Kitty's reaction to my son-in-law.

A few years ago my son-in-law aggravated our kitty when she was eating and she lashed out by trying to bite and scratch. Now whenever he tries to be nice and approach her she does the same. Whenever he comes to the house I isolate her in a back bedroom. He says I am co-dependent (regarding her behavior) and has no tolerance for kitty or my protection of her.

She doesn't do this to us unless we scare her or surprise her. We are very gentle with her since she was a foundling who we suspect may have been abused. Thing is she is so very loving and the most affectionate cat I have ever had..but not to everyone and particularly not to my son-in-law.

Any suggestions as to how to handle this kitty and "family" situation?

Thanks..

Does your kitty like kitty treats? He could try giving her treats. Or, in the alternative, he could fill her food bowl for her and make sure she sees it.

Interesting how he turned the situation around and called you co-dependent when he's the one who caused the problem in the first place. I'm sure that your kitty can sense how he feels about her even though he's now trying to be nice to her. I understand that this is probably a sticky situation for you because it involves family but I would be sure that my cat is nowhere in the perimeter when he's around. If she truly had been abused before she came to you, of course she's going to be erratic in her behavior around others, especially those who have no tolerance for her. Personally, I'd tell my SIL "hands off" and if he didn't like it, oh well.

I have to agree with Medusa!!! The cat was not bothering anyone while she was eating, but your SIL did. Wonder how he would like it if he was pestered while HE was eating. Your cat was just doing what her instincts tell her to do, and that is to PROTECT herself. We have a rule in our house, that the cats live here and you are just a guest, so leave them ALONE... and if people do not like to hear that, too bad. But, I have yet to have a person complain...Too bad for the SIL that the cat remembers how he treated her. I hope, though, that eventually they both might be able to work things out. Good luck....

I'm with you, kb2yjx! My boyfriend's son has cats, and they are never allowed on the furniture or in the bed, etc... He always remarks that both of us let our cats on the sofa, bed, etc.... We always tell him, this isn't your house, you don't live here, and we let YOU sit on the furniture! Why on earth would we not allow the cats, who live here, to do the same? I would ask the SIL to respect the kitty's wishes. She lives there, he doesn't. Him bringing her treats and toys may warm her up, but I doubt it. Once you get on a cat's bad side, that's usually it!

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Originally Posted by Medusa

Interesting how he turned the situation around and called you co-dependent when he's the one who caused the problem in the first place. I'm sure that your kitty can sense how he feels about her even though he's now trying to be nice to her. I understand that this is probably a sticky situation for you because it involves family but I would be sure that my cat is nowhere in the perimeter when he's around. If she truly had been abused before she came to you, of course she's going to be erratic in her behavior around others, especially those who have no tolerance for her. Personally, I'd tell my SIL "hands off" and if he didn't like it, oh well.

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Yes, I think you are spot on. Thanks. And God bless..

This is good advice. And I sure will consider it..and be sure to keep kitty and him separated. No, she doesn't like kitty treats..but that is a good idea. He doesn't live here so filling her feeding dish wouldn't have much significance for her. She doesn't attack him unless he provokes her. Thanks all of you who have replied so far.

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Originally Posted by treybabe

This is good advice. And I sure will consider it..and be sure to keep kitty and him separated. No, she doesn't like kitty treats..but that is a good idea. He doesn't live here so filling her feeding dish wouldn't have much significance for her. She doesn't attack him unless he provokes her. Thanks all of you who have replied so far.

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Okay. So. I guess I didn't understand your first post. He is provoking her on purpose?!? That is just not nice! I would keep them separated when he is there, or, not invite him!

Your SIL deserved what he got for aggravating her while she was minding her own business. He sounds like a real piece of work.

My daughter's cat hates my freaking guts because I trimmed her nails once when she was in a bad mood. Now everytime I want to make nice she hisses and growls at me. Even when I have treats or canned food to give her!!! Now I let Amy's fiance' trim her nails. I can't be bothered.

I had a similar problem with my RB Meezer Ming. He was a goof that loved everybody, until one day a friend and her daughter (about 10 yrs old at the time), came to the house. It was a very hot day and the a.c. was down for repair, and the little girl just wouldn't leave the cat alone, even tho he tried nicely to get away from her. I asked her not to pester him since it was hot and he didn't like the heat, but she kept at it, until finally Ming lashed out at her. From that day on, he had no tolerance for any kids being in his house (other than my own), and just the sight of another kid being around was enough to set him off. He would crouch, lay those ears flat, swish the tail, and literally scream at them. He remained that way for the rest of his long life. He was still a goof and loved everybody tho - just not kids. :(