I need some advice from you girls again!!

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09-08-2008, 03:48 AM
Genny

I need some advice from you girls again!!

Hey, well here I am again with another guy question. I don't know where to start, but maybe I should start kinda at the beginning--and I'll try not to make this real long!

I met this guy about a year ago at this little grocery store place near my house... I thought he was cute, but if you know me then you know I'm too shy to ever talk to a guy:rolleyes: but one day I finally got the nerve to say something to him....I told him that I thought I saw him at Sonic the night before and he said yeah that he thought he saw me too--so it started there---everytime I went to the store he would smile at me--and at this grocery store the guys usually carry your bags out for you if you have a lot of heavy stuff, but he would just walk out to my car with me anyway almost every time and just ask me how I was and stuff.

I even got to where sometimes I just went to the store to get something we weren't even out of just so I could go and say hi. Well months and months had went by and I kind of hoped he would ask me out one day, but he never did. He did ask where I lived though and I told him--and it ended up that we live 10 minutes away from each other. I live with my mom, brothers, niece and grandparents...he lives with his parents--I told him that he should stop by and see our house one day (we were having new rooms built onto my grandparent's house at the time) and he said sure, that he would one day. Well another month or so went by and he had never drove by or anything, but everytime almost that I would go to the store he would say something like 'I drove my your house but I didn't see you outside' and I'd say something like well why didn't you knock on the door and he would always say he didn't want to come knocking on the door...he said he would feel funny doing that:rolleyes:

Anyway it seems like forever went by and one day I went in and he was putting food out on the shelves and I was getting some lemons to be honest--I was taking my time cause I wanted to say something to him but I didn't know what to say. Then out of the blue he just said 'what are you doing friday?' I was like nothing I don't think and he asked me if I wanted to go swimming at the lake with him. I said yeah sure I probably can. I couldn't believe that he had finally asked me out!! But that friday came and he called and said that he wasn't going to be able to go that he had to help his grandpa work on the roof of his barn, so I was all cool about it even though I was disappointed....well a couple of days later he asked me if I wanted to go to the movies on a saturday night and I said yeah, so all week I planned on going to the movies with him sat. night, but the day before my mom tells me she has a Dr. appointment in B'ham saturday and she needed me to ride with her so she wouldn't have to make the drive alone...and we were going to spend the night with my grea aunt when she got out of the Dr. office so I had to call off going to the movies with him, which upset me but didn't feel bad cause he had to do the same thing when he helped his grandpa.

Anyway he told me not to worry about it we would do something one day. Then a few days later he calls me and wants to know if it's alright if he drives by for a few minutes...and of course I say sure it's alright! He came by and it was so cool....we just talked but it was fun--until when he got up t leave and my 4 y/o niece yells and tells him that I want to give him a big 'smoochy kiss' LOL talk about embarrassing!!!!!!

Then that next day I saw him at the store and he ask me how old am I. I had never thought about his age or anything..and I guess he had never thought about how old was...until then....anyway I say 20...and he's like WHAT? you're 20!! I'm like yeah how old did you think I was and he's like 17 or 18...I said well how old are you, and he said 17. I couldn't believe he's only 17!! I guess he thought I was only 17 or 18 cause I'm little--I'm 5'3 and 105 pounds...and I thought he was probably 20 at least...and he's so tall he's like 6'3 a foot taller than me LOL

So anyway he acted cool about it but I know it shocked him and felt weird cause it did me. It felt weird to find out he was 17..I mean he just started his senior year and I graduated in '07.
My brother who is 28 told me that it's no big deal...that we wouldn't think too much about it if he was 30 and I were 33..and that's probably true...but I don't know.
Anyway that was back in July. I still went by the store to talk to him and he was still really nice and all, but he hadn't asked me out since then. So I went on with my life and met this other guy that I dated for a little while..he was an older guy--21--and he was really sweet---and this might sound corny and like a school -girl-crush but it's like I get this feeling--like butterflies in my stomach and my legs get weak~when ever I see him...I didn't feel like that so much with the 21 y/o I went out with...
I just don't know...I don't know what I should do...me and my bf broke up a while back. We just weren't getting along...

So anyway all of this has happened in about a year now. About 2 weeks ago I was out on the front porch swing and he (the guy that works at the store) drove by on his 4-wheeler-he saw me out and stopped. He walked up and we talked for about 20 minutes and kinda joked around like we use to.
Then 3 days ago I was walking around the block with my brother and he drives by in his truck and talks to me for a littlw while. Then yesterday I go to the store and he's there....I told him that they had the whole house built now and he saus really, I'll come by and see it some time...
so that was just yesterday...

What do you think? I don't know what to think? He confuses me. Does he like me? Does he still want to go out? Does he think I don't want to go out with him since he's younger? What's he thinking?
Are our age differences too far apart for us to go out? I know I'm 20 but I feel like I'm 16 or 17. I don't have a job right now cause I have been helping my mom as much as I can right now since things have been a bit crazy around here:eek:
But honestly, what should I do? I still get nervous when ever I am around him--it's like I can't talk or think right--LOL and my legs get weak feeling--
We see each other all the time just driving down the road in our cars. He always waves at me-he's just a real sweet guy and he seems real mature for his age..he works at his job and then when he's not working he has to help keep up his families farm and they raise cattle and he has to work out in the fields all the time.
Anyway I hope I didn't bore anyone to death with all of this--I just needed to get it out and see what you all think I should do, cause I don't want it to always be like this and me always wonder what might have happened, you know kinda what I mean?

Well I'm gonna go....talk to ya'll later..
thanks for reading this too:)
09-08-2008, 05:54 AM
ChrisH

Well, all I can tell you is my eldest granddaughter's boyfriend is 18 and she is 21 and are happy together. He was 17 when they began the relationship and there was a lot of disapproval from her Mum and Dad, - her Mum was so against it - but it settled down and now he's like one of the family.
09-08-2008, 07:43 AM
Scooter's Mom

When I had just turned 19, I went out with a 17 year old for a bit of time. The age difference was okay, we ended up splitting up for other reasons.

If it's been about a year now - maybe he turned 18 and feels more "on your level"?
09-08-2008, 07:48 AM
Laura's Babies

Three years is no big deal to me but to some people it is.. I have had relationships with men 10 years younger (was a lot older than your age during those times though).
09-08-2008, 09:50 AM
Taz_Zoee

Age doesn't matter. My boyfriend is 13 years older than me. But it always seems strange when you are both younger. Like I think back and I was 5 years old when my boyfriend was 18. :eek: But I met him when I was 29 (two days before I turned 30) and he was 43. It would have been "not okay" when I was 17 and he was 30, ya know?
My friend is a few years older than her husband and I don't even think about it unless we are talking about high school. Then I remember - oh yeah, he was only a Freshman when we were Seniors.

Maybe you could ask him if he feels weird about the age thing. You might find out he is fine with it, but thinks you have an issue with it. And if you do find out he has an issue, then you will at least know and not wonder everyday.

Good luck!! :D
09-08-2008, 10:09 AM
StarandBratsmom

It really isn't a big deal. Is he 18 now? How mature is he? Do you have fun with him? Is he good to you? I would go out with him, and if nothing happens romantically, at least you made a new friend.
09-08-2008, 04:47 PM
beeniesmom

Yeah, he likes you. Go for it.
09-09-2008, 12:41 PM
Cataholic

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but, here in Ohio...you could be charged with a crime called importuning. Seriously. While it may never come to be, you are an adult and he is a minor.

I JUST dealt with a case, considered taking it up on appeal, involving a 17 year old female and a 21 year old male. The male AND the female had inappropriate text messages...no contact mind you- just texts, and the guy was charged with importuning. This is the lowest level felony. It was reduced to the highest level misdemeanor. He is required to report as a sexual predator/offender 1 time a year for 15 years. No lie. No joke. No kidding. The parents of the girl attended the hearing and asked the judge NOT to find him guilty, that all they had wanted was a slap on the hand.

Big lesson to learn. 15 years is a long time.

The saying, "15 will get you 20" is still alive in well. At a minimum, I would consult with your state laws on contact with a minor, or, wait until he turns 18. Probably pretty conservative, but, to me, not worth the risk.
09-09-2008, 01:22 PM
Genny

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scooter's Mom

If it's been about a year now - maybe he turned 18 and feels more "on your level"?

I didn't mean it had been a year since all that happened. I know that's the way it sounded when I wrote it but what I meant to say is all that has happened in a year's time;)
09-09-2008, 01:27 PM
Genny

Quote:

Originally Posted by Taz_Zoee

Maybe you could ask him if he feels weird about the age thing. You might find out he is fine with it, but thinks you have an issue with it. And if you do find out he has an issue, then you will at least know and not wonder everyday.
Good luck!! :D

You're right I probably should, but it's like I'm too shy to ask him anything like that--I'm a big baby LOL:rolleyes: I don't know how to go about it. I'm just wondering does 'he' think the age thing bothers me? and could that be why he hasn't asked me out again, ya know?
09-09-2008, 01:33 PM
Genny

Quote:

Originally Posted by StarandBratsmom

It really isn't a big deal. Is he 18 now? How mature is he? Do you have fun with him? Is he good to you? I would go out with him, and if nothing happens romantically, at least you made a new friend.

No, he's still 17 right now--I'm not sure when he turns 18--I should ask him! He's very mature for his age to be honest. He doesn't act like a 17 y/o guy, seriously. He works himslef ALL the time--he helps people like friends/family out in the yards all the time and even offered to come by one day and help my mom and I out with moving furniture into our house.
I haven't ever got to go out on a date with him to know really if we'd have fun or not, but yeah when he comes over or we just see each other and talk I always have fun and laugh.
He's super sweet to me. He is that kind of guy that is serious, but funny and likes to make you laugh.
But, yeah if we don't ever actually 'go out' on a date I still will be glad that we're friends...ya know,....
09-09-2008, 01:39 PM
Genny

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cataholic

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but, here in Ohio...you could be charged with a crime called importuning. Seriously. While it may never come to be, you are an adult and he is a minor.

I JUST dealt with a case, considered taking it up on appeal, involving a 17 year old female and a 21 year old male. The male AND the female had inappropriate text messages...no contact mind you- just texts, and the guy was charged with importuning. This is the lowest level felony. It was reduced to the highest level misdemeanor. He is required to report as a sexual predator/offender 1 time a year for 15 years. No lie. No joke. No kidding. The parents of the girl attended the hearing and asked the judge NOT to find him guilty, that all they had wanted was a slap on the hand.

Big lesson to learn. 15 years is a long time.

The saying, "15 will get you 20" is still alive in well. At a minimum, I would consult with your state laws on contact with a minor, or, wait until he turns 18. Probably pretty conservative, but, to me, not worth the risk.

I never thought about all that stuff. My brother who is 28 now met his ex-wife when she was 15 and he was 18. They had a baby when he was 20 and she was 17, and got married when he was 22 and she was 19, so I never thought about the age thing being illegal. But thanks for pointing all that out for me--it makes me feel better to know all that:p LOL, no I appreciate your concern. Who knows we might not go out; but I don't know....