The Exxon Valdez Story

I have to tell this story.

It's a horror story when you live thru it, but, it's pretty funny in retrospect-

To make the long story, longer......

I had a falling out with a room mate.....I was dating her sister, and we broke up so, I had to find a place to live...

I had just picked up a black and white Lhasa, Jessie, that was the cutest little turd on the planet. She was smart and charming and love me as much as I loved her. We needed a place to stay!

I found a house, that was due for demolition in a year (IMPORTANT STORY POINT) I had to find us a place to stay until I got myself back on my feet.

--------------------------------------------------------

I owned a motorcycle for transportation and had all the common problems that go along with riding year round. One thing about
the wind is that it takes all the moisture out of your skin.

So you try things that will help your skin out.....lotions and salves....not one for feeling greasy and smelling flowery-I picked up a giant jar of Vaseline to use.. A small dab on my hands and face kept me soft and young looking.......:rolleyes:

(Only surgery can help UGLY......I didn't have enough money for THAT!!)

I'd play with the dog and then sit down and apply the stuff to my
dry skin......I kept the jar on the telephone stand next to the couch in the front room-So, I could flip on the TV and catch up on the phone messages.


Well,

One day I walked into the house, saw that the dog's face was kinda greasy and slicked back, I looked past Jessie and to my horror, saw the OPEN JAR OF VASELINE ON THE FLOOR WITH HALF OF IT GONE!

My heart dropped....She didn't seem to be in any distress...Except for the greasy face I thought to myself that she would poop the Vaseline out....I called the vet and he explained that I'd have a 'Well Lubed" dog for a while..............
:confused:

Thank you doctor of all animals, great and small!!

I washed her up and tried to get the grease off her face.


I did keep a close eye on her and she seemed not to be in any great distress so I went to work.....


When I got home that night, She met me at the door and when I moved to the dining area the smell hit me....I couldn't see anything on the BROWN RUG....until a closer inspection and my nose led me to the puddles of brown, stinky Vaseline on the carpet under the table.....Jess was house broken and would NEVER make a mess in the house....NOT UNTIL TODAY...

Remember, the house was scheduled to be torn down, so THAT was a relief......The landlords were friends of mine and had given me carte blanche-I really didn't have to worry about anything that was damaged in the house!!!!

But, I now knew what "well lubed" meant...

Jessie???

Back to the bath tub.....

One thing that cured my desire to have kids was the few days I spent, working my way thru brown, slicked up fur on the backside of a Black and White Lhasa Apso.

I guess having pets prepares you, or steers you clear, of having your own skinkids......:eek: :o ;)

After a few days the "Exxon Valdez" got back to normal and the stains remained in the carpet.........until the bulldozer came and took the house down...

I really enjoyed the 10 months I spent in that place....

I learned some valuable lesson at that point in my life....

Don't feed the dog any petrochemical ingredients, have a good stain remover on hand, rent a house with brown carpets and
and get a SHORT HAIRED, BROWN DOG next time!!

BTW,

I still have that jar of Vaseline YEARS later....It sits on my shelves-
WHY? How much Vaseline can a man use in a lifetime? Get your heads out of the gutter-that and the fact that when I look at it
I remember that week of horror that we both went thru.....and I laugh!

;)

:D :D :D :D Thanks for the much needed laugh of the day....

One of the mandates of our HR dept is get us all working together "like a well-oiled machine" :rolleyes: ....it doesn't seem to be working so may I should suggest a jar of the finest...

There you go again RICHARD!! You think like my brother and tell a story just as good, if not better... LOVE YA!

Now that was a a great way to start my morning..reading your story....that was hysterical!

Nice tid bit...
when it comes to car repairs... I wish I had that jar... the bill would go up with out the pain.
LOL:eek: :D