exerpts from a cat's diary
I thought it was cute, is this what they REALLY think???? lol
DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little
dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced
to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of
escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional
piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving
around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try
this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse
these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their
favorite chair...must try this on their bed.
DAY 762 - Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with
sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the
night.
DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless
body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to
try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended
about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to
plan ....
DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no
good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it
included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds
could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb
still stuck between my teeth.
DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their
accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event.
However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass
tubes they call "beer." More importantly I overheard that my
confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this
is and how to use it to my advantage.
DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and
maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than
happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird on the other
hand has got to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful
tongue (something akin to mole speak) and speaks with them regularly.
I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement
in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a
matter of time....
