A Very Sad Thing

Many of you know that I work at our local Council on Aging, and thus, I work with seniors. The majority of seniors that we work with are very poor, and many have no family in town. My job is to help raise money for the agency, and to do the marketing and PR. I do not get to work one on one with the seniors as most of our other employees do. However, several years ago, around Thanksgiving, one of our seniors fell and was found by our transportation director. The senior had broken her back, and ended up in a long term care facility. Her only family was a brother living in another state. So I would go visit her, taking her the things she needed. And another staff member and I took turns going to her house to check on it and to take in the mail. She was finally released to come home, and she and I stayed in touch with one another. I helped her with her Medicare D, and I would go over bills for her when she had concerns or questions. She always fed the stray cat that hung out on her porch. She often had little money to feed herself, but the cat always had something to eat! What I am trying to say is not that I need praise for what I did for her, but that she and I built a bond and a friendship. I last saw her on August 7, and she wasn't feeling well. Our In-Home Services Director had been trying to reach her all week to tell her that her house was chosen for the United Way Day of Caring and that a crew would be out to do some work next week. When I found out yesterday that she had not been able to reach her, I got a very bad feeling. Sadly, she was found dead in her home yesterday afternoon. I feel so sad that she died all alone, and that she layed there for, well, no one really knows for how long. I am just heartbroken and I feel so bad for her. I couldn't sleep last night, as I kept thinking about her. I doubt that there will even be a memorial for her, as she had no family in town, and very few friends. Please, will you say a prayer for my friend, Maria? I will miss her greatly.

Prayers for Maria.

I hope you can have a memorial where you work...and maybe raise some funds for the kitties. Were they strays?

Thank you for making such a huge difference in this woman's life.

It would be nice if the United Way told her story anyway. I hope they will?

HUGS to you, Donna.

I'm sorry for your tragic loss. At least you and Maria bonded. It was probably one of the most treasured relationships she had. It's sad that she died alone in her apartment. The same thing happened to my Dad (my eyes are welling up as I type) 9 years ago. I still have nightmares about it.

I think a memorial for her would be most appropriate. I hope that someone will adopt her furbaby. He certainly deserves it.

Call the newspapers and tv stations about her. Let them know that you're trying to raise funds for her orphaned kitty. The media is a powerful thing, Donna and can work wonders.

BIG ((((((((HUGS)))))))) to you. :(

I'm so sorry for the loss of Maria. I will say a prayer for her.

Prayers for your friend Maria and a big hug for you too

No one dies alone....there are always angels around them to guide them home. What a wonderful thing you did for her and I pray that if ever I'm in that situation, someone like you will come along out of the heavens to help me out.

RIP Maria. You were loved.

I did not work in a home, but I did take care of an elderly lady whom everyone assumed had no family here. I took her everywhere she needed to go, did errands for her when she needed. She was a mean lady, very demanding of my time, but I did what I could for her and loved her anyway.
She had broken her wrist and was having in home therapy when one Sat. monring the therapist called and told me he found her on the floor, so I rushed over and the EMT's were there. She was concious, but really out of it, she had had a heart attack. Thank goodness mom was home off the river, because I would have just lost it having to deal with all that alone. I got a hold of her sister that lived in another state and she came, but didn't stay long. One day I went to the hospital and she was gone, not a word to anyone, just up and left.
She went from a nursing home to the hospital about every two weeks, sometimes being treated very poorly. She even told me one time when I went to visit her that this was all my fault and I just cried and left and didn't go see her for a couple of days. I went to see her everyday after that, no matter where she was. The poor woman was deaf and she would push the call button for a nurse and no one would ever come because she couldn't hear them when they called back. I finally had to get ugly and tell them she was deaf and that when she pused the button, they just needed to come.
I even went to see her the day after I had surgery myself, called my mom to come get me and take me. This went on from July-Oct.when she died. When I started trying to make arrangements, because her sister wouldn't come do it, a nephew that I never knew about showed up and took over. He lived here in the same town all that time, where was he when I was taking care of her all that time. Then he had the nerve to tell me if there was anyting I wanted from her hosue thathe would let me in to get it. I had had keys to her house for months and when he showed up, he changed the locks. I wanted to tell him that if Iwanted to steal anything, I would've done it already and no one would've ever known about it. What really hurt was that, nor her sister ever thanked me for taking care of her and I had done so for over a year. That's ok though, they'll get their's in the end and I'll get mine.
Donna you did a great thing and you will be rewarded one day. God Bless You!!!,

I'm so sorry that you lost your friend Maria in such sad circumstances, but I'll bet she thanked her lucky stars for you and all that you did for her. Please be easy on yourself, you couldn't have been there 24 hours a day.

Rest in peace, Maria.

I think that when we brighten up a lonesome seniors soul, you win a star in heaven. No one should be alone in their senior years. I also befriended a senior that was in a nursing home that was dying of cancer and she knew it. She was terrified of death and I use to talk to her and tell her about my beliefs about death and that it is not the end, but simply the soul returning "home" and how it was nothing to fear but to welcome with open arms. We prayed together and I would read to her every day from the bible, even if I thought she was asleep.

I think I helped her loose her fear of dying and helped her accept it rather than fight it. She did die peacefully in her sleep but I was on the boat and not there. Her daughter who could not face her pending death was there for her in the end and was with her when she died.

You have a star in heaven for befriending her when she needed a friend. God don't forget.

Donna, you have a gentle, loving heart. Thank you for being there for Maria. She is going to make sure you get extra jewels in your heavely crown, for sure. :)

Logan

Thank you all for your support. Your words of encouragement are very comforting. It has been a rough day here at work, as I have been thinking of Maria all day.

Slick, I appreciate what you said about no one dying alone as the angels are there! When I was younger, my Grandfather had a heart attack at our house on Christmas Eve. When I went to see him in the hospital, he told me that he had died. I told him he was alive, and he then explained that during the attack, the angels were with him, and said, "Hello Mr. ______, and welcome to Heaven." But it wasn't his time. He died a few months after that. I had forgotten about that, until you reminded me Slick. Thank you.

Rie Rie.... what a touching story of your helping the elderly person. And how sad, but all too often true that once she died, a relative shows up! We see and hear about that here. Often, the children of our staff members help with fundraisers, and with the many extra things that we all do for our seniors on our own time.... and we know that we are instilling in the children the need to respect and care for our elders. They may be mean and demanding, but it is usually because they are hurting! They may not have a lot to say, but it is usually because they are not used to having people around and have forgotten how to carry on a conversation! Or it could be the opposite. They may be so lonely that they talk incessantly.

Again, thank you all for your kind comments. I am going to check on the kitty tonight. I believe it actually belongs to a neighbor, but I will ask if the kitty needs to be re-homed. Of course, I will go by with a can of food!

Donna

God bless you for taking care of Maria in her final days.
It was her time to go, and she is not alone in Heaven.
When my granny died, I was very sad, but I keep her in my heart and feel she is always with me. Mostly I think of her spirit and it fills me with joy. Though there are times I'd love to have her here to talk to.