Only in Britain …

I think we've had a similar version of this on Americans, but it seems they're not the only ones grappling with such baffling and inexplicable situations! More examples of the heights of logical and civilized behavior that our society can reach.


Be very proud to be British Because …

Only in Britain … can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in Britain … do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Britain … do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a DIET coke.

Only in Britain … do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

Only in Britain … do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Only in Britain … do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

Only in Britain … are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.

NOT TO MENTION...

3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.

58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.

31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.

19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.

British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents.

101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.

18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control Scalextric cars.

And finally.........

In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the Toilet!

RULE BRITANNIA!!
And they say the Irish are thick? :D

I think I would either.....not get medical attention....or make up a story before I would admit to some of those...trying on clothes with a lit cigarette for example.....LOL

(although the shirt with pins and the knife for screwdriver...well...I had better start thinking up alternative explanations!)

To true "Raise's hand" proud to be British,lol
Can we have the American one now,lol
Ky

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Originally posted by jonza

142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing
all pins from new shirts.
:D

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:eek: OUWCH!! :mad:

The Brits don't have a lock on THIS one!

Do the Shirt Pinners get paid by the PIN!? :confused:

I swear they stick an extra pin in every shirt ~
"HA! He'll never spot THIS one before he puts it on!"

:rolleyes:

Quote:

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Originally posted by Cinder & Smoke
:eek: OUWCH!! :mad:

I swear they stick an extra pin in every shirt ~
"HA! He'll never spot THIS one before he puts it on!":rolleyes:

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Aren't men lucky - most have women to remove them! :cool:

The song of today is: "Needles and pins" (Hollies)

Start singing! :D

Quote:

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Originally posted by Rio and Me
Can we have the American one now,lol
Ky

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Here you go: Only in America

Quote:

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Originally posted by Cinder & Smoke
I swear they stick an extra pin in every shirt ~
"HA! He'll never spot THIS one before he puts it on!"

:rolleyes:

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I have thought that before quite often! But I think women are luckier: if they buy a new blouse it comes perfectly ironed from the hanger and I can wear it tomorrow, if I buy a men's shirt it comes in a plastic looking gorgeous, then you take all the pins out you find and the rest under the front is all full of crinkles;)

About the America version: Do you have Boots and Tesco in the US. I thought Boots was British?


Thinking twice about the pins: this must be international terrorism.:eek:

Oops, I have used a butter knife for a screwdriver before. When my husband and I first married, he laughed at me for using a can opener as a hammer. I was 17 years old and I needed a hammer so I could hang a picture.:confused: ;)

I am perfectly convinced that you made several of these up!

I did hear recently though that some 100,000 Britons injure themselves on food packaging every year?!!

Common sense isn't common

So why is it called common sense?!

Just last weekend I went to put on a man's work shirt Don gave me.....sure enough...it had a pin I didn't see. (And to think pins were once considered extrememly valuable...were in fact used in trade as a type of currency.)Fortunately it missed my eye!

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using a can opener as a hammer

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What???? You didn't have a shoe??? That's what I always use! And butter knifes make great screwdrivers! :D :rolleyes:

I was just 17, I now use a shoe! I have learned a lot!!:D Shoes make great hammers!

Leaning on the open door here Jonza!!

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Originally posted by Randi
The song of today is: "Needles and pins" (Hollies)

Start singing! :D

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Was it the Hollies Randi - I remember the Searchers singing it!!

I found the ideal tool for knocking nails in is a pair of nut crackers!
Butter knives were surely meant to be used as screwdrivers - they seem to fit the slots in the screws better.

I think I qualify as one of those Brits., that end up in hospital. Some years ago I was cleaning the kitchen windows - by standing on the sink (ladders? too easy!!) and I fell off and broke my foot. At the hospital some doctor asked me what I was doing and I couldn't help buy reply 'TAP dancing'!! (get it? Sink - Tap! Oopps sorry that'll be faucet for you Americans!!)
He obviously had his funny bone removed at birth - :eek: ;)
I eventually explained what had happened - and yes he wanted to know why I didn't use ladders - so I told him - I hate heights!
You see the problem is - I'm a nutter! :D

--101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet. --

Have you ever knelt or stood on a piece of Lego? They hurt like........hell!! :mad: :eek: :mad: :D

Lynne

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Originally posted by lynnestankard

Was it the Hollies Randi - I remember the Searchers singing it.

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Lynne, you're most likely right. :) A good song though, don't you think!

Tap dancing IS dangerous (even if you don't dance on the faucet). One day Gene Kelly was tap dancing in the TV. I wanted to join him, fell and broke my wrist:rolleyes:

Germans are as stupid as anybody in the world: 80% of all accidents occur during home chores:eek: