Rilla birdie to the rainbow bridge
I can't even type this. I feel dizzy as I type this because it means it is real.
I came downstairs this morning to find that my Rilla birdie passed to the rainbow bridge sometime during the night last night. I feel so responsible. It should be me lying there and not her. It wasn't her fault. It was mine. All mine.
It was so very cold last night and I forgot to turn the heat up in her room. I can only assume that that is made her go. I am so tormented with guilt. I can't even face it. I fed her last night, and she seemed to be find. But was there a clue I didn't pick up on?? What happened?
Oh Rilla, beautiful birdie, Please fly free and eat all the millet you can. I am so sorry. But saying that isn't good enough. I just want to go back in time and hold you one more time. Just one more time. To tell you how much I adore you, how much cheer you bring to me.
Rilla was such a very special birdie to me. She wasn't very hand tamed and much prefered the company of her mirrors and bells to my hand, but that was OK. Our relationship was on her terms, not mine. She used to pace back and forth in front of the cage door wanting me to open it, but once it was open she would retreat to the back corner of her cage. I soon learned that it was because she just wanted me to come over and talk to her. I would lean real close between the bars, and she would nibble so softly on my lips. I would talk to her, and she would whistle oh-so-softly back.
I can't cry. I have this 200 pound weight against my heart. This can't be real. I just don't understand. It's all so sudden.
I've got to go. Peace, my sweet birdie.....
:(
Anna, please go easy on yourself
Anna, please do not blame yourself. You may never know what happened or why she moved on to RB. My heart goes out to you, knowing what it is like to second guess yourself over a pet passing away. I still wonder about Gabe and Greamer moving on in Feb. 2003.
Have you considered rescuing another birdie.....? It might help your heart heal a little.
Brrrrr. Stay warm sweet Anna.
SAS
XOXOXOXOXOX