Vent??

I wasn't going to bother posting this until the New Year as I'm sure this is the last thing people want to read this time of year. However, I don't expect many to read, I really just need to get it out of my system. As dumb as it is, I've been so frustrated that I'm not sleeping well....sorry this will be long D:

A while ago I posted this thread about the cook being a j**k and making my job difficult. http://petoftheday.com/talk/showthread.php?t=136848

I work in the bar/pub in a hotel.

Basically I have a regular group in every Thursday. They knew about these cheaper wings they could get special for them. First week it wasn't cooked right, second week there wasn't any, so for the third week I said "for sure" we'll have them! The cook knew about this, but come that week claimed he didn't know and they couldn't have them....there was more to it then that but it's all in the other thread.

So my customers saw me upset over it all, and said they wanted to talk to the head person of the business. So the bar manager gave them the president of the company's number and they all called him the next day. I went to see him myself but he wasn't there. So I went to see the hotel manager, but she wasn't there.

After the weekend I'm called into work for a meeting. We all explain our sides of the story. The cook lies about everything making me look bad. I tell manager I have someone else who can back me up. Manager doesn't want to hear it. Meeting ends with manager yelling that I should NOT under NO circumstances have told the customers about the cook. Urg. Now, she seems to think I can't not be trusted with any information as I will tell every person who comes into the bar. Which is dumb. I ALWAYS make excuses for the cook. However, that night I was sick of it, and I felt my regulars deserved to know why they never seem to get the food they want. I would never tell some random person I never met before.

Also, the meeting ended with manager saying for me and cook not to work together. Fine by me. Only the next week I find out I'm scheduled with him. *SIGH* I ask manager why this is after he meeting we had. She said I'm jumping to conclusions and assuming he will do it again, and I'm only looking for trouble...! *growl* I can understand he saying this if it were the first time..or maybe the second...I've been working with him for about 6 years and he hasn't changed since, is it wrong for me to assume he never will?? Especially when manager lets him away with it. Plus, she's only been our manager for a little over a year, maybe 2 years now...

So then she calls me back and says "Speaking of looking for trouble, he doesn't work with you THIS week, it's NEXT week" what does it matter?! how is that looking for trouble just cause I mixed the week up? gawd.

Then at our xmas party she gives pretty much everyone a xmas present but me (full time) and a few of the people who only work the odd shift. Now, I don't care if I get a present, but it makes me feel like crap that she gives one to pretty much everyone but me. I put up with a lot, I'm good at my job, and a hard worker. She never says "hey Audrey, thanks for the hard work" o "thanks for dumping the loto machines even though it's not your job and I'd have to come in otherwise" She makes me feel like I'm a worthless, troublemaker who is unappreciated.

Ok so I imagen everyone is thinking "why the heck do you work there?" well, there are a few reasons. My mom is the bar manager and we are extremely short staffed. No one wants to stay there so it's pretty much me and her. She would be in so much trouble staffwise if I left. Although I warned her that I will not keep putting myself through this much longer. Another reason is my customers. I really love my regulars and I would miss them so much if I quit. They make my job sooooo much better. and also, I'm so comfortable there. I know my job, I know my customers.

Please, be honest....do you think what I did was ok? Does it sound to you like I'm looking for trouble??

All I want is to go into work, ring in food orders and go upstairs to find it ready without worrying if it will be there, or if the cook will cook it. I asked manager "is this so much to ask for??" and she didn't answer. She said I had to work it out myself, and that it's as much my fault for this whole thing as it is the cooks. I asked her if she could explain to me what it was that I did to make the cook not cook the food or tell people they can't order stuff before we're closed? I'd like to know so I can not do it again. She just gets annoyed.

It makes me so angry it's not funny. I REALLY want to work there, but I don't know why no one can see it from my point of view. The manger could care less if I'm happy. She treats the cook better then she does me, and he talks crap about her all the time....what am I doing wrong?

sorry this is so long. feel free to ignore me

You have a lousy boss who has no people/diplomatic skills. Doesn't matter how long the cook's been there. Right is right/wrong is wrong. Sounds like she's not too crazy about HER job and has no managerial skills. Believe me, I've been there and it's tough. You don't want anyone to hate you etc., but fair is fair. You sound like a dedicated, loyal employee. I was always super honest and friendly with customers I had..only because they knew I was busting my butt, covering other people's butt and trying to survive. If your customers go elsewhere..it's not your fault. Good luck, honey. Life is tough, and this is just the start for you. Hang tough kiddo.HUGS!

I think you and your mom should BOTH leave. Take a week off, then go to another restaurant.

I am sure this cook has a reputation in the industry, so other restaurants will understand you applying to work with them.

You and mom. There ya go! Particularly with an a-hole manager.

I think you need to get the hell out. You've been miserable and abused by them too long. Don't you think you deserve so much better? Don't allow yourself to be treated like that.

Yeah, I know you're right and I should leave. I've been around the place since I can remember so it means a lot to me. (as silly as that sounds) the same for my mom. She's been there for 30 years I'd say. I good chunk of the customers come to see her. I know the place would fall apart without her. (serves them right) we often talk about both of us just leaving one day...Mom can't seem to find a new job...she's been doing the same thing for this long and gets paid more then mini. wage. She said she can't live off mini. wage and keep her house.

My thursday night customers called head office for my sake. They said I shouldn't be treated that way, and if it doesn't change they have no problem going else where to prove a point (this is why my manager is so annoyed that I will tell them if there is a problem. Which I will. Funny thing is she can't see why I would tell them and have them all take their business else where if cook continues to walk all over me?? I told her I would tell them, let them decide for themselves what to do, and leave. Why would I think "Oh, Cook is being a j**K. I think I'll quit, but I hope these people stay here and keep giving the place business!!!" seriously??? lol. (these people give the company A LOT of money. The are monthly stays at the hotel AND give the pub lots of business. however, I wouldn't want them to leave just for my sake unless it's what they REALLY wanted) They make me feel so good about myself, but manager makes me feel like I'm a troublemaker and a crappy person o_O The place is for sale, I think I'll wait till the new year to see what happens. Maybe someone new will buy it and keep it going? wouldn't that be nice...if i had money saved I'd be interested in opening a resturant/pub. I know all our regulars would come!

Personally speaking, if one of my employee's bad mouthed another to a customer I'd be PISSED. That's not the customers job to hear about internal crap...HOWEVER!!!!! I don't work with Aholes and anything bad said in front of a customer would be something I, as a manager' would have addressed PRIOR to it getting to the point of venting to the clientel.
That being said, I assume you work full time? Regardless...do you REALLY want to be MISERABLE that many hours a week? You arent' responsible for your mom's situation. GET OUT!! How long are you going to put up with feeling lousey? Someone else suggested that you AND your mom both get out, which I agree with. However, it might not be as easy for her to make a horizontal move (find a management position elsewhere). You on the other hand should have no problem finding another position with compitent management. I bet most restaurants would KILL for someone with 6 years experience. Hit the papers and look for another job NOW. Nothing is going to get better and will most likely get worse where you are now.

Audrey I'm really sorry your problems seem to be getting worse.

I tell you, I know how it is. I went through a smiliar thing with management at my job last year. I got lucky and they replaced all 4 of my bosses:D

Can YOU go above your boss to her boss? That's what we do at my work. Then they take it from there.
There is no way she should have ever yelled at you. Like others said, she obsviously has no management skills.

I know you feel comfortable at your job (just like me). But if you can't get it resolved, you shouldn't stay were you are.

Just keep job hunting, sooner or later you will be ablet o move on to something better.

Sorry to read you have to go through all this. Can you talk tot he next level up mangement wise? If everyone received a pressie except you, that was noticed by everyone and is very poor management!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by slleipnir

I've been working with him for about 6 years and he hasn't changed since, is it wrong for me to assume he never will??

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Yes. It's been working for him all along so why should he change? I've been in management in only service oriented businesses my entire life and your boss doesn't know the first thing about management. Get out. These people are life chippers. They're chipping away at your life and each day that you procrastinate finding other employment is another day that you can never get back. Things may actually even ease up for your mother after you leave, which you should do immediately without looking back. And stop worrying about your customers. They go where the food and service are good. If this continues, they'll go elsewhere, too. And wherever you go, there will be other customers that you'll like and who will bring joy to your job.

Just a suggestion - that both you and your mom check out the first three posts in this thread: http://petoftheday.com/talk/showthread.php?t=137249

The cook and boss may be sick and toxic people - and the longer you and your mom stay there, the sicker you will get too. It's a form of enabling...

What is your mental health worth?

Sit down and make a plan B. Maybe you could move in with your mom for a while to ease rent expenses.

RUN, don't walk, out of there!

Then, if it ever DOES sell, you can see about going back - unless you are totally happy at the new place!

I keep telling myself this. I have no idea why I stay there. Each time I say "next time there is a problem I'm gone for sure" *sigh* I'll wait until after xmas and if no sign of change I guess I should start looking for a new job.

Manager tells me that if I go see higher up boss, all he will do is relay it back to her to solve. I don't think she is really a manager, she is more like a babysitter.

Thanks for the advise.

Kitten: normally I agree, and I would NEVER talk to the customers about problems going on. I can only make so many excuses up for him. I have had people get really pissed off at ME for something he did. and I just have to say "sorry about that" and continue to look bad. (this has happened) As I said this happens a lot. Nothing was being done.

I think the manager is telling you that her boss would pass it back to her to solve because she doesn't want you to go to him. I find it hard to believe that if you went to her boss to complain about HER that he would send it back to her. I mean, go to him tell him the entire story about the cook and that you've tried to work it out with the manager and nothing has been solved.
As I said in your other thread..........document EVERYTHING!!

Good luck. I hope either things get better or you get out of there. :)