Today marks two months since my best friend, Nicole, passed away. A few friends and I will be going to "her" park again, pouring out two diet cokes, and lighting a candle. Two months.
Two months seems like such a short amount of time in books. Two months seems like such a short amount of time to wait for a cool show you want to go to or something you've been waiting for. Two months seems like an eternity when your best friend was taken away.
"I still can't believe you're gone" is exactly correct, thank you Puff Daddy. There's still those days where I think I can just call you and you'd be here within seconds like you always were. There's still those days where I think I can go hang out with you, at Super Wal-Mart, at 1am. I haven't been to Super Wal-Mart in two months compared to what... everyday? You used to call me up and asked if I wanted to hang out. I quit asking where we were going/what we were doing because I knew we were going to Super Wal-Mart, atleast once in our adventure. If not, something was wrong, and it generally included picking up @$$hole.
Ya, @$$hole. At first I was siding with him and felt badly for him. It's cool, Mia still needs to know who her sperm donor was, but I refuse to call him a dad. He's not a dad. I think it was that boyfriend of your mother's who said something like "Anyone can be a father, but it takes a man to be dad." TRUE THAT. I do know you wanted Mia to know her father and I truly hope he attempts to be a part of her life. It just goes to show how amazing you were, as you were able to look past how sh!tty he is. You found good in anyone.
Nicole, I know you're watching Mia grow up but I just want to tell you how amazing she is. Seriously. She is the most perfect, beautiful baby I've ever laid eyes on. She's so pretty and looks just like you. You were a beautiful person and I'm so glad she's taken after you. I'm sure she'll be just as amazing. She has so much love surrounding her and I know you're so proud of that.
I spent time with her yesterday, fed her, changed her, loved her. She is amazing. I love you and I love her. I'm so glad she is here, a part of you. She's all we have left of you, besides beautiful memories. She is here for a reason and that reason is to keep your spirit alive. I think her being here has made losing you a tiny bit easier, if possible.
I love you Nicole and thank you.
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