Life is too short...

After receiving the 2 boxes of pictures from my brother, it made me realize that life is WAAAAAAAAAAAY too short.

I have an uncle that the rest of my family had basically disowned because of some of his actions and what "I've been told" he did. Anytime a member of my family died, he always wanted to know if the deceased left him anything. When my Nanny (his mother) was in the hospital, "I was told" by my aunts that he called and said that IF she gets worse, to call him and he'd fly in from New Mexico. While I know this is tacky and it WAS his mother, life goes on.

He is now 82 years old and I hadn't spoken to him in over 30 years! :eek:

I "googled" his name because I had no idea where he was located except in Colorado. I found his phone number and called him. We spoke on the phone for an hour sort of catching up. I told him about the pictures and said I wanted to send him some of them. He was SO elated!!! I know my cousins and brother would be furious at me because of the whole situation. But I don't care. These pictures are of my 82 year old uncle as a baby on the beach with my great-grandfather!!! :eek: Plus I have TONS of pictures of when he and his wife came to visit my aunt in 1973, as well as old pictures dating back to the early 1900's, and a formal portrait of my grandfather (his Dad) in his navy uniform. He said he couldn't understand why he was treated so badly. I didn't tell him what I knew. I just told him that the treatment was our family's way of the ultimate "screw you" from the hereafter.

My brother got my aunt's entire estate (worth over a million dollars) as well as furs (UGH!!!!!! :mad: ) car, etc. and my cousins got her jewelry (some of which was my mother's that I requested and never got), and me and my uncle got.....

SQUAT

I told him life was too short to hold a grudge and family is very important. He agreed. I said that I knew these pictures would mean alot to him as he has absolutely nothing to remember his life. I told him I enjoyed talking to him and that I would definitely keep in touch and would call him when I sent out the pictures.

What I'm trying to say here is...

Tell your family you love them. Share the wealth (not money or valuable possessions) but in pictures. It's something that you can hand down to your children, your grandchildren, etc. He will now have that.

Sorry to ramble, but I really feel this is important. It's never too late to have a happy childhood.

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Originally Posted by moosmom

After receiving the 2 boxes of pictures from my brother, it made me realize that life is WAAAAAAAAAAAY too short.

I have an uncle that the rest of my family had basically disowned because of some of his actions and what "I've been told" he did. Anytime a member of my family died, he always wanted to know if the deceased left him anything. When my Nanny (his mother) was in the hospital, "I was told" by my aunts that he called and said that IF she gets worse, to call him and he'd fly in from New Mexico. While I know this is tacky and it WAS his mother, life goes on.

He is now 82 years old and I hadn't spoken to him in over 30 years! :eek:

I "googled" his name because I had no idea where he was located except in Colorado. I found his phone number and called him. We spoke on the phone for an hour sort of catching up. I told him about the pictures and said I wanted to send him some of them. He was SO elated!!! I know my cousins and brother would be furious at me because of the whole situation. But I don't care. These pictures are of my 82 year old uncle as a baby on the beach with my great-grandfather!!! :eek: Plus I have TONS of pictures of when he and his wife came to visit my aunt in 1973, as well as old pictures dating back to the early 1900's, and a formal portrait of my grandfather (his Dad) in his navy uniform. He said he couldn't understand why he was treated so badly. I didn't tell him what I knew. I just told him that the treatment was our family's way of the ultimate "screw you" from the hereafter.

My brother got my aunt's entire estate (worth over a million dollars) as well as furs (UGH!!!!!! :mad: ) car, etc. and my cousins got her jewelry (some of which was my mother's that I requested and never got), and me and my uncle got.....

SQUAT

I told him life was too short to hold a grudge and family is very important. He agreed. I said that I knew these pictures would mean alot to him as he has absolutely nothing to remember his life. I told him I enjoyed talking to him and that I would definitely keep in touch and would call him when I sent out the pictures.

What I'm trying to say here is...

Tell your family you love them. Share the wealth (not money or valuable possessions) but in pictures. It's something that you can hand down to your children, your grandchildren, etc. He will now have that.

Sorry to ramble, but I really feel this is important. It's never too late to have a happy childhood.

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Donna, that was the most unselfish and the most beautiful thing you could have done for your uncle! Especially after you and he got the shaft (and nothing else) from the rest of your family. I hope you can keep in touch with him, he sounds like a good person.

What an important reminder!! I am glad you and your uncle was able to catch up and have a good conversation!

I LOOOVE LOOKING AT PICTURES!! I still have some of my ex-husbands family and the trips we took that I still like to look at and probably always will.

One thanksgiving I was at my grandparents house and he had this big box of old pictures... I didnt' know most of the people in them.. but I could have looked at them all day long!!

I bet your uncle is really giong to enjoy the pictures you send him!! :)

That was so sweet of you Donna!

Thank you Donna for being kind to your Uncle. It might be very true........he might have no idea what he has done to alienate his family. I am certain that you made him VERY happy and this will be a blessing for you, as well.

In my family, I end up with the old pictures, and my sister ends up with all the sheet music!

I tend to be the communicator in the extended family - for example, there's one cousin (from what I called the 'twisted' branch of the family tree) that only ever kept in touch with my mother. Since she died, I kind of inherited him - he also sometime's sees Lady's Human on AOL, but his communication is very spotty. His sister once told me that, if it were possible, she would have "divorced" her brothers, which to me is very sad.

When we bought this house from my Great Aunt, and I started cleaning it out, I found lots of pictures - my great-grandmother's photo album, including pictures of her mother and sister, etc. One of the albums I found I spent a weekend scanning in, and brought a printout to my Great Uncle's funeral for his son. He immediately started flipping through, identifying people for me, and came across a picture of his own father as a boy in his baseball uniform and said "Oh my word! I didn't know Dad played catcher as a kid! I did, too! I never knew that!" Moments like that are priceless.

Pictures and papers - more important than $$ any day.

6 years ago, after my Aunt Doris died, I got a couple of boxes, full of paper and pictures. Going through one of them I found grocery store receipts, photos, newspaper articles - and the the letter. A letter written to my aunt by her brother - my father.

You have no idea what this meant to me. My father died when I was only 5. At the time I found the letter he had been gone 55 years. I barely remember him, and had never seen his handwriting. I didn't know he had such a sense of humor - and he was dying from a brain tumor. I sat and cried; I'm crying now.

You did good, Donna. Your uncle is going to be so very happy to go through those memories.

God Bless you for your kindness. I'm a hard person to move to tears...(really!) and your story almost had me teary-eyed (It would have but hubby and a friend are in here talking and they'd think I was nuts lol)

You've gained good karma points my friend. :D

A very moving post - well done you!

I spoke to my uncle again last night and I learned SOOOOO much about my family from him that I never knew. He's been tracing the geneology in our family and found out that the Vadakin family (my Mom's maiden name) is originally from Ohio! My grandfather "Bumpy" was raised by his stepmother (actually his aunt) because his mother died giving birth to him and his Dad ended up marrying Bumpy's aunt. My grandfather also had an older brother named John :eek: Never knew THAT either!!! I also found out my great-grandfather was deaf and so was a distant cousin (connected with MY hearing problem perhaps??).

He gave me my cousin's (his daughter) phone number and she and I talked for a good hour. She said I had no idea what this meant to her father AND to her and her 3 brothers because they had absolutely NOTHING to remember anyone in the family. Her son is going to West Point in the fall (they live in New Mexico) and I told her I would LOVE to try and get together with her. We're definitely making plans for sometime in the future. I haven't seen her since she and I were 13!!! :eek:

Karen,

Look up disfunctional in the dictionary and you'll find my family portrait next to it!!! :p :p

It was a real experience last night and I am SOOO glad I did what I did. This weekend my daughter and I are going through the entire 2 boxes of pictures and sort them out. Should be interesting. At least now she'll get to see what my Mom looked like later in her life.

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Originally Posted by moosmom

I haven't seen her since she and I were 13!!! :eek:

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That will be fun!!

I wish I could be there when your uncle looks at the pictures... I bet he is really going to enjoy them!!! :D

Sara,

Me too! I'm just so glad I called. Maryanne and I were really into our hair when we were 13. I had a "fall" (sort of a mini-wig) that attaches to your real hair. Well, then she got one. Even my uncle said he remembers all the fuss we made about it and having long hair.

When I talked to her last night, the first thing I asked her was whether her hair was long or short. She burst out laughing! We were like 2 teenagers on the phone again, giggling and going and on. It was wonderful!

I slept very well last night. :D

Donna, that's just so great. It's wonderful to find out things you never knew, and make connections with family members you never met.
Im sure you've made your uncle so happy in his elderly years. I hope you have a great time meeting up with your family. Good luck ;)

Donna, I have LES here, as I read this post! How wonderful of you to get in touch with your Uncle and now your cousin! I would think that would be some great therapy for you, in a sense!

I would like to add also, since I work with seniors every day.... that EVERYONE has a story, be it good or bad! And I am finding it more and more important that the "story" be in writing so that it is not lost. How wonderful that your family can have the pictures, and some great memories also! Please, take the time to write it down. I am working (not as diligently as I should) on my Father's family tree, and trying to get stories from my Dad about his family. He was an only child, and I am somewhat unclear about the ancestry. I would like to have that commited to paper and in pictures.

Great work Donna! Have fun reminiscing with your cousin, and I am sure the visit will be WONDERFUL!