2 of my 5 cats no longer getting along

2 of my cats that used to get along, no longer do. the female was swatting at the male whenever he tried to touch noses or groom her, and one day I guess he decided he'd had enough. I didn't see what exactly happened this particular day, but she ran out of the room to the living room, and sat against the couch by my feet, and kept trying to lean back more and more as he came closer. he has always been very mild and sweet acting, but this day he walked out like a lion! I was shocked to see him do that slow, lion walk. looking straight at her. then he got to where she was and jumped on her. I separated them then. my vet says she doesn't like the multi cat household, but its a small 2 bedroom house, less than 1000 sq.feet and not much I can do to separate them. I give her her own space as much as I can and alot of individual attention. and I use feliway. the male is younger and the female used to protect him form another cat (thats no longer in the same house) when he was a kitten. after several months since this happened, she is still scared of him, and sometimes tries to groom him but he just gives her mean looks and she backs off and leaves the room.

any advice?

she's about a year older than he is, he is 4 years old, and a very big cat. I'm wondering if he has just realized his size? do they understand that? or he has just matured enough to not be scared of her any longer? he seems to be healthy but I am bringing him to the vet this month, he is over due for his annual.

The cat hierarchy changes with time as the kitten grows up. That may be what this is; they are just resettling the order of things. Is either one an alpha / dominant one? You can tell by head size. An alpha male has a much larger head than most cats. Ditto an alpha female.

You say she is still scared of him, but then say she approaches him to groom. Well, then she isn't too afraid of him, is she? If she backs off when he looks at her, that is good. They understand each other and no fighting involved. As long as they aren't into bloody battles, I would wait and see if they work things out between them. they just may not be cuddling buddies for now.

yes she is still scared of him, not cowaring in the corner but she groomed him very cautiously, like trying to make up with him or make him like her. and left the room as soon as he looked at her. she had always been the boss of all the cats so this is different behavior for her. it's hard to say about the alpha cat with them. she still seems to be alpha to 2 of the cats, one is her littermate (they always get along, it has just always been that way with them, and they are still close)and the other one was a kitten the same time the one that turned mean was a kitten. the 3rd female seems to be on the same level as her, they seem to be rivals for attention, but neither one is above or below the other. as for the one that turned on her, he is a big cat, and does have a big head so does that make him an alpha cat? the funny thing is, he is tame with his brother and the other 2 girls. so who knows. he is only mean to the one and that is I think because she was mean to him one too many times and he got tired of it. she does stay away from him and the other except her littermate as much as possible because she doesn't like the multi cat house I guess.

I also wonder about this alpha cat thing, about the head size, what if a litter of kittens are the same size, then how do they determine who is alpha?

Freedom I see you also have 7 cats, like me. 2 live with my mom. anyway I just read my post , I guess I should give their names so its less confusing.

at my house, the 3 females are Daisy, Emily and Rose. The males are Oreo (he's black and white) and Snickers. (guess I was hungry when I named them lol!)

Oreo and Snickers were kittens together. Emily and Daisy are littermates and are the ones that protected the kittens from another cat not living with me now. Emily and Rose have always been equal, sometimes Emily would chase Rose away other times Rose would chase her away, rivals for attention. it was never a big deal, the females usually all get along, which I always thougth odd because I thought females are more territorial.
after the male kittens grew up, Emily would be bossy or mean with them if they went around her for whatever reason. Snickers is still scared of her and will keep his distance, but Oreo is the one that got mad that time. He is tame with all the other cats, he will play with his brother sometimes and they are still close like Daisy and Emily. Rose and Oreo are also close. If I could divide them, if I had a bigger house or 2 stories, I would put Emily and Daisy together and then Rose, Snickers and Oreo together.

I can relate! My male cat, 10 years old, has begun attacking my youngest cat (five years old). I had four cats and just recently put down the oldest, she was 22 years old. Since then, he has begun attacking her to the point of real aggression. She gets trapped in the bathrooms, he corners her then attacks.
If I am home when this happens I spray him with a water gun however the behavior hasn't stopped.
Any input would be greatly appreciated! :confused:

I'd say your male cat is taking over from the one you lost recently - and maybe going a bit overboard showing who the new "boss" is.

Try talking to your vet...and maybe some Feliway would help. It has cat pheromones in it, the ones cats give off when they rub their heads up against something.

He could be grieving too...were he and your 22-year-old close?

Good luck.

Jack(6) likes to stalk and attack Dusty(16) and has for some time now. :( Dusty is rather cranky about other cats even being near her and I think that just encourages the attacks. Recently Cami(2) has taken to attacking her as well, but not the stalking. Bear(4) sometimes bugs Dusty, but he's usually more of an annoyance than a real threat. Pooky(4) is a good boy, he doesn't bother anyone, and he's the only cat that Dusty will let lay with her in the Catnapper. :cool:

I have never found a really good solution to the attacks, other than hollaring NO when I see Jack stalking, and if someone is persistent in attacking Dusty, I will take the offender to a separate room by themselves for 15 minutes, like a time out, and for a few days there is peace.

Good luck with your kitties.

YES! Time outs! I had forgotten I used to have to do that sometimes too. As you say, put one in the bedroom and close the door. I would set the timer in the kitchen because I would get busy and forget someone was locked away cooling off! That and water squirt bottles have helped.

When I had a few young ones at the same time, they would all start dashing around and things went flying - vases, picture frames. Then the time outs were really for ME, to calm down, clean up, etc. :D

Thank you for your input. My male cat, Clark, was not especially close to my old gal Wyatt. As she was 12 when I adopted both Clark and Savannah, she really could have cared less about the two of them.

I did inherit my youngest cat, Ellen, from a ranch. She was a little wild when she first came indoors and may have terrorized Clark and Savannah but certainly not the old lady.

Thank you for your input regarding a new addition to the family. I'll wait it out and see how things go maybe a bigger water gun will stop him from assaulting her.

Thanks again.