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My mom has been a smoker for a long time. And it's killing her. You would think after seeing what it did to my grandpa, she might quit. But no. And the worst thing? She's a NURSE.
I want her to quit more than anything, but I guess I can't force her, can I? I could flush her cigarettes or make them magically disappear, but she would notice, I would get in trouble, and she'd just go buy more.
I don't know what to do. But thanks to her habit I can't get a bird. :(
Help me, please. :(
I know it may not be this easy for everyone, but my friend did I guilt thing to her grandma and was like I want you to be able to come to my wedding, and see my kids, and went on and on and she ended up quitting!!
I'm quite good at guilt trips. If it wasn't for those, I probably wouldn't be as spoiled as I am. :o Maybe I'll give it a try, thanks.Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetpatata6
You're getting a bird? What kind, and from where?
I was hoping to get one of Logan's baby Cockatiels, but I'm not putting the bird's health at risk thanks to my mom's smoking. :(Quote:
Originally Posted by jenn_librarian
My grandpa smoked for years and finally quit about 5 years ago.My aunt t smokes and my cousins and her husband want her to quit.Maybe you could tell her to try and quit and tell her you really want her to stop smoking for her health.
I'm sorry that you have this problem. When I hear things like this I am always lucky to have a family that doesn't smoke. I feel bad for you and for your mom that its so hard to break away from smoking. It's definatley something that is one of the hardest things for someone to get away from.
I would think that the guilt trip might work if you keep going at it, and start showing her all the things that cigarettes do to your body. Tell her you want her to be around when you are older and have kids.
But I don't know what else you could do, I will pray for your mom that someday she can beat her addiction!:)
My grandpa quit back in 2004, and I'm so proud of him. I can't believe what he went through DIDN'T make my mom quit..Quote:
Originally Posted by Zippy
Well, she doesn't listen to me.. Smoking's more important. :(
Gizzie's spay? No exact date. I haven't received any donations yet.
I wish my mom had never started, but I wasn't around at the time, so.. And yes, I know it's hard, but I would be there to support her, and I want her to see how bad it is for her. SHE'S A NURSE. She knows how bad it is, she's seen people with LUNG CANCER and it still doesn't affect her!Quote:
Originally Posted by Kalei
She knows what they do to the body, but maybe the guilt trip will work. The guilt trip works on almost everything, so maybe it will work on this. That would be the best thing she could ever do for me and herself.
Thanks :).
Bri, my kids, my family, and friends, kept on and on and on until I quit. I felt so bad, exposing them to my bad habit, I couldn't stand to put them through it anymore. I was also coughing my head off most of the time. That, and the smell(among other things), was killing me.
Keep telling your Mom, in a nice way, you would like for her to quit. You would like her to be around a few more years. She will eventually get the message. Good luck!!
Make her a list of reasons why she should quit.
She probably knows them all, but tape it to her mirror, or the fridge, somewhere she will see it every day.
Include the fact that the money she spends on cigarettes could be saved for other things.
Include the fact that you love her.
Include that you know quitting will be hard, but that she's strong, and can do it.
Include all the things you want her around for - graduations, weddings, grandchildren, etc.
Include that you and she will have better skin, and better respiratory function.
Include the fact that she will be able to taste and smell thing better than she has in years once she has quit.
Include things that she, as a nurse knows, but may forget - like it's not always lung cancer, but pancreatic cancer that doesn't have the warning cough, and is silently deadly.
Repeat several times that you love her, and will help and promise to be patient with her during the quitting process ...
I hope this doesn't sound crazy but I remember a comment that someone said to me that I couldn't forget.
"Smoking is socially unacceptable"
That may sound dorky but it hit me in a strange way when I heard it. I think it was more of how self conscious I was starting to get when I was lighting up and no one else was. I'm not a social butterfly by any means but that statement just kinda pushed me along :)
I don't know if this will apply to your situation or not.
My next door naighbors: mom, dad and 22 year old son are chain smokers. 12 year old son is anti smoking. But every time he comes over, he reeks of cigarette smoke. Enough that it makes me cough. He knos and he feels very self conscious, even when he goes to school. He tries to take his clother out of the dryer, put them on and leave the house, just so he won't carry the smell with him. That is a tough thing for a 12 year old to handle. I just hope he doesn't succumb to second hand smoke and become addicted himself, and start smoking in a few year.
I can't go visit them in their home; the smell is in the fabric of the sofa, the uphostered chairs, the curtains.
The mom and dad did quit about 4 years ago, for almost a full year. Then the grandpa died (mom's father). And they both started up again because being with the family for the wake, funeral, tending to each other and to the new widow, well, ALL that extended family are smokers and it got them both started again.
Quitting is NOT easy. Staying away from it is hard after you quit, too.
I'll probably get reamed for this post but it needs to be said.
While I do sympathize with your situation, the fact is as long as you live in your mother's house you're stuck with your situation not getting a bird because of the risk.
You mother is an adult and nurse or not, it's her decision if she wants to smoke or not. As long as it's legal it's her right to do so, and being a nurse she does full well know the risks.
As to how to 'make' her quit, I think that's her decision not yours. While many people here have suggested giving her a 'guilt trip', taping notes around the house, and basically begging her every day, I don't believe any of those are a good idea. Sit down with her just ONCE and explain why you want her to quit, and accept whatever answer she gives you and go on with your life. When you move out of her house you can get a bird and live in a smoke-free home.
Think of it this way...We ALL have our bad habits, whether it's smoking, eating too many candy bars or ice cream, not eating enough fruits/vegetables, or not excersizing enough. How would you feel if everyday someone taped notes up for you, gave you a guilt trip over it, and basically gave you grief everytime you had a candy bar, drank a soda, or sat inside on the sofa on a beautiful summer day?? No one is perfect, but people don't need to be badgered for every thing they do that isn't healthy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Catlady711
Is there a chance that you smoke? I would presume, from your comments. To equate the eating of too many candy bars, or not getting enough exercise with smoking in the presence of a minor child is outrageous, and socially irresponsible. I can't say I have seen too many studies that support a parent eating too many candy bars somehow causes diabetes in the minor child living in the house.
The only thing that needs to be said is that smoking causes cancer. Second hand smoke causes cancer. Smoking has no redeeming values, sets a horrible example for the minor, and is socially unacceptable. Not to mention horribly expensive, and in this situation, difficult to accept since Bri has posted on here before of money issues.
I can't think of a single reason why someone shouldn't be 'badgered' for smoking (or for eating too many candy bars/not exercising, either).
Bri- smoking isn't more important to your mother than you are. But, the addiction is bigger than you are. There is a difference.
I'm worried. You are concerned about the bird's lungs - but what about yours. I used to smoke, and in later years I smoked outside. I think its horribly unfair to expose non-smokers to second hand smoke.
btw - this is a newer attitude - we didn't know about second hand smoke when I was younger and I am guilty of smoking in front of people who didn't want it. I regret that now but this was common at the time. We know better now and it is now no longer good trap other people with your smoke. If you can't get your mother to quit - please plead with her to not smoke in the house with you.
Smoking is an addiction and it can be very difficult to quit. She has to make the decision for herself though.
good luck to you