new puppy question

Hi everyone.
I have a question about crate-training a puppy. :)
My parents just got a Golden Retriever puppy yesterday: a male, and his name is Sam (or Sammy).
He is sooooo cute and sweet. Took quite a few pics, and will post some later this week when I get my film back. ;)

My question is:
What is the correct way to crate-train a puppy? :confused:
They have instructions they got off the internet. These instructions say to put him in there, and keep him in there even when he cries. :(
He sleeps on a pillow next to the bed, and has done great that way. He also has a big cedar-filled pillow in the living room, and he loves that too.
He just does not like that crate!
My Mom feels really bad about his crying, and wants to let him out, but these instructions say not to do it until he gets used to it and stops crying.
My parents do not intend on using the crate real often: for the most part he will be out of the crate and with them. They just want to use it part time.
We are all concerned about over-use of the crate, and I know there are differing opinions about how to use a crate and how often to use it. :confused:
It just seems right now that it would be too traumatic for the little guy, having just been taken away from his siblings and momma. But then, maybe I am wrong.
Any advice or opinions would be great!
:)

We only crate ours if we are going to be gone, and then not all of them have to go into a crate. My parent's dog sleeps in his crate and finds it a source of comfort...Just don't make it a punishment, is the only advice I can offer.

We debated whether or not to crate train Eli when we brought him home at 8.5 weeks old, and we decided to do a sort of "modified" version of what many people recommend. Most crate-trainers say that it's both to housebreak a puppy as well as to keep a dog safely contained when you're gone. But since our other dog Kobie was totally housebroken and was allowed to come and go during the day through the doggy door, we didn't ever imagine that we'd keep either Eli or Kobie in a crate during the day. (We mostly work at home anyway and aren't gone for long periods.) We mainly wanted to use a crate to housebreak Eli--that is, to have a secure, small place for him to sleep at night which would be something he wouldn't want to soil.

It worked very well for that purpose (he never messed up his bedding inside the crate), but he HATED it! Even putting it right next to our bed at night didn't help; he'd howl and cry himself to sleep. But we were firm about not giving in to the cries, and by about 15 weeks he was housebroken. We ditched the crate then, and trusted him to get up and go outside through the doggy door whenever he needed to, even at night. Worked great!

My long-winded point: I think you can successfully do a part-time crate training deal, if only for the help it provides with housebreaking (and with destructive behaviors, if any). If you keep it as positive as possible and put the crate where the pup can still be with everyone, he may even want to use it as a personal space for many years. (Or not!) I think it's still a good idea for any dog to at least ACCEPT a crate for short periods (like for travel, vet visits, etc.) but I don't believe in forcing it on a dog that hates being cooped up, no matter how many enticing toys you throw in there... :D