Beware - MAJOR tearjerker
This is a letter from an owner to her basset hound that I found on another website. She was forced to PTS her 12 year old basset hound... I've been shedding tears since reading this and am stuck at work. all I want to do is go home and give noba hugs and kissies...
My Dear Sweet Bailey Bug,
It's now been one full day without you in my life. I spent the entire night sobbing over the loss of you. I keep remembering your big, beautiful brown eyes looking up at me in total love and trust, and you licking away my tears, as you drew your last breath. I sobbed and held your body and rocked you for almost an hour. I still can't believe what happened. Even the vet, with all his years of seeing pets die, was crying and told me it is rare to see the love I had for you. He said "often people cry, but you are obviousley devistated and are in very deep pain. Your level of grief is rare". In a matter of minutes, my day went from great, to the worst day of my life. When I came home from the store yesterday morning, and walked in the door, and you weren't there to greet me (and to check out what was in the grocery bags!) I KNEW something was terribly wrong. You had greeted me every time I came home, no matter what time it was,there you were, wagging your tail, and waiting for a hug. I walked into the bedroom and found you. I could see that you were completely paralyised, and yet you were trying to crawl to me to greet me. Apparently you had jumped down off the bed, like you had done millions of times before, every time you heard my car, and when you landed, it broke your back, resulting in your paralyisis. I immediatley scooped you up in my arms, and I thought somehow I could make you "young" again if I prayed hard enough, but in my heart I already knew this would be my last hours with you, and the tears started then. And they haven't stopped yet. I called your regular vet and they didn't "have time" to euthanize you. They were just too busy. So I called another and another and another and finally explained what happened and he said" Bring her in now". So I wrapped you in the little quilt I had made you last Christmas and carried you to the car and you laid your little head in my lap while driving there. A soon as the vet saw you, it just looked at me with sad eyes and said "I'm sorry. Her back is broken. There is nothing we can do to help her".
Deep in my heart I already knew that, but you always hope to hear different. The vet left me with you in the room so we could spend some time together. We both laid on some quilts and I held you in my arms and told you what a WONDERFUL girl you had always been. I told you that YOU were always my "favorite" one. But you knew I told that to Oliver & Chubbs too, and understood. You outlived your "husband" Oliver, and your sweet son, "Chubby". You were my first, and you stayed with me until the very end. I truly think you stayed, just to comfort me through the loss of Oliver & Chubby.
You were my little Bailey Boogers or Bailey Bug. I stroked your beautiful soft head and looked at those loving brown eyes of yours, so full of love and understanding and I could see that you were telling me that I needed to let you go now. It was time. You were tired and although you loved me like no other, you were ready to go across the Rainbow Bridge. It was time to go see Oliver & Chubbs and run through fields of daisey's and wildflowers. You had always told me what you needed. Whether it was pawing the door to come in or go out, or barking in the kitchen when it was time for dinner or a snack. Yesterday, you asked me to let you go. I would have given my own life to save yours my little Bailey. And now death was the hardest thing you have ever asked of me to give you. I wanted to be being selfish. You had become my world and I couldn't imagine my life without you in it. Now not only do I have to imagine it, I'm having to live it. Last night I spent the entire night on "our" bed, holding "your" pillow and sobbing. The pillow still smells like your favorite coconut shampoo (although you HATED baths!). Your pillow and purple collar are now all I have left of you. I left you wrapped in your Christmas quilt.
Someone sent me this poem last night.
A FINAL ACT OF CARING.....
There is a time to let go, a time to say "Good bye"
But how do we know when that time has come?
When there is no reasonable chance for a cure;
When pain can no longer be controlled;
When the quality of life has diminished;
When favorite activities are no longer possible;
When we do not have the financial or emotional resources to handle long term medical care;
We can act with compassion and end an animals life humanely and painlessly.
It is our final act of caring, and our final act of love.
I remember bringing you home. You were so tiny and cuddly with tiny little paws, soft fur, and HUGE brown eyes. Every time I looked into those eyes Bailey, I saw a very wise old soul. Your eyes always said it all. I could read your eyes like a book. You protected me. You made me laugh, sometimes to the point of crying. You licked away my tears during the divorce. Even if I had a bad day, I could come home and you wouldn't let up until I was laughing. Your eyes always said "Welcome home Mom! I missed you!" (Tail wagging)
You became my soul Bailey. I have never loved anything or anyone as much as I loved you. As you got older, your hair started to turn gray around your muzzle and your steps became slower.
When I would try to read the Sunday paper, you would lay completely across it in my lap. You never asked for anything other than my love and attention. I so hope I never let you down Bailey. I would pet your head and rub those huge ears of your as you went to sleep each night.
I LOVED YOU BEST...
SO THIS IS WHERE WE PART MY LOVE,
AND YOU'LL RUN ON, AROUND THE BEND,
GONE FROM SIGHT, BUT NOT FROM MIND,
NEW PLEASURES THERE, YOU'LL SUELY FIND.
I WILL GO ON, I'LL FIND STRENGTH,
LIFE MEASURES QUALITY, NOT IT'S LENGTH,
ONE LONG EMBRACE BEFORE YOU LEAVE ME,
SHARE ONE LAST LOOK, BEFORE I GRIEVE.
THERE ARE OTHERS, THAT MUCH IS TRUE,
BUT THEY WILL BE THEY, AND THEY ARE NOT YOU,
AND I, FAIR, IMPARTIAL, OR SO I THOUGHT,
I'LL REMEMBER ALL YOU'VE TAUGHT.
YOUR PLACE I'LL HOLD, YOU WILL BE MISSED,
THE FUR I STROKED, THE NOSE I KISSED,
AND AS YOU JOURNEY TO YOUR FINAL REST,
TAKE WITH YOU THIS, "I LOVED YOU BEST".
So now I must go and I'm forced to say goodbye my Bailey.
Give Oliver & Chubbs and BIG wet kiss from me. Now you can all finally be together and chase the squirrels in Heaven, and maybe this time you will catch one!
I have people offering to sell me puppies and saying "it's like falling off a bike, you have to get right back on" or "I'll take payments".
Some have been mean spirited. I don't know why.
Some say "It's just a dog!"
But then....they never met you!
I was so blessed by God to receive you into my life.
I was truly blessed by God again, that he allowed you to stay with me until the end.
This mountain seems too high to climb for me Bailey.
How do you learn to live without the only thing that really mattered to you?
You were my "family" and now I am alone for the first time ever.
I miss you so much, my heart actually hurts.
Rest in peace my little love.
God bless you my Bailey. And thank you for being "you".
I loved you "best" and I WILL love you forever,
Your Mom
