The squirrel Story

Squirrel story!

There were five country churches in a small Texas town:

The Presbyterian Church, the Baptist Church, the Methodist
Church, the Catholic Church and the Jewish Synagogue.

Each church and Synagogue was overrun with pesky squirrels.

One day, the Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what
to do about the squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they
determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.

In the Baptist Church, the squirrels had taken up habitation in
the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a cover on the
baptistery and drown the squirrels in it. The squirrels escaped somehow,
and there were twice as many there the next week.

The Methodist Church members got together and decided that they
were not in a position to harm any of God's creation. So, they humanely
trapped the squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three
days later, the squirrels were back.

But the Catholic Church came up with the best and most effective
solution.They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members
of the church. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.

Not much was heard about the Jewish Synagogue, but they took one
squirrel and had a short service with him called circumcision. They
haven't seen a squirrel on the property since.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by lizbud

Squirrel story!

... the Jewish Synagogue ...

They took one squirrel and had a short service with him ...
They haven't seen a squirrel on the property since.

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OMG!
<snikker>

Womby would have been proud of THAT one!
;)

I think Shirley knew that guy...Sheldon was his name!

LOL! What a nutty story!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Edwina's Secretary

I think Shirley knew that guy...Sheldon was his name!

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Hee hee :)

I think the catholic treatment was pretty funny too.

But the Catholic Church came up with the best and most effective
solution.They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members
of the church. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.

In reality, the Methodist Church would still be waiting for a decision by the committee set up to discuss the squirrel problem.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lady's Human

In reality, the Methodist Church would still be waiting for a decision by the committee set up to discuss the squirrel problem.

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No. no - this is what the Lutherans are doing....over coffee and jello salad.

The difference between Methodists and Lutherans can therefore be boiled down to this:

While the Lutherans are discussing it over coffee and jello salad, the Methodists are discussing it over a pot-luck dinner and hymn sing.

(When my wife asked me about Methodist churches, I told her we do two things REALLY well: Eat and sing, and not necessarily in that order)

And the radical squirrels that were brought into the Muslim faith hijacked the religion and behaved badly.....



Squirrel attacks two parents, student in S.J.


Wednesday, May 9, 2007

(05-09) 15:26 PDT SAN JOSE -- An 11-year-old student and two parents at Evergreen Elementary School got a scare this morning when a squirrel ran into the building and attacked them, drawing blood in two cases, school officials said.

All three victims were treated for bites and scratches at a local hospital, said district spokesman Will Ector, and all are undergoing rabies treatment as a precaution. They also were administered antibiotics, he said.

The attack occurred as a classroom of first-graders was preparing to go on a field trip, said Ector. Two parent chaperones were standing in the room when a squirrel ran in and then up the leg of one of the parents, he said.

"They were trying to get it off and another parent was trying to assist in getting it off," he said. "In the process, both were bitten. One was nipped on the fingertip and scratched on the arm, and the other parent was bitten on the arm."

Finally, the squirrel jumped off the mom, did a loop around the classroom, then ran out the door and jumped on an 11-year-old student walking by. She was bitten on the arm as well, Ector said.

San Jose Police spokesman Sgt. Nick Muyo said police received a call around 8:45 a.m. alerting them to the attack. The student and one of the parents were bitten hard enough to draw blood, he said.

They were taken to the hospital by ambulance after being treated by the school's health services, Ector said. The other parent drove herself to the hospital, he added.

After the attack, Ector said, the school went into a lockdown as a safety precaution. They called in an animal expert and have since set live traps around the campus.

"It's not a heavily infested area, it's not like there are squirrel everywhere," he said.

Ector acknowledged that even if a squirrel is caught, it will be hard to verify whether it's the right critter.

"Anything we catch we will turn over to the county for them to check," he said.

It's not the first aggressive squirrel the South Bay has seen lately. Since the fall, there have been problems at Mountain View's Cuesta Park, with at least four people suffering bites.

Animal control officials attributed the aggressive behavior to a preponderance of food being left around the park, which had emboldened the animals. In one case, a 4-year-old boy was bitten after a squirrel attempted to steal his muffin.

Richard, erratic behavior like that is likely to be Rabies. :eek:
Even hungry squirrels will only approach you for handouts but never
act aggressive unless they are sick.