just give your best friend a call and see how she is and ask if she wants to do anything. Maybe you've already done that though.

Just seek out the positive, try to stay mentally healthy, and take one thing at a time. And don't feel like you're weird or abnormal to be feeling all those feelings. Everyone goes through it at some point. And remember what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger :) As sucky as it is now, when you get out of the funk, you'll work hard and try not to ever get back to that place again where you just didn't feel well.

Vent all you want, Audrey. We are here for you. Aly has really given you some great advice. I don't know if I can add much to that. I know when you are down that things can seem so bad but things always turn around so just hang in there.

I wish I had some great words of wisdom to make you feel better. I just want you to know that if you want to talk you can always pm me. I'm here for ya.

Now do like Aly said and take some deep breaths!

Hugs....Robin

Audrey,
Firstly, never feel bad for venting. If we weren't able to vent once in a while we'd all boil over and over.

Something that always makes me feel relaxed afterwards is taking a nice long walk with the dogs. Not only does it make them happy, but it gives me a lot of time to think about things.
Maybe you could try that?

I know exactly how you feel about Jo. My dogs are angels to me and without them i'm not sure how life could be. Jo sounds so special as i'm sure she is.

{{HUGS}} I'm sorry you're feeling so down and hope things get better.. and usually they do. :)

p.s. Ki wanted me to take this for you..

Thank you for listening to me. I do enjoy walks, it calms me down a lot. I just got back from taking Zeke. Usually I go with just the dogs for a long walk when I need to think, but lately I can't get myself to do anything. I just want to sleep.

Kay, thank Ki for the adorable picture <3333 her. Give her a BIG kiss and hug from me:)