Dog Socialization problems

Okay, so my 1.5 year old Border Collie has some dog socialization problems. Living in the country for half the time I had her didn't help, and its my fault I did it incorrectly. But I am trying to change all that now. Just before I start, I wanted to make it clear in any nipping she does, she has NEVER bitten before. That would be a little more serious then what I need help on.

So it starts with just meeting another dog. The dog might try to sniff her and she will nip at its nose anytime its close to her or me. With a few dogs she loves to play and wants to just do it all day but those are dogs shes for some reason comfortable with(only 2). Although she will nip at them occasionally as well. I know very much about the Border Collie breed and I know she isn't trying to herd or control them, she does that with my cats, but with other dogs it seems to be out of fear almost. I hate to take her to meet new dogs unless I know the person well because she just lunges and nips at the other dog no matter how submissive or friendly the other dog is, she seems to be the dominant one.

She also does it with food and toys, even the other dogs. If they get close to it she will nip at them and grab whatever for herself. She is in no way attack like or anything just like she thinks its hers and no one else can have it. When she does that I take whatever it is away, make her lay next to it while the other dog gets whatever it is.

Any suggestions would be GREATLY appreciated. I take her everywhere with other dogs and I want her to meet other dogs without being mean or nipping at them every single time.

The best way to let a reactive or fearful dog meet another dog is between barriers, like fences (and maybe muzzles for extra protection). The leash is a very odd object that produces very odd behaviors. For a fearful dog, the leash itself can elicit aggressive behavior.

The best match for a fearful dog like yours would be a very calm, completely non-reactive dog, like an older male. Put the calm dog on one side of the fence and let your dog approach the calm dog from the other side of the fence. If your dog is on a leash, always keep it loose (a tight leash will cause a lot of stress and tension). Let her approach the other dog on her own terms. From your description, it sounds like your girl has some communication issues, but she can only learn doggy skills through personal experience. So let her approach the other dog by herself and on her own time. Anytime you see her sniffing and not reacting, reward her.

As for her protecting her resources from other dogs, this is not an unusual behavior. In fact, it's extremely common! However, when this behavior is chronic and it's coupled with a fearful dog, it can turn worse. So to counter this, simply have her relax by a dog she already knows and "likes". Give the other dog a treat. Then give her a treat. Give the other dog a treat. Then give her a treat. Repeat repeat repeat. Give several treats to the other dog. Then give her a handful. Assuming the other dog is friendly and can share food, you can even try having them both eat from the same hand. ONLY attempt feeding from the same hand when you're SURE both dogs will share. In the elephant training world, we call this cooperative feeding. It helps the animals feel like a family and bring them closer together.

Also, when your girl snaps at other dogs, she's most likely not doing it out of dominance. She's doing it out of fear. So your job now is to recondition her mind from "Ooooh, cr@p, it's a strange dog. I better be on my toes and snap if they get too close!" to "Oh yay! Another dog! That means treats and sniffs!". Also, to help her fear, you might also want to consider reasserting YOUR position as a benevolent leader. This will help her confidence. One excellent way to do that is to, essentially, control her resources: http://k9deb.com/nilif.htm