Now I Really Love My Job (joke)
I really wouldn't want to be this guy.
I LOVE MY JOB"
This is even funnier when you realize it's real! The next
time you have a bad day at work... think of this guy.
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in
Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore
drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister.
She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft.
Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience
contest.
Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sue:
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been
feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my
dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after
all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first
must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I
wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of
year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is
this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater.
This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the
sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps
it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped
to the air hose.
Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it
several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to
the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it
down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with
warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt
started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only
made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to
burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage
was done. In agony I realized what had happened The hot
water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into
my suit.
Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish
couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not
as fortunate.
When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually
grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the
communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact
that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing
hysterically.
Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to
make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling
thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to
begin my chamber dry decompression.
When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my
brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with
tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of
cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in
the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't
poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about
how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up
your butt.
Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I
love my job"
