My dog doesn't like me!

Hello,

I want to thank everyone who helped with my previous issue of my dog peeing on the floor when I come home, the advice worked like gangbusters. We seem totally past it. But now we are to the deeper problem: bonding.

I got Sam (an one year old Lab-Chow mix) from the shelter about two months ago now, and she does not seem to like me at all. When other people pet her, her tail wags, not for me. When we go for walks and she poops outside, I try to praise her, but she ignores me. So often when I look at her she looks afraid and sort of indifferent, but she does not seem happy at all. Because we live alone, my presence is really all she gets consistently, so I want us to be good friends. I love having this pooch here, and want very badly to bond with her, but I am not really sure how to.

Send word,
V.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Pacmanides

Hello,

I want to thank everyone who helped with my previous issue of my dog peeing on the floor when I come home, the advice worked like gangbusters. We seem totally past it. But now we are to the deeper problem: bonding.

I got Sam (an one year old Lab-Chow mix) from the shelter about two months ago now, and she does not seem to like me at all. When other people pet her, her tail wags, not for me. When we go for walks and she poops outside, I try to praise her, but she ignores me. So often when I look at her she looks afraid and sort of indifferent, but she does not seem happy at all. Because we live alone, my presence is really all she gets consistently, so I want us to be good friends. I love having this pooch here, and want very badly to bond with her, but I am not really sure how to.

Send word,
V.

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Sometimes it takes time- serious time. It took femka about 2 months too. And you have to remember- you just stopped this peeing on the floor on your arrival so really your time together has just started as far as trust. Just keep doing what we posted before, and give her some time.
Femka would not even come to my husband for a month- and now as anyone can see, she actually prefers him- getting down right silly when he comes home.. Rescues need time. She just learned you were not a monster when you came home- that may sound bizarre- but she didnt trust you- and just started too. Just keep on the path, eyes forward and she will come around.
When femka came around was when we had to put her on daily medication for thyroid, but the times the medication was given was when my husband got home ( alias the 'magic cheese" time..) Maybe you could add that one.. ( not the medication but the magic cheese time so to speak... Just not when you first come home or before you leave- its needs to be hours from either so she doesnt associate with something stressful. LIke watching tv at night " you want magic cheese??" at first she will look at you like you have lost your mind- uh huh- I give it a few days before she figures that one out.... lol.. And she knows you did something special for her..

Pacmanides,

Hey you just rescued this poor baby from a shelter. She will needs time like Michelle said. I work with many rescues all the time. Unfortunately you really don't know thier background. Was this pet a piece of furniture?, was it abused?, you don't know. So now this dog just doesn't want the basics ( it might only had the basics) this dog wants love!!!!!!!!! Yes Females can be a little stubborn but having a happy voice around the dog at all times can help, showing her your unconditional love to make her comfortable and happy. Special treats for no reason, extra play time everyday. Make her feel like part of the family. Want to watch tv? Have her sit with you and give her lots of petting and massaging so she knows "hey this person cares!"

Its real hard to connect to new people if this dog doesn't know what the "pack" is like. So its now your job to give her the pack environment. Special walks, go to a dog park to see how she responds. Just stay focused and resocialize this baby and bring back her happiness. She will respond eventially.
Hope some of this helps, I'm sure you will get many responses and help on this thread.

In talking with another person on aim, I am also reminded of one of my shepherds that came as a rescue to my house. This dog the owner father had died, and the mother couldnt care for the dog. The dog was in such deep depression- having lost all cue on life with the death of her owner. She was so depressed we had to end up tube feeding her for a week as she almost died she would not eat- I mean NOTHING.. She could not understand why she was at my house, where was her dad, and she was going to wait for him.
It took months before she freely ate, and about 4 months before she actually started to play. You just never know as stated above- . BTW_ most rescues come to a foster then placed, but her reaction to being moved was so severe, she lived out her life with me as just a pet..

It took dog school and many, many months before I knew that my Sasha was actually going to be my Sasha. I woke up one morning and opened my eyes. There, nose to nose with me, was Sasha. I asked her how the heck she got there without waking me. She was laying beside me in the bed with her nose right on mine looking me right in the eyes. I knew then that I'd won her over. That was 11 years ago. She's still my baby. Lots of love will work wonders. When you're watching TV, talk to Sam. Say nice, loving things. It's all tone of voice. Give treats now and then, for no reason. Good luck. Have patience this poor doggie needs to learn that you're ok.

How do you feel about this dog? Do you feel comfortable enough to
just try playing a game with the dog. I would suggest that you just give
yourself time. Maybe take the dog for training lessons. When you both are
focusing on learning a class lesson, instead of watching each other for
reactions.

Every dog is different. Just keep taking care of her and she will get it. then when you least expect it, she will want to be everywhere you are.

Here's what happened with my dogs (sorry it's so long)
We got Star as a small puppy, and she seemed so much more bonded to my son & my husband. For years I felt she treated me like "the maid". She saw me as the person who took care of feeding, poop scooping, and walks. She got "big affection" from everyone else. Then I got another puppy who adored me from day 1 - I loved that girl beyond belief! But she was hit by a car at only 3 yrs. After that, my older dog started to be my buddy. And while she may still show more tail wagging & gives kisses to anybody in the world but me, we are very bonded. I turn around and there she is. I walk out of the room and suddenly she's dropping a toy at my feet. She stands and stares at me alot. Apparently she telecommunicates, LOL! She's just a more aloof dog than my others have been, but I love her so & wouldn't trade her for the world.

So hang in there. Obedience classes would be a good activity for both of you. A pro can help you learn to communicate with each other better. And, it's fun! Give her a little time, love works wonders!

Chow's are notorious for the lack of expression. It's what makes them good hunters and protectors.

Perhaps this poor guy was never given attention by his owner and the only attention he received was from visitors.

As everyone has said time will heal. Treats and hand feeding are usually the best way to bond. I know it's a big no-no but I have went as far to let a feral cat eat off my plate in order to form a bond.

My boyfriend's family has a chow, Susie. Susie is not very expressive at all,like shoneypaws said. She will show pleasure at getting affection, but it took her a long time to warm up to certain members of the family. Hopefully your Sam is just taking time to warm up to you too. :)

I'd give it some time. I'm sure she'll come around :)

We got Kaedyn a little over three years ago and honest to god, it wasn't until we were past our second year together that I started earning his respect. Now that we're into our third year, we're starting to bond and get past just mutual respect. I found that after I started taking the dogs to obedience classes, the doggy pool and agility classes.. Kaedyn and I started sharing a connection similar to the one Kai and I share.

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Originally Posted by CathyBogart

My boyfriend's family has a chow, Susie. Susie is not very expressive at all,like shoneypaws said. She will show pleasure at getting affection, but it took her a long time to warm up to certain members of the family. Hopefully your Sam is just taking time to warm up to you too. :)

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Good point.. I have trained a few chows, but never owned one.. hmmmm.. I still think there hasnt been enough time yet. ... hmmmmmm..

About 5 years ago I "fostered" a chow mix. She was found in the woods with her second set of pups and rescued. She was very fearful, but submissive. I thought this dog was never going to enjoy being with a family.

Well, she's still with me, no longer a foster and finally has come out of her shell. It took a nearly a year to get her to play with the other dogs and and the toys. She still doesn't seem to need a lot of human attention, but will come to me occasionally to be petted.

Hang in there; he'll come around.

I know someone with a lab/chow mix. They have a great bond, and he's very responsive to her. He was a shelter dog and had been there over 3 months. Just give it some patience and love.It took her a few months as well.

I rescue dogs just like you do. But it seems to me that you may be dealing with a common feeling I hear of a lot in the dog rescue circles. Unless you have the one dog that is going to cure cancer, you are having common feelings. Don't forget that, it’s a dog. Just because it’s a rescue animal it doesn't really know this. The dog also will not respond to reasoning like a human will, so you have to be careful that you’re not trying to "humanize" her to much. Because no matter how hard you try, it won't work. All that will happen is she will walk all over you and become unmanageable. Plus to add to it you have a Chow Chow mix, which is a bully breed like mine is. You need to be the alpha of the house and when you do; the rest will fall into place. I hope this helps.