Actual notes on patients' charts
As someone who works as a medical transcriptionist I had to say these struck me particularly funny! Sometimes it is just a case of a misplaced comma which makes all of the difference. Don't read these while eating or drinking. It could be a choking hazard! LOL! :D
"Actual" Entries on Patient Charts
Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely.
The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993.
The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
The patient refused an autopsy.
The patient has no past history of suicides.
Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
Patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
She is numb from her toes down.
While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
The skin was moist and dry.
Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
Patient was alert and unresponsive.
She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
Skin: Somewhat pale but present.
Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Y., who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
