Things your dog should remember

Got this as an email and its a hoot!!!
Things you wish that your dog would remember:
> > > 1. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
> > > 2. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying
under
> the
> > > coffee table.
> > > 3. I will not roll my toys behind the fridge, behind the sofa or
> under
> > > the bed.
> > > 4. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the
> house.
> > > 5. I will not eat the cats' food, before they eat it or after they

> throw
> > > it up.
> > > 6. I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean
> carpet
> > > in the house when I am about to get sick.
> > > 7. I will not throw up in the car.
> > > 8. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, deer, etc. just because
I
>
> > > like the way they smell.
> > > 9. "Kitty box crunchies", although they are tasty, are not food.
> > > 10. I will not eat any more Kleenex or napkins and then redeposit
> them
> > > in the backyard after processing.
> > > 11. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
> > > 12. I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.
> > > 13. I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones,
or
> my
> > > people will think I am hemorrhaging.
> > > 14. When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled

> down
> > > when it's raining outside.
> > > 15. We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear
one
> on
> > > TV.
> > > 16. I will not steal my mom's underwear and dance all over the
> backyard
> > > with it.
> > > 17. The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are mom & dad's laps.
> > > 18. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
> > > 19. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for
mom's
> > > driver's license and car registration.
> > > 20. I will not play tug-of-war with dad's underwear when he's on
the
>
> > > toilet.
> > > 21. I will not eat mint flavored dental floss out of the bathroom
> > > garbage to avoid having a string hanging out of my butt.
> > > 22. I will not use "roll around in the dirt" as an option after
just
>
> > > getting a bath.
> > > 23. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an acceptable
way
> of
> > > saying hello.
> > > 24. The toilet bowl is not a never ending water supply and, just
> because
> > > the water is blue, it doesn't mean it is cleaner.
> > > 25. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my
> crotch
> > > when company is over.
> > > 26. The cat is not a squeaky toy so, when I play with him and he
> makes
> > > that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
>

I think I've heard that a few times... I think onece on Carl's (Rottie's Rottweiler) webpage, on the "Dog Humor" link, but I laugh really hard every time I read it!!!! :D Thanks for sharing that, Staci!!! :)

Quote:

Originally posted by shais_mom:
<STRONG>Got this as an email and its a hoot!!!
Things you wish that your dog would remember:
> > > 1. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
> > > 2. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying
under
> the
> > > coffee table.
> > > 3. I will not roll my toys behind the fridge, behind the sofa or
> under
> > > the bed.
> > > 4. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the
> house.
> > > 5. I will not eat the cats' food, before they eat it or after they

> throw
> > > it up.
> > > 6. I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean
> carpet
> > > in the house when I am about to get sick.
> > > 7. I will not throw up in the car.
> > > 8. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, deer, etc. just because
I
>
> > > like the way they smell.
> > > 9. "Kitty box crunchies", although they are tasty, are not food.
> > > 10. I will not eat any more Kleenex or napkins and then redeposit
> them
> > > in the backyard after processing.
> > > 11. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
> > > 12. I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.
> > > 13. I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones,
or
> my
> > > people will think I am hemorrhaging.
> > > 14. When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled

> down
> > > when it's raining outside.
> > > 15. We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear
one
> on
> > > TV.
> > > 16. I will not steal my mom's underwear and dance all over the
> backyard
> > > with it.
> > > 17. The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are mom & dad's laps.
> > > 18. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
> > > 19. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for
mom's
> > > driver's license and car registration.
> > > 20. I will not play tug-of-war with dad's underwear when he's on
the
>
> > > toilet.
> > > 21. I will not eat mint flavored dental floss out of the bathroom
> > > garbage to avoid having a string hanging out of my butt.
> > > 22. I will not use "roll around in the dirt" as an option after
just
>
> > > getting a bath.
> > > 23. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an acceptable
way
> of
> > > saying hello.
> > > 24. The toilet bowl is not a never ending water supply and, just
> because
> > > the water is blue, it doesn't mean it is cleaner.
> > > 25. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my
> crotch
> > > when company is over.
> > > 26. The cat is not a squeaky toy so, when I play with him and he
> makes
> > > that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
></STRONG>

Quote:

Originally posted by shais_mom:
<STRONG>Got this as an email and its a hoot!!!
Things you wish that your dog would remember:
> > > 1. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
> > > 2. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying
under
> the
> > > coffee table.
> > > 3. I will not roll my toys behind the fridge, behind the sofa or
> under
> > > the bed.
> > > 4. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the
> house.
> > > 5. I will not eat the cats' food, before they eat it or after they

> throw
> > > it up.
> > > 6. I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean
> carpet
> > > in the house when I am about to get sick.
> > > 7. I will not throw up in the car.
> > > 8. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, deer, etc. just because
I
>
> > > like the way they smell.
> > > 9. "Kitty box crunchies", although they are tasty, are not food.
> > > 10. I will not eat any more Kleenex or napkins and then redeposit
> them
> > > in the backyard after processing.
> > > 11. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
> > > 12. I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.
> > > 13. I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones,
or
> my
> > > people will think I am hemorrhaging.
> > > 14. When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled

> down
> > > when it's raining outside.
> > > 15. We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear
one
> on
> > > TV.
> > > 16. I will not steal my mom's underwear and dance all over the
> backyard
> > > with it.
> > > 17. The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are mom & dad's laps.
> > > 18. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
> > > 19. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for
mom's
> > > driver's license and car registration.
> > > 20. I will not play tug-of-war with dad's underwear when he's on
the
>
> > > toilet.
> > > 21. I will not eat mint flavored dental floss out of the bathroom
> > > garbage to avoid having a string hanging out of my butt.
> > > 22. I will not use "roll around in the dirt" as an option after
just
>
> > > getting a bath.
> > > 23. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an acceptable
way
> of
> > > saying hello.
> > > 24. The toilet bowl is not a never ending water supply and, just
> because
> > > the water is blue, it doesn't mean it is cleaner.
> > > 25. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my
> crotch
> > > when company is over.
> > > 26. The cat is not a squeaky toy so, when I play with him and he
> makes
> > > that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
></STRONG>

Hi: I do not know how to do this - it is my first time actually on the site...I kept leaving my Password at the office...and since it is a wierd one, I couldn't remember it either. We met on the Golden Retriever board and you were the only name I recognized on here. I am Honey's Mom's friend also. Looks like a very nice site if I could figure out how to post on it. LOL. Peggy :)

Yep, I met 'cha over there!! WELCOME!WELCOME!! Here is a tiny hint, when you want to reply go to the top right hand corner, that says Post Reply click on that and you can reply if you want to quote what someone says you click on reply/quote. Like you did. You can also go in on your 1st post and under edit/delete and delete that posting I believe. Tho that is sometimes dangerous!! I did it once and deleted the hole topic :mad: :(
Now that you are thouroughly confused, I hope you enjoy us over here!!!

Hi Peggy! I hope you can figure out how to post here, because it's a blast!

Staci I love that list! I have seen it before and it makes me laugh every time.