I've got a bit of a dilemma...

Please don't judge me.

Friday night, we had a party. It consisted of me, my friend Madi, my other friend Anne, her boyfriend Dennis and this guy I've met before named Jay. Jay is 26, Dennis is 21 and the rest of us are 18.

Long story short, there was some drinking, and although I only had two, both Jay and I got a bit tipsy, cuddly and ended up sleeping together. He held my hand a few times, and it was all a blur until I woke up the next morning.

He did nothing to me, it's just the fact that I slept in the same bed with him that bothers me. I don't want him to get the wrong idea (or you guys for that matter) because I don't want to date him. He wants to date me, but he's just not the person for me.

I've never had to turn anyone down before. I don't even know how to go about it without hurting his feelings or making it seem like I was leading him on (which I suppose I was, but I couldn't help it). I'm just so stuck in this dilemma. He's so sweet to me, but I don't feel much when I'm with him. He's not the one I want and I feel like I'm settling for someone until I find someone better. I don't want to have to settle.

Yes, I know, I shouldn't have been drinking. Friday was an awful day. My mother snapped again and called me crying and saying she wasn't going to make it. For a day, we were sure she was going to try and overdose on Tylenol PM. The same night, Butch called me telling me he thought he'd had a heart attack and he needed me to help him get his car started (long story).

Please don't think I'm a bad person. People make mistakes sometimes, right?

You learned an important lesson. Drinking only makes things 1000 times worst, it never solves anything, it does add to your problems however and it sounds as if you have enough already. Don't be dumb.

Tell him that you have to talk. Let him plain simply know that you don't want to lead him on and that you apologize if you already have. Tell him that you just don't have girlfriend type feelings towards him.

If you drag this out he'll only be more hurt later on... hoping that there actually could be something.

G'luck... with everything.

I don't see the dilemma.

Tell the boy you are not interesting in dating him and don't let yourself get into situations like that again.

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Originally Posted by jackie

I don't see the dilemma.

Tell the boy you are not interesting in dating him and don't let yourself get into situations like that again.

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I agree with this. In a situation like this, there shouldn't be too many hard feelings if you just tell him you aren't interested.

hmm.....did you just sleep in the same bed or did you 'sleep with him' sleep with him? Just to clear that up....I agree with the others, I think if you just explain to him that you feel more of a friend vibe instead of more intimate feelings, he will understand. Good luck!

If you can't make 'mistakes' like this when you are young, when can you make them? LOL.

I would tell him what you have told us, that you feel horrible, that you hate to think you might have led him on, that you respect and want him as a friend, blah, blah, blah...

And, limit yourself to one drink in the future...

Megan don't be so hard on yourself, everyone makes mistakes, young and old, just as long as you learn from them,like the others have pointed out, just have a talk with him and tell him straight,so he knows where he stands, and all should be fine, i am sure if he knows you are not into him, he will not want a relationship anyhow, well here's hoping eh. :)

I don't see the dilemma really either. I've been in a similar situation before and you just need to tell him exactly what your feeling/thinking. He's bound to understand. If you want to talk at all, feel free to PM me :)