I thought this was kind of cute :)
It's from Everything Dogs Expect You To Know.
LEASH: A strap which, w hen attached to your collar, allows you to lead your human wherever you want him or her to go.
DOG BED: Any soft clean surface, such as the w hite bedspread in the guest room, or the recently re-upholstered sofa in the living room.
DROOL: What you do when humans have food, but you don't To do this properly, you must sit as close as you can and look really sad, wh ilst letting the drool fall to the floor -- or better still, on their laps.
DEAFNESS: This is an affliction which affects dogs at times when their human wants them in, but they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly at the human, then running in the opposite direction.
THUNDER: This is a signal that the world is coming to an end. Humans remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to warn them of the danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling your eyes wildly, and following at their heels.
WASTEBASKET: This is a dog toy filled with paper, envelopes and old sweet wrappers. If you get bored, tip the basket over and artfully arrange the contents all around the house until your human ocmes home to admire your efforts.
SOFAS: The dog equivalent of human napkins. After eating it is entirely appropriate to run up to the sofa and wipe your whiskers clean on it.
BATH: An activity during which humans soak the walls, floors and th emselves as thoroughly as possible. You can assist by shaking vigorously and frequently.
NUDGE: The perfect way to get your owner's attention w hen they are busy drinking a cup of tea instead of paying attention to you.
LOVE: A feeling of intense affection, given freely and unconditionally. If you're lucky, your human will love you in return.
Thanks for reading; I hope it brought a smile to you today. :D
