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Dogaholic....I am one
Picked this up from another site. Thought you fellow dog lovers would enjoy it. By the way, I answered "Yes" to way more than three of the questions.
DOGAHOLICS ANONYMOUS
Good Evening. My name is _________ and I AM a dogaholic.
I would like to welcome all of you to this month's meeting of Dogaholics Anonymous. Some of you are here tonight because a friend or relative brought you here. You may be sitting here thinking that you are OK and that you really don't need any help. It is not easy to admit that you are a dogaholic and it is even harder to bring yourself to a DAA meeting for help. DAA is here to assist you.
I have some questions to ask. If you can answer YES to more than three of the following, you have come to the right place.
Can you say "Bitch" in public without blushing?
Do you drive a station wagon, van or 4x4 when everyone else drives a real car?
Do you have more than one car? One for you and one for the dogs?
Do you spend your vacations and holidays going to shows, specialties and seminars when everyone else goes on a cruise?
If you do go overseas, is it to London in March to attend Crufts?
Do you discuss things at the dinner table that would make most doctors leave in disgust?
Do you consider formal wear to be clean jeans and freshly washed tennis shoes?
Is your interior decorator R.C. Steele?
Was your furniture and carpeting chosen to match your dogs?
Are your end tables really dog crates with tablecloths thrown over them?
Do you know the meaning of CD, CDX, UD, CGC, HIC,WC, JH, MH, CH, and OTCH?
Is your mail made up primarily of dog catalogs, dog magazines and premium lists?
Do you get up before dawn to go to Training Classes? Dog Shows? Seminars?
If you do have dresses, do they all have pockets?
Do those pockets often contain freeze dried liver, Rollover or squeaky toys?
When you meet a new person do you always ask them what kind of dog they have and pity them if they don't have one?
Do you remember the name of their dog sooner than you remember their name?
Do you find non dog people boring?
Do you subscribe to an internet dog mailing list?????
If you answered YES to one of the above, there is still hope.
If you answered YES to two, you are in serious trouble.
If you answered YES to three or more, you have come to the right place.
My advice to all of you with three or more YES's is to sit back and smile, turn to the smiling person next to you and know that your life will always be filled with good friends and good dogs and it will never be boring
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Had to add these priceless questions that another member, who is also a confessed dogaholic, added to the original post:
I have a few more items that I would also have to plead guilty to:
~ Do you have more collars and/or leashes than dogs?
~ Does your house look like a two year old lives there because there are so many toys laying around?
~ When you take your dog away for the weekend does he get to choose which toys he brings?
~ Would you rather spend time with your dog than some people you know?
~ Is half your linen closet full of old towels you can use to dry off your dog?
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Guilty! Are there meetings or a class to deal with this problem? http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/biggrin.gif http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/biggrin.gif http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/biggrin.gif
[This message has been edited by Genia (edited March 31, 2001).]
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As someone who once worked as a CD nurse I have to admit I am definitely a Dogoholic - I answered yes to so many of these questions!! It is great - am e-mailing it to my other dog friends.
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Logan, that is great. Thank you for posting it.
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You know me like a book! Here are some more that apply to me.
You think there is nothing wrong with kissing your dog on the mouth.
Any spare change or tissue in your pocket is always covered with dog treat crumbs.
Your dogs go to the groomer more frequently than you go to the hairdresser and it costs more for them than you.
You don't think you could LIVE without a dog in your life.
You actually enjoy picking up dog poop....the search and find aspect of it.
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" If you don't mind smelling your dog's feet to see if it smells like Fritos" http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/biggrin.gif
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Ha Ha Ha!!!! I forgot about the Frito feet...that's a good one! http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/smile.gif
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Rachel, I thought I was the only one to almost enjoy picking up poop! I can relate to everything on the list. I freely admit to being a Dogaholic.
So funny, so true.
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Another one:
You actually are excited when you get a brand new shiny poopie scooper! And cleaning up the yard and finding all those hidden poopies does bring a feeling of satisfaction for a job well done. http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/biggrin.gif
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I think of it as a dog owner's version of an Easter egg hunt. There might be one more to find http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/biggrin.gif
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HA! HA! HA! You all never cease to amaze me! I honestly thought I was nuts! Phew! What a relief! I'm in good company! I call it going on Poop Patrol!!!! Like landmines- gotta find them all!!! Then, oh God!, I examine them for any alien objects. When I first got Cody, I used to gag, now, I'm such an ole pooper-picker-upper pro, it's scary! I figure I can handle anything now! http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/biggrin.gif http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/biggrin.gif http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/biggrin.gif Face it, where else, on the face of the earth can ya talk about dog poop and get away with it!!! http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/biggrin.gif http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/biggrin.gif http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/biggrin.gif http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/biggrin.gif
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Okay this is gross but I am going to admit it. When my sisters and I have to clean up Daisy's poop, which I must say we don't do very often, we play this game... we each grab shovels and then we see who can collect the most poop and who can find the largest variety of colors! LOL I know, we are disgusting... I always win http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/wink.gif I know Daisy's best hiding places!
