Sad and lonely...

Sigh...

I'm sitting here...alone (well not really, there a lot of critters of the 4 legged variety hanging out, asleep mostly lol) eating lunch. I'm depressed because over the past couple of months, Ive spent nearly 24/7 with John (I worked with him for a while, too) I have no friends...not of my own anyhow. They all want to see John and want not much to do with me. I'm a girl, so his guy friends don't like hanging out with me and Im too much of a tomboy for girls to really like me. John got a new job and I had to quit because I wasnt getting enough hours to justify the commute (with gas prices being so high). I'm looking for another job now, but Im trying to find something I like (Jumping into jobs out of desperation has gotten me into lots of trouble) and it takes time. John works up to 10 hours a day, day or night and sometimes weekends (he's working for a general contractor) so I have lots of time alone. Ive only been doing this for two days and it has me practically in tears. I wish I had someone to even talk to. Im really shy and meeting new people is hard. I was thinking about voulenteering somewhere, just to get out of the house. John is happy as a clam working again in a field he likes and I don't want to seem like Im holding him back at all.

Am I beeing needy? I've been depressed a lot lately (lots of things going on with family). John says I should be happy to have a break, being since I was the one working for a long long while. Sigh...

I just needed to vent I guess. I haven't been alone for a long time.

Aww, *hugs* If you ever need someone to talk to I'm online alot, and I'm always here by PM. I don't think you're being needy. You just like having companionship.

Are you depressed? Are you needy? Questions best left to those that know you well, I suppose. I did want to comment on one aspect of your vent.

I like people. Men, women, those whose genders are not immediately known... I like them. I always look askance at someone (and, it is usually a female...) that shuts out 50% of the human race, for, IMO, no good reason. Too much of a tomboy? Whatever does that mean? I played competitive sports my entire life, well, up until I graduated college. I had more cleats and sports apparel than I did make-up and dolls. I could out squat most of my male friends, and I benched my weight, easily. But, somehow, that never seemed to equate to not having female friends.

I have found, hands down, when things get tough, my woman friends have been my rocks.

My advice? Stop looking to one person (man, woman or child) to be everything to you, and cultivate friendships. That way, when things get lonely in one area (which is probably a temporary thing, anyhow), you don't get all stressed out, and bogged down by it. You have others to lift your spirits.

Just my humble opinion.

I think that volunteering is a great idea, and you can really meet people that way. I also wanted to say that there's nothing wrong with the way you feel - everyone is different and nobody will feel the same way in certain situations. I imagine I would feel the same as you - sounds to me like you feel sort of empty now. If you ever need to talk I'm just a PM away :)

I would suggest that while you are trying to find another job that you also try to find something that you can volunteer for. I work at our local Council on Aging, and there are so many lonely seniors in today's world that I think you would find it fun and fulfilling to do some volunteer work with them. Also, many day care centers would absolutely LOVE someone to call and say they would like to volunteer. Talk about a fulfilling position (although no money!)!!!! And unconditional love!

I, too, was without a job for a while, am a little shy, and had virtually no friends. I found it helpful to just get out and DO something, even if it was to apply for jobs. I was able to talk to people and get fresh air! Sometimes it is hard to drag yourself out of the house, but believe me, it will be worth it!

Keep the faith that a job will come along. You never know, a volunteer position could suddenly become a paying position! That's what happened to me!

DJ,

Volunteering, especially at an animal shelter, is a great way to meet people. It also allows you to do what you like best, shmooze with animals and give them the love and attention they so desperately need.

I'm sorry you're feeling so sad and lonely. It's difficult when you are in a city you don't really know anyone. I'll be home after work around 10:30 if you want to chat via IM.

(((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))) to you honey!

You have friends here!

A good book is always a nice way to pass alone time. Is there a library at which you could volunteer? Not only will that allow you to meet people and maybe find a friend, browsing the periodicals for jobs can't hurt!

:) :) Hey your not alone = you have all of us & the critters... I love the idea of going to the library & or park.. Volenteer work is good.. Always remember if one door closes there will always be another better one open..

Thanks guys! I guess why I feel so lonely is because I went away for a year to college back in 2000 and when I came back everyone I knew was gone. I suddenly knew no one in a town I grew up in! It was, and still is a very wierd experence. All of my girl friends moved away, and I havent really been able to find any one else outside of my jobs since. I realize how important it is to have other types of relationships, other than my husband, and mostly I think thats why Im feeling kind of sad about things. I want to have friends and stuff but like I said, I'm shy about people. Im going down to the shelter tomorow to see if they need voulenteers. I might go to the humane society too to see.

I feel for you. I really do. I'm the same way. I really dont have any friends of any sort. I wish I had something supportive to say, but I don't really know what to say. I'm here if you every want someone to talk to though :)

DJ, call me up on MSN Messenger! I;d like to hear about the blue pill! P.S. that festiva parts car is still at that junkyard near me!

DJ

I read somewhere about two years ago about how hard it is for adult women to make friends. Usually after they leave home or college, for some reason it's difficult to find people that you can really call FRIENDS.

I found this to be true for myself...until...I volunteered for a cat rescue. Now I know people that I can truly call friends and they are all types of people, male and female, single and married, children and no children.

It's great. Try it!

And, of course, you always have PT friends. ;)

I'd have to say I'm really shy around people I don't know. I usually have no idea what to say. That said I've found if you participate in something you enjoy (i.e. volunteering) you meet people who have the same interests which acts as an amazing ice breaker. If you ever just need to talk feel free to PM me.

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Originally Posted by AbbyMom

I read somewhere about two years ago about how hard it is for adult women to make friends. Usually after they leave home or college, for some reason it's difficult to find people that you can really call FRIENDS.

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I read that, too! And, it is hard. And, it isn't personal to you. You seem to have a huge heart, a sense of humor, and obviously, a way with animals. Things will come around for you. Give it some time, and get on out there! ;)

What are you talking about no freinds you have everyone on PT!!!:D

I think if your volunteered at like a shelter or something you'd be able to meet people that have the same interest as you and then become freinds with them