Would Someone Care to proofread my BSL essay?

Hey all, I wrote this research paper in the Spring for school and I'm planning on sending it to a couple of polliticians, including the ones in my dad's area. He said he watched a citywide debate on public television because they are considering it.
ANyway, I've had it proofread before I turned it in but I'd like some dog-savy people just to check it over.
If anyone'd like to distribute it you may as long as you keep the copyright info and don't take my words out of context.

English 363
10 April 2007

Combating Ineffective Legislation

In Ontario, all pit bulls in shelters were euthenized and a mandatory registration and alteration of all pit bulls that already had homes was enacted. Still today, these dogs must wear muzzles outside their homes. Any unaltered or unregistered pit bull is ordered to be confiscated and either euthanised or sent to medical research facilities, regardless of its history, quality of its home, or history of its owners. The officials making the decision weather or not a dog in question is a pit bull do not have prior knowledge of dogs. In fact, the same is true of officials throughout the world. Cities should not ban specific dog breeds from living in their communities because there is no objective standard for determining a dog’s breed, current bans are not working, and studies prove it effective to educate people simple conduct around dogs to greatly reduce dog bites.
The phrase pit bull should actually be in quotations or referred to as “pit bull type dogs” because it is not truly a breed. The term refers to a variety of breeds, and each city can choose their own combination to write into their legislation. Most frequently included under the term are American Pit Bull Terriers and American Staffordshire Terriers, which are essentially the same breed, depending on who is asked. Also sometimes included are the Staffordshire Bull Terrier, which branched off of the American Staffordshire Terrier in 1935, Bull and Miniature Bull Terriers, which are the logo for the Target Corporation and stores and were bred more to look like a fighting dog than to actually fight (and happen to be low on bite incidence lists), and finally the American Bulldog, which was portrayed as a goofy, fun-loving breed in the movie Homeward Bound.
Supporters of banning breeds, the main form of BSL, or Breed Specific Legislation, say it is the easiest way to deal with the dog bite epidemic. The average American has a one in 50 chance of being bitten of a dog of any breed each year (“Pet Owner Liability” 2). Lately, some of the same breeds have been responsible for the most attacks. Denver found a dramatic drop in bites from pit bull type dogs after banning them, although they still suspect many are living underground within city limits. Banning these breeds would be the easiest option without “dramatically reducing the rights of dog owners” (“Pet Owner Liability” 6). What is the easiest is not always the most effective route of dealing with a situation. Denver also reported a considerate increase in bites by German Shepherd Dogs and Labrador Retrievers during the years pit bulls were banned. German Shepherds inflicted a range of bites from 118 to 72 per year from 2001 to 2005. Labradors still boast as high as 99 bites per year in 2001. In 2004 and 2005 when the ban was lifted for 13 months, “Pit Bulls” were responsible for only 56 bites (Keilman 4). The American Veterinary Medical Association explains that statistics must be carefully interpreted because the breeds on top directly correlate to the popularity of the breed (2). The above statement that breed banning will not “dramatically reduce the rights of dog owners” is entirely false due to the fact if an owner has his or her dog confiscated they no longer have any rights as owner of the pet.
Breed ban enthusiasts claim certain breeds inflict more damage than others. Although the number of people killed by dogs is miniscule compared to other every day occurrences such as cars, a few breeds or mixes of these breeds are always on top (Polsky 2). Indeed politicians such as Michael Bryant of Ontario believe this is due to the growing popularity of aggressive breeds. Attorney Kenneth Phillips points out if an irresponsible owner wants a tough dog where pit bulls are banned he can buy another molosser breed such as the Presa Canario. Still, in looking to the notion that pit bulls inflict more damage than other breeds we must compare them with other breeds that have attacked. A Jack Russell Terrier and a Pomeranian, both under 20 pounds are responsible separately each for the death of an unattended infant. Two Presa Canarios killed a woman in California. The recipient of the world’s first full face transplant in France needed the surgery because of an attack by a Labrador Retriever. Banning every breed that has been known to be involved in a fatal attack would prove near impossible and definitely impractical. While American Pit Bull Terriers may inflict damage when they do bite, they do not have locking jaws as popular myth dictates. They are in fact, one of the easiest breeds to stop in an attack with proper knowledge and use of a break stick. This is simply a wedge of wood that is inserted into the mouth of the dog where there is a gap in teeth. A twist of the wrist will pry the jaw open (“APBT FAQ” 1).
There is no set objective for determining what breed a dog is. The process of determining a dog’s lineage if not recorded is by no means scientific. Safia Gray Hussain, a law student, points out the fact that there is a “lack of finite standards” which makes it very difficult for even dog experts to tell whether a dog is a pit bull type dog (9). Doug Kelly, the director of Denver Animal Control is one of the officials in Denver responsible for seizing pit bulls. He shares the city’s process of identifying a dangerous dog, “The easiest way to define a dog as a Pit Bull is to just look at it. If it looks more like a Pit Bull than anything else, we confiscate it “ (qtd. In Tremayne 2) If a dog is a mix, it can be almost impossible to tell its heritage. According to Todd Wolf of Morris County SPCA, “Two dogs from the same mixed-breed litter could be viewed intirely different under the law” (qtd. in Tremayne 4). There is also a factor of choosing which breeds to ban. According to the AVMA, cities often base their dangerous breeds list on “a serious attack by a specific dog” (qtd. in Tremayne 2). Hussain agrees in the Fordham Law Review. She has also found that breed bans are “designed in part to alleviate public fear and provide a feeling of security” (7). The list of breeds usually included is growing fast because cities feel they must include whatever breed the next town over banned in order to avoid becoming a dumping ground for the dogs such as Aurora, Colorado has. There can also be a startling range in temperaments within the same breed depending on how the individual dog what raised and what they were bred for. Just as a Border Collie bred and raised to herd sheep is almost a different breed than its show cousin, an American Staffordshire Terrier bred carelessly with monetary gain in mind and raised on a chain to look tough is 360 degrees different from one bred with health and temperament in mind and raised as a service therapy dog, save for its courage and loyalty. Both dogs would be effected the same under current legislation.
Many officials in charge of dealing with dogs in places with breed bans are very ill educated. Most often animal control officers are not well educated in dog facts and behaviour before starting their jobs. This is shown on the Animal Planet show Miami Animal Police while during one episode in an early season an animal control officer informs viewers that pit bulls have locking jaws. This is actually an urban legend originating from the fact that American Pit Bull Terriers will bite down and hold prey while other breeds will bite multiple times. The same officer shows courage and pity for the dog as she uses a catchpole to capture a frightened mother pit bull mix and puppy in an upscale neighborhood. She tells the audience the dog means no harm, but they are dangerous because they can snap at any time, not being able to control their actions. American Pit Bull Terrier authority and author of realpitbul.com explains, “When an owner is startled by a sudden, aggressive outburst, it is because they have been unaware of problems that were brewing. This is true of all dogs, not just Pit Bulls…No dogs ‘turn’ on their owners” (2).
Intact male dogs are 2.5 times more likely to attack than neutered dogs or females. Chained up dogs are 2.8 times more likely to attack than unchained dogs according to The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. 68% of the attacks resulting in death of the victim during the years 1997 and 1998 were on the dog owner’s property (Polsky 2). Most owners of a dog that has a history being dangerous fail to comply with regulations such as proper confinement, muzzling in public, and altering (Gladwell 8). (Also known as neutering or castrating for males and spaying or hysterectomy for females.) It is not the responsible owners and breeders who keep intact male dogs that pose a threat, but the ones who fail to confine properly their large, untrained and unaltered dogs. Such dogs are usually bought as a fashion statement, status symbol, or ego booster. Any breed of dog that is untrained, unaltered, and encouraged to become a threat will become a dangerous dog. With this knowledge, better laws targeting the control of dogs in general, accompanied by education programs would be the most effective way of dramatically reducing dog bites. In several communities, education programs set up by dog bite victims have shown great results. Nationwide education programs similar in organization to the Just Say No campaign designed by dog behaviorists and veterinarians and backed up by true facts have the potential to show the same results they have proved on a small scale.
If communities continue to ban breeds they will be putting a band-aid on the dog bite epidemic, which is in need of major surgery, and that band-aid is going to hurt when pulled off. Dogs that have proven themselves valuable members of society by serving as police dogs, service dogs to deaf or injured people, certified therapy dogs to hospitals, or have achieved a Canine Good Citizen title by passing a number of training and temperament tests will continue to be effected and killed while irresponsible people continue to breed and keep a different breed such as the Rottwieller or Doberman in such a manner that they too will top the bite lists. This is already becoming the case today. Only with set education programs can we start to reverse the epidemic and the general views of a naïve society.



Works Cited
Gladwell, Malcolm. "Troublemakers (Pit Bulls)." The New Yorker 6 Feb. 2006, 81.45 ed.: 23-31. InfoTrac.
Gray Hussain, Safia. "Attacking the Dog-Bite Epidemic." Fordham Law Review (2006). 12 Mar. 2007 <http://www.animallaw.info/articles/arus74fordhamlrev2847.htm>.
Harwelik, Mary. "Myths." The Real Pit Bull. 2004. 22 Mar. 2007 <http://www.realpitbull.com/myths.html>.
Keilman, John. "Denver Ban Curbs Pit Bulls,Sends Them Underground; [Chicagoland Final Edition]." Chicago Tribune 8 Feb. 2006: 1. ProQuest.
"Pet Owner Liability." Issues and Controvercies. 23 Feb. 2007.
Phillips, Kenneth. Dog Bite Law. 8 Dec. 2006. 6 Mar. 2007 <http://www.dogbitelaw.com/PAGES/advice.htm>.
Polsky, Richard. "Dog Bite Statistics." The Dog Expert. 22 Mar. 2007 <http://www.dogexpert.com/>.
Stahlkuppe, Joe. The American Pit Bull Terrier Handbook. Barron‰Educational Series, 2000. 1, 17-4, 19.
"The American Pit Bull Terrier (APBT) FAQ." Frequently Asked Questions. 22 Mar. 2007 <http://www.nyx.net/~mbur/apbtfaqfaq.html#q8>.
Tremayne, Jessica. "Colorado VMA Opts for Diplomacy to Stop Denver's Enthusiasts." Thompson Gale (2006). InfoTrac. 22 Feb. 2007.

[c Eva M, 2007. Whole text may be distributed at any time for educational purposes, do not pull text out of context. Please cite correctly.]

Hi, good content, very informative. Here's my "proofing" suggestions:
(We have some grammer experts on this board, too)


Combating Ineffective Legislation

In Ontario, all pit bulls in shelters were euthenised euthenized, and a mandatory registration and alteration of all pit bulls that already had homes was enacted. Still today, these dogs must wear muzzles outside their homes. Any unaltered or unregistered pit bull is ordered to be confiscated and either euthanised(sp.) or sent to medical research facilities, regardless of its history, quality of its home, or history of its owners. The officials making the decision weatherwhether or not a dog in question is a pit bull do not have prior knowledge of dogs. In fact, the same is true of officials throughout the world. Cities should not ban specific dog breeds from living in their communities because there is no objective standard for determining a dog’s breed, current bans are not working, (suggest you end this sentence here & starting a new one with “Studies”)and studies prove that it is effective to educate people regarding simple conduct around dogs to greatly reduce dog bites. (cite reference here?)
The phrase pit bull should actually be in quotations or referred to as “pit bull type dogs” because it is not truly a breed. The term refers to a variety of breeds, and each city can choose their own combination to write into their legislation. Most frequently included under the term are American Pit Bull Terriers and American Staffordshire Terriers, which are essentially the same breed, depending on who is asked.
(suggest breaking this next sentence up into a couple Also sometimes included are the Staffordshire Bull Terrier, which branched off of the American Staffordshire Terrier in 1935, Bull and Miniature Bull Terriers, which are the logo for the Target Corporation and stores and were bred more to look like a fighting dog than to actually fight (and happen to be low on bite incidence lists) ,/perhaps break here?/ and Ffinally the American Bulldog, which was portrayed as a goofy, fun-loving breed in the movie Homeward Bound.
Supporters of banning breeds, the main form of BSL, or Breed Specific Legislation, say it is the easiest way to deal with the dog bite epidemic.


The average American has a one in 50 chance of being bitten of a dog of any breed each year (“Pet Owner Liability” 2). Lately, some of the same breeds have been responsible for the most attacks. Denver found a dramatic drop in bites from pit bull type dogs after banning them, although they still suspect many are living underground within city limits. Banning these breeds would be the easiest option without “dramatically reducing the rights of dog owners” (“Pet Owner Liability” 6). What is the easiest is not always the most effective route of dealing with a situation. Denver also reported a considerate increase in bites by German Shepherd Dogs and Labrador Retrievers during the years pit bulls were banned. German Shepherds inflicted a range of bites from 118 to 72 per year from 2001 to 2005. Labradors still boast as high as 99 bites per year in 2001. In 2004 and 2005 when the ban was lifted for 13 months, “Pit Bulls” were responsible for only 56 bites (Keilman 4). The American Veterinary Medical Association explains that statistics must be carefully interpreted because the breeds on top directly correlate to the popularity of the breed (2). The above statement that breed banning will not “dramatically reduce the rights of dog owners” is entirely false due to the fact if an owner has his or her dog confiscated they no longer have any rights as owner of the pet.
Breed ban enthusiasts claim certain breeds inflict more damage than others. Although the number of people killed by dogs is miniscule compared to other every day occurrences such as cars, a few breeds or mixes of these breeds are always on top (Polsky 2). Indeed politicians such as Michael Bryant of Ontario believe this is due to the growing popularity of aggressive breeds. Attorney Kenneth Phillips points out if an irresponsible owner wants a tough dog where pit bulls are banned he can buy another molosser (?define molooser?) breed such as the Presa Canario. Still, in looking to the notion that pit bulls inflict more damage than other breeds we must compare them with other breeds that have attacked. A Jack Russell Terrier and a Pomeranian, both under 20 pounds are responsible separately each for the death of an unattended infant. Two Presa Canarios killed a woman in California. The recipient of the world’s first full face transplant in France needed the surgery because of an attack by a Labrador Retriever. Banning every breed that has been known to be involved in a fatal attack would prove near impossible and definitely impractical. While American Pit Bull Terriers may inflict damage when they do bite, they do not have locking jaws as popular myth dictates. They are in fact, one of the easiest breeds to stop in an attack with proper knowledge and use of a break stick. This is simply a wedge of wood that is inserted into the mouth of the dog where there is a gap in teeth. A twist of the wrist will pry the jaw open (“APBT FAQ” 1).
There is no set objective for determining what breed a dog is. The process of determining a dog’s lineage if not recorded is by no means scientific. Safia Gray Hussain, a law student, points out the fact that there is a “lack of finite standards” which makes it very difficult for even dog experts to tell whether a dog is a pit bull type dog (9). Doug Kelly, the director of Denver Animal Control is one of the officials in Denver responsible for seizing pit bulls. He shares the city’s process of identifying a dangerous dog, “The easiest way to define a dog as a Pit Bull is to just look at it. If it looks more like a Pit Bull than anything else, we confiscate it “ (qtd. In Tremayne 2). If a dog is a mix, it can be almost impossible to tell its heritage. According to Todd Wolf of Morris County SPCA, “Two dogs from the same mixed-breed litter could be viewed intirely(sp) different under the law” (qtd. in Tremayne 4). There is also a factor of choosing which breeds to ban. According to the AVMA, cities often base their dangerous breeds list on “a serious attack by a specific dog” (qtd. in Tremayne 2). Hussain agrees in the Fordham Law Review. She has also found that breed bans are “designed in part to alleviate public fear and provide a feeling of security” (7). The list of breeds usually included is growing fast because cities feel they must include whatever breed the next town over banned in order to avoid becoming a dumping ground for the dogs such as Aurora, Colorado has. There can also be a startling range in temperaments within the same breed depending on how the individual dog what raised and what they were bred for. Just as a Border Collie bred and raised to herd sheep is almost a different breed than its show cousin, an American Staffordshire Terrier bred carelessly with monetary gain in mind and raised on a chain to look tough is 360 degrees, is different from one bred with health and temperament in mind and raised as a service therapy dog, save for its courage and loyalty. Both dogs would be effected the same under current legislation.
Many officials in charge of dealing with dogs in places with breed bans are very ill educated. Most often animal control officers are not well educated in dog facts and behaviour (sp) before starting their jobs. This is shown on the Animal Planet show Miami Animal Police while during one episode in an early season an animal control officer informs viewers that pit bulls have locking jaws. This is actually an urban legend originating from the fact that American Pit Bull Terriers will bite down and hold prey while other breeds will bite multiple times. The same officer shows courage and pity for the dog as she uses a catchpole to capture a frightened mother pit bull mix and puppy in an upscale neighborhood. She tells the audience the dog means no harm, but they are dangerous because they can snap at any time, not being able to control their actions. American Pit Bull Terrier authority and author of realpitbul.com explains, “When an owner is startled by a sudden, aggressive outburst, it is because they have been unaware of problems that were brewing. This is true of all dogs, not just Pit Bulls…No dogs ‘turn’ on their owners” (2).
Intact male dogs are 2.5 times more likely to attack than neutered dogs or females. Chained up dogs are 2.8 times more likely to attack than unchained dogs according to The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. 68% of the attacks resulting in death of the victim during the years 1997 and 1998 were on the dog owner’s property (Polsky 2). Most owners of a dog that has a history being dangerous fail to comply with regulations such as proper confinement, muzzling in public, and altering (Gladwell 8). (Also known as neutering or castrating for males and spaying or hysterectomy for females.) It is not the responsible owners and breeders who keep intact male dogs that pose a threat, but the ones who fail to confine properly their large, untrained and unaltered dogs. Such dogs are usually bought as a fashion statement, status symbol, or ego booster. Any breed of dog that is untrained, unaltered, and encouraged to become a threat will become a dangerous dog. With this knowledge, better laws targeting the control of dogs in general, accompanied by education programs would be the most effective way of dramatically reducing dog bites. In several communities, education programs set up by dog bite victims have shown great results. Nationwide education programs similar in organization to the Just Say No campaign designed by dog behaviorists and veterinarians and backed up by true facts have the potential to show the same results they have proved on a small scale.
If communities continue to ban breeds they will be putting a band-aid on the dog bite epidemic, which is in need of major surgery, and that band-aid is going to hurt when pulled off. Dogs that have proven themselves valuable members of society by serving as police dogs, service dogs to deaf or injured people, certified therapy dogs to hospitals, or have achieved a Canine Good Citizen title by passing a number of training and temperament tests will continue to be effected(affected) and killed while irresponsible people continue to breed and keep a different breed such as the Rottwieller or Doberman in such a manner that they too will top the bite lists. This is already becoming the case today. Only with set education programs can we start to reverse the epidemic and the general views of a naïve society.

Thank you very much!! :D

I am NOT a person to correct grammar or spelling :o so... GO PAT for that one!

The entire thing was great! VERY informative and lots in interesting facts!!
Great job!!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by pitc9

so... GO PAT for that one!

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I'm putting that Masters degree to good use... not in my field, but I sure learned a lot about writing papers, LOL!

Cyber did the editing and corrections (good work Cyber) so all I can say is WOW, that's some great paper you wrote. I remember you mentioning that you were going to be doing this and picking that subject I knew it would be tough, but congratulations, terrific job.

Thanks. It pulled a B.