*sigh* It's happening again....
I guess I could say... it's that time of the year again?
Ugh... I don't even know where to begin. If you don't like hearing my useless rants, don't even bother to read on... this is going to be a long one...
Remember back when my mom had that weeks fit of crying late at night? Well yup, it's started again.
Let's go back to... Sunday night. I was going to stay at my friend Anne's house so I wanted money for the 4th of July fair. My mom said she only had $20, so I shrugged it off. Later, my whole family was in this Mosinee parade for the 4th of July. Everything was fine and dandy... minus the fact that it was really hot. We get in the car and go home. My brother and I stayed outside and played basketball for 15-20 minutes. I was talking to my friend Anne, and I was planning to stay overnight at her house, and my dad was taking a while, so I went inside to get my stuff ready.
Low and behold, Mom's crying again. She mentions how she is a horrible person, the same stuff she said last time. She gives me $25, and I was like, "Mom, I don't need this much." She goes, "I don't care, just take it." Hmm... okay.
So I get in the car with my dad and I was like, "What's wrong with Mom now?" Ready?? Here goes.
We were camping this weekend, from Friday afternoon to Sunday morning. We were planning to stay up there until Monday, but supposedly, my Mom called and wanted us to help her in the parade. So we came home Sunday at noon.
Turns out, my Mom had called at 2am Sunday morning, while we were all in bed. My dad answered, (surprisingly, I never woke up, the cell phone was right next to my bed.) and it was my mom, in hysterics again. She said she was on her way to Tomahawk, where we camp. My dad was like, "Oh... okay?" So she gets to Tomahawk at around 3am. They sit and talk for a while, neither Jake nor I waking up during this whole thing. She leaves at 5:45am and my dad begs her to stay with us overnight because he doesn't want her driving home in the condition she's in. She says no, and goes home anyway. My dad tells her to call when she gets home to make sure she made it okay. She calls at 6:30 or so, it's all over. I never woke up at all.
So my dad tells me this on the way to Anne's. She's crying at this very moment, God only knows what's going to happen now. My dad said if she doesn't want to come home again, that he can't do anything. If she doesn't want to be with him anymore, that's the way it is.
*sigh*
Now to my part, I can't help but feel I triggered this. As lots of you know, my mom and I haven't had the best relationship the past few months. I have this gut feeling inside that I have been making her feel like she is a horrible person, when the truth is, she's not a bad person at all. I sure make it seem like she is, but... agh... I don't know. I hate the situation I'm in... I can't stand seeing her cry.
BTW, I thought maybe she was acting this way because her meds ran out or something, but she didn't.
Please, please, please wish my family luck in sorting out these problems. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm sort of stuck in this whirl of confusion. I'm scared, worried...
