Do Some Cats Not Want Petting???

I'm trying to get our Meka to act better and have realized I have spoiled her rotten! :) :) The squirt gun is back out. For the last few weeks she got worse and worse in doing things she knows we don't like (I think she is wanting attention) and instead of the squirt gun I'd just pick her up and move her or get a toy and bribe her down from the counters - this probably made her think I'd pick her up or play if she did something bad..... So I'm trying to change. NOW. Should I wait till she wants to be petted? I really think she likes to rub against us and be right next to us but she doesn't want to be in my lap or get petted. IF she getts on the couch with us it is at our feet - usually she perfers to be on the floor or on the top of the couch. If she walks in front of me on the couch to get to hubby's couch I put my hand out and pet her back as she goes by but she bends her back trying to avoid it. I'm thinking I should just not try to pet her until she nudges my hand - letting her come to me.... If she ever will.... What do you guys think??? Background on her is I've had her around 6 weeks and she is about 2 years old and from the local animal control. She was wild when they trapped her. Thanks, Debbie

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Background on her is I've had her around 6 weeks and she is about 2 years old and from the local animal control. She was wild when they trapped her.

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It's going to take some time for her to be used to humans and interactions. She'll let you know when it's time for lovings etc.
She needs to know boundries and rules keep using the squirt bottle/gun. Also, show her affection. Hugs, kisses etc.

My mom's Fu Cat (So named for her initials F. U.) is a white manx. I found her at a mini-golf place - when I hit the ball in the bushes, she wandered out and was immediately friendly (obviously someone threw her out :mad: ). They've had her for 3 years now and she's tolerates the other cats, but she doesn't like to be petted -- she growls and runs off, with 2 exceptions.

1. Small Kids like my 4 year old stepson can pet her anytime. ;)

2. The bathroom. Try to wash your hands, brush your teeth, take a bath or go potty, and she is there wanting love scritches and rubbins....:rolleyes:

..........Bizzare............:D

My parents cat is named Scarlett after Scarlett O'Hara and there has never been a more perfectly named animal. She was adopted as a kitten (about 6 weeks old) from a pet store and has lived with them for eight years. If you go to pet her, she will dip her back so you can't touch her! She lives outside and eats inside, though. After she's through eating, sometimes she'll come and lay beside my mom and allow herself to be pet but normally, she doesn't like it at all.

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Originally posted by hdeneise


1. Small Kids like my 4 year old stepson can pet her anytime. ;)

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My cat, Weezie, loves to be petted by me and my husband but growls and scratches at everyone else. However, one time, I was letting her play outside and a little girl came over to pet her. Before I could stop her, the girl was petting Weezie on the head. I thought Weezie would growl and scratch like she does with most strangers but she loved it. Turns out, she loves all little kids and even lets them pet her tummy.

Sophie was irritable about being petted for a long time. She used to bite, bite, bite at any hand that came near her. Now, she has certain times of the day (first thing in the morning, after eating, and after a nap) when she loooves being petted. But, if she isn't in the mood, she'll let you know. We've gotten her to stop biting though (except small love nips :D ). Oh, and she won't let anyone else except me and her daaaaaaaddy per her. She looooves her daddy. :rolleyes: :D

Good luck with your kitty! :)

Allen is not the most affectionate cat, but he wants to be loved... make no doubt about that. And he tells you LOUDLY when he wants loving. But it took a looong time to get him to that point. It used to be that you could never pet him,and he HATED being picked up or held. He changed considerably when we got Pouncer... have you given any thought to a second cat as a buddy for her? Cats often do better with another cat in the house and it certainly made Allen a much more affectionate cat.

I have thought about another cat for her which would also give her someone to play with - she could play 24/7 but she getts overly excited doing it. And this from a cat that would NOT play at all for the first few days to a week...... BUT hubby said "no way". Not only about just having another cat but he thinks she likes having the house and us to herself. We travel a lot and have to stay in an RV on land over some weekend and she travels ok - two I'm not sure about... So do you guys think I should force pet her or just let her alone? If I stay away will she come to me??? Debbie

I think she'll have to be retrained to A) not go on the counters by hearing you say "NO" sternly or shaking the water bottle and B) how to interact with you in a playful setting.

You'll have to treat her like a scared kitten to get her used to you playing with her for fun. Have her come to you, using treats. Throw toys with bells so she'll chase them. Try bubbles, she may like that.

With time, she should realized play time is fun, not a scolding. :)

The first "problem":
You may find it a bit difficult to keep her down off counters. WHY? Because height is a very real and very important part of a cat's territory. ESPECIALLY given the fact that she was wild. It is a survival instinct to be able to retreat UP (like onto a counter). I have a cat who's feet rarely ever touch the floor. She walks around on the counters and cabilnets, top of the 'fridge.....etc. It is where she feels safe. So, the bottom line is that I understand the desire to have the cat off the counters, but at least try to understand her point of view. You may be able to see that there are more important things than keeping cats off the counters.

The other "problem":
Yes, all cats are different. I have one (Fern) who took over 6 years to actually being to like to be petted. Now she asks for her pets twice a day. I have 2 others (Calvin and Willow) who cannot be picked up and held. It scares them immensely. And I work with fosters who usually do not come from the best of environments, and they take time and patience to learn what this thing is about being touched by humans. Oh, and yes, feral cats often do not know how to PLAY!. They never saw a toy and do not know what to do with one. My cat Biddy was actually afraid of toys at first. So the best thing for you to do is make petting sessions as pleasant as possible for her. Find the spot on her body that she really seems to love having rubbed. Give her treats when she allows you to pet her. But most importantly, don't frighten her by being too forceful. If she runs away, let her and wait until next time. Consistant gentle touching with slow (unscary) motions will work wonders.

It will take time,as she is used,to going where she wants,to ,and is not used,to being restricted,to the floor.and we hope,that you give her,the time,to adapt.And I always waited,for the strays,to come,to me,to be petted,that is a good idea.

Thank you all!! Hubby is scaring me by saying that she is growing more and more distant and will not come to me when she is ready. I think she will. She will rubb all over our legs when we get home until I feed her and in the morning when I open the door to the bedroom until she getts food. Actually hubby started feeding her in the morning in the kitchen and she does come find me after just a little bit (leaving her food) to come say good morning by rubbing on me but if I bend down to pet her she wanted to play this morning - she thinks that my hair is a toy so I have tried squatting down and not bending over her to pet her and she proceeds to go under my legs and around me and then that is it for petting time. This mornign she was grabbing legs and scratching and biting.

One thing that stands out is that all these weeks she will try to come close to me face with her paws and I always shy away and she looks like she is insulted and turns and walks away and last weekend before she really starting acting up I made myself stay still and not close my eyes and she very gently touched the top of my nose between my eyes with her paw. It was sooooo precious!!!!!! But with all her biting and scratching it is sooooo hard to trust her. Debbie

See! Progress, slow but sure. The one thing with getting a little bit older cat from a shelter is that you really don't know what they've been exposed to or what they might be afraid of. So you just have to go slow. You need to start trusting her, but she needs to learn to trust you too.

Patience is the name of the game, although it seems extremely hard at times. :)

Debbie - how do you use patience?? Sometimes I think I am doing so well and end up leaping backwards... Worse is hubby is out of patience with her so I'm trying to have patience and shield her from hubby and hubby from her. :( :( He heard me yelling at her this morning - she attacked my feet and ankles and then came at me again and so it is hard to reason with hubby and yell at Meka too.......Debbie