My beatiful Boxer

I had to re-register because I'm at work and forgot my password. I was Tanya14. I put a post on this board on Tuesday about my Boxer, Rocky, dying so suddenly Monday night from bloat. Well, I guess things are getting better, slowly but surely. There is a problem though.

My miniature schnauzer stayed home alone yesterday for the first time. Apparently, he howled and cried all day (my neighbor told me). He is very depressed. I think part of the problem is that I had been home for the last 2 months. So I think he's been hit twice as hard with Rocky gone and me being back at work. Today he's gone to Doggie Daycare and he's fine there. Does anybody have any suggestions how to help him get over this?

The vet just called and said that Rocky's ashes are in. We had him cremated alone ($$$). It seemed like a good idea at the time, but now I don't know what do to with them.

I wonder how long it will take until I can actually talk about Rocky without crying? As soon as somebody mentions his name, I start up again. This is so hard, I'm wondering now if it's even worth it to have a dog. They don't live long enough.

Sandra, thank you for everything. Your e-mails really helped.

Don't give up on dogs.

They need you. You obviously give so much love to them. There are many homeless animals out there to love. It may sound dumb to say, but Rocky would probably want you to help other pets in need, especially mini-snauz.

Sorry for your loss.

-Ben

Tanya,

I feel your pain. Trust me it will get easier, but it will take time. As I said before, I still shed tears for my yellow lab friend who passed away 1.5 years ago, but I can cope now without him. It's so painful to see them die that I asked myself the same question, "why even have a dog when it hurts so badly when they die?" but now that I am done with the majority of my sorrow I look back at all those wonderful memories, memories that I will have for my whole life that I shared with my yellow lab, Beener. I would not trade that for anything in the world. They are very special and they are all mine to hold on for the rest of my life. That's why I will be strong and continue blessing my life with dogs.

I think the very best medecine, although you may not think you are ready, is a new dog or puppy. I suggest taking a drive to your local shelter and see if one of the dogs or pups there give you those "I can help you get through this with my loving personality" eyes. Maybe adopting a dog as a tribute to sweet Rocky?

Take care Tanya...you are in my thoughts.

Tanya,
It IS worth it to have a dog. They may not live long, but they put this very special feeling in your heart, and even though they don't live long you always remember them and their special little ways of doing silly, unique things. I have 2 boxers myself and my female (Roxy) is the light in my life. I don't know what I'd do without her. My boyfried gave me a choice between a 2 carat diamond ring or her for christmas one year and I chose her, for one simple reason. I diamond couldn't bring me all the joy that she's already brought me now.

Violet,

You're so lucky to have 2 boxers. They're the best dogs in the world. Please be careful about bloat though. The vet said it's more common in dogs with deep chests. I would hate to have happen to you what happened to me. I don't know if there's any way to prevent it though.

Tanya

Tanya:

When my second Golden died, I also had her ashes returned to me in a marble urn. I buried the urn in my backyard and planted a shrub over it. I thought it was a good way to have a memorial for her and every Spring, when the yellow flowers appear, they are a cheerful reminder of the happy times we had together. Perhaps you could do something like that for Rocky.
It's very sad to loose a dog, I know, but it's even worse to live without one. http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/frown.gif

Tanya, what better tribute to Rocky than to go to a kill shelter and save a life! That new dog will help get your mind off of Rocky for a little bit. The new dog will not let you cry. They have a way of distracting you. I know that right now it might be too hard to do it. Don't give up on dogs. They bring a love you just cannot duplicate. Hang in there.

Sweet Tanya. I think we all have that feeling when we lose our babies. "I can't put myself through this again." http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/frown.gif Within two years I lost three furkids and I said to myself the very same words. "I can't do this anymore." But before long there was another lab puppy, then another kitty and then a guinea pig hogging the bed. http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/smile.gif

Unfortunately for us humans, being the gurardians of these incredible spirits is an incredibly beautiful, yet at the same time, painful experience. They bring immeasureable joy and love and comfort into our lives every day that they are with us. But it is always with the knowledge, that in all liklihood, our best friends will pass over before us. But, it is my belief, that God entrusts to us the care of these beautiful souls. And in return for all they so selflessly give to us during their time here on earth, we have to endure the pain and sorrow of losing them. That's the bargain. But what would they do if they did not have us to care for and love them? They truly do count on us to be strong!!

As difficult as it seems right now, there will be a day, hopefully in the not too distant future, when you will feel the need to fill that big hole in your heart with another needy pup who wants nothing more than to share your love. Rocky's passing was so tragically sudden and shocking that I think you need a bit more time for it all to truly become real. You have to allow yourself time to grieve. As many of us have said, even years later the pain does not completely go away. More like a dull ache. But OH! those precious memories of happy days and laughter. I wouldn't trade one of those memories for anything on earth.

And your poor little Schnauzer! http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/frown.gif Sounds like he misses Rocky as much as you. Daycare seems to keep him busy and occupied. I'm not sure how feasible it is for you to bring him there every day. Is there another family member who can "take him" during the day when you are at work? Of course, you know many of us here would say that having another doggie pal at home would probably be a great comfort to him. But only you will know when the time is right. They truly grieve just as we do. For weeks after my Jingles passed, my husky/shep Cody howled constanly, searching the dunes at the beach where she and Jing would romp and play and swim. Not until Star, her new lab sister, entered the clan, did she begin to accept the loss of her best friend.

Tanya, I had Jingles individually cremated and her ashes placed in a beautiful urn. I had one of my favorite pictures of her painted onto the urn by a friend who is an artist. The urn sits in my sunroom; her favorite room. Always surrounded by fresh flowers. It may sound silly to you, but I talk to her there every morning when I have coffee. I tell her EVERYTHING! She is still my closest confidant. http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/smile.gif If you have a home with a yard (maybe you and Rocky had a special, quiet or pretty place where you spent time) burying his ashes somewhere where you can sit quietly and visit might be something you could consider. It is such a personal choice.

Please give yourself time Tanya. Surround yourself with people who love you and who loved Rocky. And talk about him. He was such an important part of your life. And while his physical body may no longer be with you, his beautiful spirit and your precious memories will live forever in your heart.

Love and prayers that God gives you strength to get through this very difficult time. You know we're all here for you.
Sandra

Hi Tanya,
I agree with the rest, there is no dog in the world that could take Rockys place, but maybe another dog would keep you busy and fill in the void for your little Schnauzer.
Since I have two Schnauzers I know they need a lot of love and the companionship of another dog. They love to play. It takes a lot of time and one day you will be laughing at the things you did with Rocky and how much fun you had with him and believe me he will always be in your heart and mind.

Tanya,
So sorry for your loss. It's always so hard. Non-pet people don't understand what our pets mean to us, so it's not a big deal to them, but all of us here know what a big deal it is, and we're here for you. Be sure to hug your mini Schnauz a little more and let him comfort you as well as comforting him. It certainly appears that he's feeling sad for the loss as well. I think the doggie daycare is a good idea. I would think that giving him as much love and attention as you can during these difficult times will help both you and him cope. Let us know how you are doing. You are in my thoughts...

Here's a little quote that I found that seems related to this topic:

"The final cause of dogs having such short lives...is in compassion to the human race; for if we suffer so much in losing a dog after an acquaintance of ten or twelve years, what would it be if they were to live double that time?"
-Sir Walter Scott

Tanya, there is a quote, "it is better to die and have loved than to live and never love" or somethin like that. Not only when you get a pet and they fill your life with love, you fill their life with love too. Rocky is probably in heaven right now, because All Dogs Go To Heaven! http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/smile.gif Maybe it would help a little to think about how happy he must be right now, and he's probably thinking about you. Think about all the good times you had together, and what he did that made you laugh. Eat ice cream too. But not too much. Cuddle with your furkid and be thankful for him, because he is still with us. And telling everyone helps too. Feel better soon!
And what to do with his ashes, sprinkle them a little at a time where he loved to play outside most, or bury them under his favorite tree with his toys in the backyard and plant lots o flowers on it.

When Dessi died, we made her an altar in the backyard under a rosebush. We took her ashes and spread them on the lake that we walked her to every day. On her birthday, I go put pink roses in the water. This helped me get a sense of closure when I was full of guilt because I could not say goodbye since I was out of town when it happened. Maybe Dessi and Rocky are running around playing together. I really hope you start to feel better soon. When the time comes, Rocky will send you down another little angel like Dessi did for me. You will know when its time.

Your other dog sounds like he's having the beginning of seperation anxiety. Reece had this BAD when I got him and actually still has it pretty bad but he is greatly improved. If you want to know some things you can do for seperation anxiety, I can tell you all the hints and tricks. Some of it may be too difficult for you to do right now during the grieving process though http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/frown.gif