Topper & Shadow

Hello All-
I promised to follow up on my psycho kitty situation. We have been using Feliway and Flower Essences now for the last month or so. Topper (new cat) seems to be doing better, still a little skiddish but also much calmer than he use to be. I am still VERY hesitant to let him be around Shadow without me holding him. I have very briefly let them be in the same room together without supervision, I feel like I am on guard all the time. I feel that as soon as I turn my head Topper might attack :(
It is starting to get cold outside and Shadow is not able to go outside during the day like he usually does (when he goes out Topper gets free roam of the house), and wants to. He gets irritated when I won't let him go out, but mom always knows best right? :)
Shadow still wants nothing to do with Topper, understandably so. I just keep hoping that if I let them see and smell each other a little each day for a little longer each time that they will get use to each other. How do I ease up and let Topper be in the room with Shadow and myself also there??? I feel like I can't let go of him, I am so scared he is going to attack my poor Shadow again and I don't know how to prevent it??
I am VERY paranoid. Shadow still hisses at him. When he hisses Topper just purrs and purrs and purrs very loudly. Last night they saw each other up in my bedroom and Shadow was VERY tired and could hardly keep his eyes open. That is the only time I have seen him not hiss at the little guy.
Any more suggestions? Topper is still staying in his own room when Shadow is in the house but I can't keep them separated forever??

Hi Ashley! I'm from KS (before I moved up here about 8 years ago). I used to live in White City. I also lived in DeSoto (near Lawrence) for a while and went to college in Manhattan.

Hello
I have lived here about 3 years. Before that I lived in southern Texas all of my life. Miss it this time of year when it gets SO frickin cold!!! :) Not sure where White City is but do know where Lawrence is. We live in Prairie Village.

Toby looks like my Shadow minus the white collar :)
my photos are at:
http://home.kc.rr.com/ashleyramsey/pets.htm

Have you thought about trying to talk to an animal behaviorist? If not then maybe you should. They might just be able to help you. Good luck and please keep us posted. :)