The reason she hangs out with unavailable guys is the same reason I did.
My dad was away a lot when I was younger. When I grew older (in my teens), I was attracted to 'unavailable' guys. I was playing the game of 'making Daddy come home', and it was really important that I WIN this time.
Except the win never happens. Never. Because you are trying to get your dad back - and none of these guys are Dad. Worse, you don't see them for who they really are - good and bad, as individuals - because your mind is still set on winning the 'dad' battle.
Have a look at how these 'relationships' and interests are the same as your relationship with your dad. "Dear dad - do you love me at all?"
You can go through ten years+ of this, or get help now. Your choice.
Here are what some professionals say about this:
Quote:
Some women become involved with [unavailable] men because they are repeating a difficult relationship situation from the past.
Typically, they feel they were always vying with their mother for their father’s attention.
...this girl — now grown up — may continue trying to find fathers to lure in and mothers to gain victory over.
If this is the case with you, you may be picking [unavailable] men in order to beat the competition, even though you don’t want the prize. It is all about competing, not about reaching the finish line.
Quote:
Women that love emotionally unavailable men have it entrenched in them to chase the attention of a man who just isn't 'there' whether it's on an emotional or physical sense or both. With both men and women who fall into this vicious cycle, it stems from a fear of loving and a fear of losing love.
http://www.singlescafe.net/attractin...lable-men.html
Quote:
Why do we keep attracting and choosing these men? It's almost as if we WANT to fail! Well, guess what. That may be part of it.
Some of the most common reasons for this pattern are as follows:
a) Some women don't actually want real commitment.
b) Some women inadvertently seek to recreate the bad relationships their parents had.
c) Some women have emotional baggage that prevents them from getting intimate, so they seek out men who can't be intimate.
d) Some women have low self-esteem that makes them believe they aren't worthy of a good man.
Therapists say that in discussing the problem with their patients, they often find that subconsciously, some women don't want real intimacy or commitment.
They have their own emotional blocks that are preventing them from seeking out healthy relationships -- but since they crave companionship, simply being alone isn't an option. Hence, they subliminally look for a man who can qualify as a boyfriend but who can't be anything lasting.
What causes this kind of self-sabotage? Your own experiences with friends probably tell you what studies have confirmed: We often unintentionally seek out relationships that parallel our parents'.
And last - just for the heck of it - look at the men's side of things:
http://ca.askmen.com/dating/curtsmit...ng_advice.html
And this guy:
Quote:
As for us "Unavailable" men, we tend to be more confident when potentially pursuing a new woman to see on the side. For us, there is no fear of rejection - if she says no, you just go home to your wife like you do every night. Plus, we "unavailable" types tend to be more confident around women in general.
