I don't think Mr. Magoo is going to work out

Everyone has been so happy and the threads have been so much fun that I didn't want to be a downer but I have to let this out before my head explodes. I feel so guilty but after tonight I'm pretty sure that this is not the best home for Mr. Magoo. I hate to admit failure and I darn sure don't want to give up but I also don't want Mr. Magoo or my other babies to be uncomfortable.
I expected issues with everyone getting adjusted but what I never saw coming was Mr. Magoo being aggressive. I have to compliment my crew for being very welcoming to this strange kitty.
Here is the problem and why I don't think he is going to be happy here. We let him out in the evenings and he gets brushed, loved, and played with. He then wants to stretch out and relax. That's fine but he can't relax because one of the other cats walks by and he has to get up and see what was near him. If we get up and walk he feels like he has to follow us which is fine. When he follows one of the cats though and they stop he opens his mouth and attempts to bite them. Sammy was laying on the floor the other night being a very good boy. Mr. Magoo smelled him and walked up to Sammy. Sammy didn't move and they did the nose to nose and seemed fine. Sammy turned his head but Mr. Magoo kept sniffing until he got Sammy's ear in his mouth. I screamed and thankfully Sammy jumped up! After what he did to my wrist I promise you he would have torn Sammy's ear off!! Sammy jumped and walked a couple of feet and Mr. Magoo followed him and then tried to clamp down on Sammy's back!!! I again tried to write this off as fear but tonight he was at it again! Every cat that walked into the room or went to the litter box he went after. Now mind you he can't get there very fast but he always follows until he finds them. My guys are being very good and not running from him and they are trying to be nice to him. He followed Stubby tonight and when she stopped to give him nose kisses (shock!) he went at her! She got away and he started trying to climb the wall where she had been standing! We had to wait until we felt secure and then put him back in his cage. He is very aggressive!

I know what the problem is (I think). He can't relax outside of the cage. He tries but every kitty sound has to be investigated and he reacts with biting. He seems glad when you put him back in the cage and sleeps for a bit but then he starts tearing the cage apart and wanting out. I am at my wits end!! Hubby has just about had it because we are running around with a towel trying to protect our babies from one of Mr. Magoo's vicious bites!
I know things take time to adjust and I'm overly nervous because of my bite but I can't have this kind of thing continueing. With what he did to my wrist I absolutely know what he can do to one of the babies. If he was just aggressive towards me I could handle that but I can't protect nine cats without causing everyone to go crazy. I can't sit down, hubby is constantly jumping and now our nine are afraid to come around us when we have a towel because they are afraid they are in trouble.
I want to cry because the last thing I want to do is take him back to the shelter but I'm at my wits end! I'm exhausted and scared when he is out and I'm upset when he is tearing up his cage! He never seemed like this at the shelter.
I'm afraid you all will think I'm reacting to quickly but I'm telling you that I feel experienced enough to know that this cat is a nervous wreck here when he is out. He seems calm on the surface but there is too much activity with the kitties and it keeps him on overload. If I had a spare room that he could live in then that would be great but I don't. I don't know what to do!!! I am a problem solver but I can't come up with a solution. He would be wonderful in a home with no other kitties and someone fairly experienced with cats. He loves to play but does bite during heavy play time so you have to watch out for that. He is wonderful but the other nine are just too much for him.
Why didn't I think of this before? What will it do to him if I have to take him back? If there were good moments then I wouldn't be so quick but everytime he can get to one of the others he goes for the bite!
Please help because this is breaking my heart!!!!

Follow your heart and your instincts. YOU and only YOU know what is best for your other babies. You can not have him attacking the other babies and upsetting their lives anymore than need be. We know you will make the right decision for everyone concerned. At least you TRIED, you can live with that better than if you had just ignored the situation. We can't win them all and it hurts when we loose, but we do loose. May you find peace in the fact that you TRIED! ((((HUGS))))

I want to echo Laura's words. I am with you no matter what happens. It is NOT a *downer*. We each do what we can do in God's time and that is that. Kimlovescats put it something like that...maybe the next phase of his life is for someone else to deal with. You have already given PLENTY. And, you do not need PT approval, either. (((((((HUGGS)))))))))

I cannot imagine anything more wonderful than what you have tried to do for Magoo. It sounds like he would be more comfortable in an enviornment with less going on. That's about him and his disability ... not about you and your extraordinary effort.

I'm crying as I read this :(

You have a responsibility to your nine first and foremost. You have a huge heart to welcome Mr. Magoo into your home and give him all these chances. I agree with the fact that if he was just aggressive toward you, you should work through it. But since it is toward your babies, I understand your heartbreak :(

There are things you could try, but when it comes down to it, one of your cats could get seriously hurt in the meantime. I think you will find the answer in your heart. Whatever you decide to do, we know that you have made that decision with the best intentions for Mr. Magoo and your other 9 babies.

At least now that he has been in a home environment for a little bit, it will be easier to match him to another home if he goes back to the shelter. Since he's special needs and likes to bite, he may do well as an only-pet.

Keeping you in my thoughts. Stay strong. No one will judge or second guess your decisions. We all know you're wonderful!

You are going to be mad at me when I say this. But I do think you tried to soon to integrate the cats. Maybe you aren't able to address the situation, maybe this isn't the right forever home. I don't know. And, I don't think you are less of a person for making ANY decision you make. It is your home, your life, and you must be comfortable. And, I don't know now if things will be too tense for anything to settle down and become normal.

But, I think if you would have held off for a long while..longer than if Mr. Magoo had all of his senses, things could have gone differently. He bites as a reaction to his fear, his unfamiliarity with the situation.

I am sorry, I know this is not what I **should** be saying, but, I can't really see past Mr. Magoo's situation right now to provide much comfort.

:(

You people are going to make me cry again!! I can't imagine anything harder than taking him back into the shelter and leaving him there again! It makes me sick to think about it but I don't know what else to do. It is the blindness that is the problem. How can I ever get him used to constant activity in a free environment? How long was he out fighting on his own just to survive and can he put that behind him? Who will pay the price while we wait to see if he is going to learn and how high will that price be? I know for most people my wrist would have been enough but the damage to me is unimportant. It's the innocent cats that are trying their best to be nice to him that are going to pay the price. After the intense pressure from that bite I know he can cause very serious injury to another cat. He would have truly torn Sammy's ear apart or off his head! I have no doubt about that!
I'm trying to hard to come up with something to ease my guilt. I'm thinking that maybe if I do a bio and put his picture online he might get adopted. They could do a serious and very careful interview. I could even talk to them and make sure they truly understand his needs. But what if no one ever wants him? He will get sick and eventually die of lonliness and depression in that place. How am I going to live with that?

It almost sounds as if he should be in a one-cat home where he can feel safe to explore at his own leisure.

Do what you think is best and don't feel guilty at all. You are a wonderful purrrson and whatever decision you make will be all right with me.

CCL,

I've read your dilemma and all the responses that have been posted. My heart is breaking with you. But as others have said, you and only YOU can decide what is best. Your babies come first. While I do kind of agree with Cataholic on giving him his freedom too soon, I also see what you and your furbabies have gone through.

I also see Mr. Magoo as an "only" kitty. He needs to be king of the roost. While I know this breaks your heart, find comfort in that you tried every single way you knew how to make a furrrrever home for him. Sometimes cats just need to be only cats. I think Mr. Magoo fits that profile.

What I would do is a bio on him (I'll help you if you'd like, I used to write a Pet of the Week column for a newspaper) with a picture of him and put it on petfinder.com Emphasize the fact that he needs to be an ONLY kitty. I'm sure someone will find it in their heart to give him the furrever home he deserves.

Please do not beat yourself up over this. Things happen for a reason. Right now you need to get peace and harmony back into your home.

(((((hugs))))) to you for what you've done. Most people would've given up the moment he clamped down on your wrist. If you need to talk, I've PM'd you with my phone number.

CCL,

You have to do what is best for you & your fur family.

I don't blame you for having concerns about Mr Magoo with your fur kids, because of what happened recently.

But I also agree with Johanna, that he needs to be placed in a spare room for some time before being allowed to intergrate with other cats, in his furever home.

But this is impossible at your home because of the layout etc.

I do think he could live with other cats but he needs more time to settle than most cats.

Though from your description I think his biting is more fighting to be top cat than real aggression. Which is good new for his next home.

It is better that he goes back to spends more time at the shelter, than to stay at your home when you & your kitties are uncomfortable with him.

Good Luck with your wrist getting better and Mr Magoo finding his furever home very soon.

I'm so sorry to hear this! You tried everything you know and in your heart you feel you know what is right. I always say that you should follow your heart... because it usually leads to the right place. Mr. Magoo seems loving and it sounds as if he will flourish in a one-cat home.

I wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide!

Boy that's one tough decision to have to make, but for the well being of all involved, maybe Magoo will be happier in a quieter place. He likely still has that tom cat wanderlust and is frustrated by all that's happened in such a short time. You can't have your cats badly injured by him though, or you or hubby. :( Hang in there....we all know you're trying your best for all involved. ;)

Quote:

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Originally posted by catcrazylady

I'm trying to hard to come up with something to ease my guilt.

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I don't mean to sound like a turd but, would a little more time be better than a HUGE amount of guilt.

I learned that when the fecal matter hits the oscillating air displacement machine, in time the
FM falls off the blades.

It took me a while to learn how to ride a bike, ice skate and drive a car......

Our Hearts always want instant gratification but Time keeps creeping along....

I think that eventually he will calm down....remember, he was in an area where he was close to cats but unable to interact with them...

Your heart will tell YOU what to do, Time will give you the answer.

Best Wishes.

Lots of advice has been offered and kind words. I have taken offense to nothing that has been said. Everyone is speaking their mind with honest opinions and that is what I asked for.
I probably did make a mistake with the other cats too soon. My reasoning behind that in the beginning was because I knew he had been surrounded by so many cats for so long that I didn't think it would be an issue with him. All of this was done caged and he showed no sign of aggression at all. When he was given his freedom it was obvious that he was becoming territorial when the other cats were allowed back in the room. I was probably wrong but I really thought that by letting him meet and roam freely with the top two males early on then we could avoid him being so territorial of the room he was allowed out in.
I can promise you that his actions are aggressive top male attitude. He is not afraid!!! If Leroy walks within two feet of him he gets up and follows him until Leroy sits down and then he attacks!! There are no agressive moves from Sammy or Leroy. Mr. Magoo initiates the nasty. Do any of you really feel that if I waited another month or two or three that he wouldn't be territorial and want to fight? I'm thinking that the longer he is alone and then introduced again that it would be worse. I may be very wrong.
I know the pictures of him tore at all your heart strings just as he did mine. I thought I brought home a docile and loving kitty. I knew there would be issues and scuffles but I didn't count on him being so savage in his aggression. All joking aside folks I have been bitten many many times. I have shed a lot of blood from kitty bites and experienced lots of pain but no cat has ever had that much jaw pressure. Maybe because he hurt me so bad I'm overly cautious. I just can't imagine a bite like that on one of my cats.
Unfortunately I don't have a room that he can have all to himself. I have beat myself up for ever bringing him home because if I take him back I'm afraid it will be harder on him.
I appreciate everyones honest comments and understanding. I also appreciate the fact that looking at that precious special needs face makes your heart break. Living with him has turned out to be very different than I thought. I see his face and I cry for him but I will also kick myself if I end up crying over one of my precious nine if they get damaged like me.
I know I don't need everyone's approval and I have to do what is best for me and my home but we all rely so much on each other that I needed to share and I guess deep down I needed to know that it was ok. I guess I need understanding because it hurts so much.

By the time I type these too long messages many more of you have responded.
Richard maybe your right and more time is necessary. I guess what scares me about that is that if it comes down to it will it be harder on Mr. Magoo later than it would be now.
I guess there is no answer to that question because nobody really knows.
I'm just so confused.