It is about Emma, I need your help!

I have three cats and all are strays.

Rascal came first and he will be seven years old over Labor Day.
He has been with me for about 5 1/2 years and he is wonderful. Everyone loves Rascal - and he loves them and shows them by giving lots of loving to anyone that comes to visit.

Annie and Emma are the last of a litter of kittens that a stray had next door to my home. My neighbor trapped the Mom and two of the kittens. Then he came to my door and announced THAT I COULD HAVE the other two. He also announces THAT THEY *MIGHT* BE PREGNANT.

He stopped feeding them.........and I took them in and had both spayed.

Annie is adorable, full of herself, normal, fun, loving, demanding and still a bit skittish of strangers. Rascal is showing her the ropes and she watches from a safe distance.

When I had the BBQ, I doubt that anyone even saw Emma. I think once she showed up on my roof and looked down.

My routine is to let them out during the day and bring them in the house in the late afternoon.

There are some traits that Emma has that seem easily explained. She is scared to death of doors. She is also afraid of feet.
God only knows what happened to her next door in her first nine months.

I am extremely patient with her and wait until she feels like going out (and she tells me) and even more patient when she wants to come in the house. I literally stand there as still as possible with the door wide open waiting for her to decide. When she does she makes a mad dash in the house - sure I am going to slam the door on her.

We seem to have resolved the feet issue. I am just very careful where I walk if she is in the room.

She will jump on the bed at night and sleep with me and that is probably the only time I can freely pet her. At first she would freak and jump off the bed. We seem to have overcome that.

She is just a loner, afraid of everything. Annie and Emma used to be thicker than thieves - that has changed and Annie hisses at her once in a while. Rascal is good to both of them but clearly favors Annie - giving her lots of baths and tolerates her antics.

I want to socialize Emma more, but it just seems like such a hard road I am on. Sometimes I pick her up when I can, and just cuddle her and then gently put her down. I try to make it a secure, pleasurable experience.

One day she is fine......and the next you would think I was Dracula. It is very frustrating.

So many of you have multi-cat households and I was hoping that one of you had some ideas for me.

Sorry this is so long....................Gini

If we only knew what happened to the babies we have before we got them...... It is going to take time for her to get over her fears, if she ever gets over them. I think they are a lot like people that they just have their own fears they are born with, and then they have fears of things they suffered in life.

Gini My Lexie is a little the same, very skittish, somedays she just runs out the door and in like something was chasing her, she is however very loving, and is easy to pet and handle, I have no advice, except to just be patient and give her time, Lexie has come along way with us, and has become much more trusting now, but its taken over a year., we don't know what happened to her previously either, it may have some bearing on it, but maybe its just their nature, who knows?:)

It seems to me that we did get a glimpse of sweet little Emma on Sunday evening. Gini, I don't have any advice because I don't have the experience, but if you don't mind I'd like to consult some of my Humane Society people that are very experienced on this. I know you will get lots of really good advice here on PT but the more we spread the news, the more info you can get.

Thanks to all of you for responding.

Slick, of course, feel free to share Emma's story, I really welcome any and all advice.

Like most of you, when I take in an animal, I have made a lifetime commitment. I vow to give it the most love, best care and food that I can possibly can. Emma has it made.......she just doesn't seem to get it quite yet.

She has been with me now for a year and eight months.

Annie got it right away Ah, this is mine, all mine!

Tonight for the FIRST time, she allowed me to go outside, pick her up and bring her into the house. She must know I am talking about her.:D :D

Quote:

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Originally posted by gini
Slick, of course, feel free to share Emma's story, I really welcome any and all advice.

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As Richard would say, DONE!!
Tonight, please tell them all that Auntie Slick loves them. :)

{{{{HUGS}}}}
Slick
xoxo

Gini,

It seems like my Hermoine and your Emma should talk. While Hermie isn't afraid of doors, she's afraid of all the same things Emma is, but refuses (out of fear :( ) to be picked up, ever.

When she was itty bitty, she was really social and showed no signs of being feral. But then, after she got real sick when she was about 3 months old, she totally changed. :(

Up until a few months ago, I was on egg shells when she'd come near David or I because I didn't want to scare her.

When people come over, she NEVER, EVER comes out.

Then, she began licking herself so much that her fur was coming out in patches and I enterpreted that as her being stressed. I went online and found that to "cure" what I thought she had was to engage her in one-on-one time, on her terms. I talked to her quietly (a lot), I walked into rooms quietly, and offered treats.

Slowly, it has worked. Her fur grew back (although, I found that was an allergy thing) and in the past few weeks, she's come out when COMPANY has been here...every time!! While she wont greet people, she'll still come out, eat, drink, use the litterbox and observe. She's never done that before!

I would let Emma come to you, on her terms. Just do as you have been doing, maybe adding treats, so she forgets her fears for a moment or two. ;)

I've always heard that it takes a lot of time for some kitties. Maybe Emma is just one of them. Regardless, I'll be saying some prayers that she'll see you for the kind, warm, wonderful person (and cat meowmie) you are in the mean time.

In some cases it seems to be character as well. Our Tigris didn't ahve one bad experience in his life. He was born one of four in a multi cat household, stayed with his devoted mom until he was 12 weeks old and came to us- where he is spoiled rotten.

However every loud sound or unexpected movement scares him. The day before yesterday he wanted to join me on the couch for some TV. I just wanted to take the remote from under him before he settled down- and that scared him so much that he dashed off taking my hand as a starting platform: The rebound of a 13 lb cat felt like a hammer on my hand:rolleyes:

Filou is the same situation. He stayed with his cat mom until 16 weeks. The bf of her owner was in love with him- he was the first pawpaw who shared rolls with cream cheese with Filou ;) And still you can touch Filou always with your nose- but never with your hand. He hisses at all my friends who tell him how cute he is ( ask Sara :rolleyes: and only allows us to pet him- but not when we want, only when he wants.......

However both of my guys are more relaxed about almost everything than they used to be. So I hope Emma will come around a little more.

We have to love them as they are....:)

Gini, Emma's story reminds me of Cataholic's Minnie. There's a thread or two somewhere (can't remember which forum), or maybe Jo will see this and reply.

All I can think of is maybe she is nervous because she's lost her place as Annie's best friend and isn't sure about her place in the hierarchy. She may eventually become closer to you in her own time - I hope so. :) I agree with NoahsMommy, let her do things on her terms and she'll let you know when she's ready for more contact :)

Yes, like Barbara has said, sometimes it's their character, but it could be bad experiences as well. And if that's the case, I would love to know what has been done to her and give the same back to those who did it! :( Poor girl!!

I think the only things that help here are patience, love - and time!

I know you're are patient already, and a part of her probably realizes she's in a good, loving place, but I think sometimes it can take years for a kitty soul to heal.

And I'm sure she's already much happier now than she was with her first humans.

Kirsten

The only thing,that I can recommend,is patience,and love,as these Poor ats,have probably been ill treated,in thier young lives,and they will have,to learn,to trust you,slowly.It took me ayear to get Precios,used to me,and now she is my best Friend!