Too funny!! Canine Barbies
I just got this on one of my other dog lists.
CANINE BARBIE
Obedience Barbie:
Barbie comes with a training bag full of gear, a set of utility articles, a full set of regulation obedience jumps, her own lawn chair, cooler, a subscription to Front and Finish, and her very own obedience Golden Retriever "OTCh Sparklepond's Shorestepper's Heelalong Fool" better known as "Two-hundred". Accessories such as HIT ribbons and high scoring club plaques can be purchased separately.
Agility Barbie:
Unlike most slim, attractive versions of Barbie, this Barbie is quite muscular from hauling very heavy A-Frames, teeter-totters, tunnels, and dog walks. She can carry an A-frame panel with one arm and set up all of the contact obstacles single-handedly. Barbie comes complete with a full set of agility equipment, lawn chair, cooler, stopwatch, battery operated fans, an open-sided tent for shade, sunscreen, bug-spray, rain suit, waterproof boots, 57 different agility rule books for all occasions, and her very own courier (Ken) who can hand deliver agility entries to the most popular trials and stand in line for Barbie. Ken also helps set up the equipment. Barbie also comes with her own agility dog, Border Collie "ADCH, MACH, S-NATCH Runaround's Speed Demon etc, etc, etc, ", or "Contact". Trailer for hauling agility equipment sold separately.
Tracking Judge Barbie:
Barbie comes with a polartec snowsuit, Gore-Tex raingear and boots, wool socks, leather tracking gloves, silk long underwear, sunscreen, bug spray, a baseball cap, a waterproof clipboard, mylar paper and space pens in three colors. She also comes with whistles in two different colors to match the snowsuit and rain gear, a complete set of tracking flags, a compass, and a set of 12 different tracking articles. Unlike most Barbies, this Barbie always has a "bad hair day" so it's best to leave a hood or the baseball cap over her hair at all times. Included in the deluxe version is Barbie's tracking dog "Pokealong's Can't Find Squat TD", or "Sniffer", a Siberian Husky who comes with his own harness and rope as well as a lifetime supply of hot dogs. Sniffer has been known to eat start articles with one gulp and turn the start flag into a large toy at TDX tests, grabbing it in his mouth and running in large circles around the field (especially when there is a large audience watching). This version also comes with a case of Valium for Tracking Judge Barbie for this very reason. This is the most expensive Barbie and most collectors prefer to leave her in the original box.
Earthdog Barbie:
Barbie comes with her very own monogrammed shovel, a custom-built liner for training, and a cage with three live rats. Also included are several pair of jeans, flannel shirts, t-shirts, rain gear, sunscreen, bug spray, and waterproof boots. Barbie comes with several small terriers (you choose the breed) and two first aid kits (one for the dogs when they get in fights, and one for Barbie when she gets her hand in the way) as well as a .38 revolver for emergencies (don't ask). This version of Barbie can be removed from the box but some collectors prefer to leave the terriers in the original box.
Herding Barbie:
This very popular Barbie comes with her very own authentic drover coat, Stetson cowboy hat, several pair of cowboy boots, waterproof boots for very inclement weather, silk long johns, wool socks, and a monogrammed staff. Much like Tracking Judge Barbie, this version of Barbie has perpetual "bad hair", so be prepared to leave the cowboy hat on at all times. Also included is her very own monogrammed stretcher so that she can be carried out of the arena when the sheep run over her. Barbie comes with her own Sheltie, "Round 'em Up's Chaser HI", or "Yapper". "Yapper" comes with her own gold-plated chain so that she can be hooked up to the barbed wire fence with all the Cattle Dogs and Border Collies (barbed wire fence not included). Barbie also comes with several sheep, cows, and ducks, making her one of the more expensive Barbies.
Field Trial Barbie:
This Barbie is by far the most expensive. This Barbie will come equipped with two complete changes of flannel lined jeans, Polar Fleece vests, muck boots, hiking boots, Carhart bibs and coats, rip-stop chaps, oiled dusters, Outback hats, blaze orange vests and hats, leather work gloves, 6 different training whistles with distinct sounds, starter pistols, shotguns, bird bags, and a stock of quail and homing pigeons. She also has 4 complete changes of long underwear and wool socks and a baseball cap to hide her perpetually bad hair. She will also come equipped with a .44 magnum for emergencies. Field Trial Barbie will also come with several dogs at various training levels so that she might always have something to enter. Each dog will have a ground stake, food and water dishes, electronic training collar, and reversible orange and yellow reflective collar. Options available for Field Trial Barbie are the pair of Tennessee Walking Horses tacked out in Trooper Saddles, Calvary headstalls, 20' tie out stakes made out of truck axles, 30' roading line, and old orange juice bottles to carry dog water. Other options will include the three horse slant load trailer with tack room, a quad cab dual axle pick up truck, and an oversized motor home. Other options available for an extra charge will be the deluxe custom Built crates for the dogs and the understanding husband. Also available are the pigeon coop and recall pen. Options you will be purchasing weekly will be quail, shotgun shells, 50# bags of horse grain, hay, and 40# bags of dog food. Field Trial Barbie is extremely independent and travels extensively all year chasing Field Trials and good hunting grounds.
And last, but not least, the most popular one of all is the
Dog Club President Barbie:
Comes with TWO cases of Miss Clairol hair color (to color her own gray hair), a monogrammed strait jacket, a leather-bound copy of "Robert's Rules of Order", and a gold-plated gavel. The gavel unscrews at the end and is secretly a .357 magnum which can be used to keep unruly club member under control or just get rid of them all together!
Four wheel drive Sport Utility Vehicles and Mini Vans complete with dog crates are sold separately for all versions of Barbie.
