US Government etc. (jokes)
A New Hampshire Congresswoman asked for an aisle seat on the airplane so her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near a window.
I got a call from a Candidate's Staffer, who wanted to go to Cape Town. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information. She interrupted with "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Cape Town is in Massachusetts". Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, and Cape Town is in Africa". Her response.... (Click).
A Senior Vermont Congressman called, curious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map, and Florida is a very thin state!"
I got a call from a Lawmaker's wife, who asked "Is it possible to see England from Canada?" I said "No." She said "but they look so close on the map."
A Cabinet Member Aide called and asked if they could rent a car in Dallas. I pulled up the reservation and noticed they had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas, and asked why he wanted to rent a car He said, "Dallas is a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between the gates to save time."
An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20 am and got into Chicago at 8:33 am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!
A New York lawmaker called and asked "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to who?" I said "No, why do you ask?" She replied "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight and I think that's very rude". After putting her on hold (I was actually laughing) I explained the city code for Fresno CA is (FAT), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.
One day a Senator's Aide called inquiring about a trip package to Hawaii. After going over the cost information, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"'
A freshman Congressman asked "How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked what exactly he meant, to which he replied "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on them."
A lady Senator called and said "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola FL. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?"
I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola FL on a commuter plane. She said "Yeah, whatever!!:"
A Senior Senator called with a question about the documents he needed to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those". I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this, the said "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express."
A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations from Chicago to Rhino NY. After some searching, the agent asked "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the lady.
After more searching, the agent said, "I'm sorry, madam, but I looked up every airport code and can't find a Rhino anywhere". The lady retorted "Oh don't be silly. Everyone knows where it is, check your map!" The agent scoured a map of New York, and finally offered, "you don't mean Buffalo, do you?" "That's it! I knew it was a big animal" she admitted!!
NOW YOU KNOW WHY THE GOVERNMENT IS IN ITS PRESENT CONDITION.
Re: US Government etc. (jokes)
Quote:
Originally posted by Randi
After more searching, the agent said, "I'm sorry, madam, but I looked up every airport code and can't find a Rhino anywhere". The lady retorted "Oh don't be silly. Everyone knows where it is, check your map!" The agent scoured a map of New York, and finally offered, "you don't mean Buffalo, do you?"
A herd of buffalo can only move as fast
as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.
This natural selection is good
for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In
much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain
cells.
Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and
more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
-------------------------------
Rhinos don't drink beer!
;)
