Teeny little microstudy for class

I'm trying to get a well rounded group for answers, not just college students. The class is biosociological implications of aging. I just have to ask a few questions about how people felt and such after reading these vignettes. If anybody has time to answer it would be much appreciated.

1) A 64-year-old woman had a major stroke 8 months ago causing paralysis of her right side. She is now unable to get out of bed and into her wheelchair or onto the toilet without physical assistance. Her 71-year-old husband finds it very difficult to do this for her and is only just managing his own health. Also, he is having difficulty coping with seeing his wife like this. Their only source of income is the government old-age pension, so they are unable to afford private help.

2) A 76-year-old man with Alzheimer's is living with his wife. A community nurse visits once a week. He has no understanding of his illness and at times gets upset and aggressive. He requires almost constant supervision. His wife is in reasonably good health, but is exhausted after taking care of her husband. They are living on their old-age pension and a small amount of savings.

What are your initial thoughts to these situations? Would you know anything you could do to more easily cope if you were in these situations?

My first response was "Where are their kids?"

Then I thought "what if they have no kids?".

Then I thought "There has to be something in place to help people in situations like that, WHERE ca they find HELP!"

It only raises more questions, what if these people were on their own with no wife/husband to help?

With a few minor changes, the first scenario was my parents situation for approximately three years. My sister and I provided what financial assistance we could, and we (she more than I) would try to go there and help out (She lives 120 miles away, I live about 1100 miles away). We also made numerous phone calls to area assistance programs and there are some that help. The first thing to do is to call the county Office on Aging and find out what programs they have available and what other resources they are aware of in the area. It is, at times, very difficult to get older people in these situations to accept help from others easily, and getting them to move out of their homes and in with or closer to other family members can be darn near impossible.

I know of someone whose parents are going through something similar to the second scenario (I am at that age when our parents are starting to deal with these difficulties). In that case, I really do not know what can help them short of nursing home care (medicaid/medicare assisted) or having another family member or close friend there most if not all of the time to help deal with the problems. It is a very very difficult situation.

Hopefully your civics class will come up with some solutions to these problems that are just going to become more common as us baby boomers age.

Assisted living sounds like a possible alternative for both couples.

At least around here, there are facilities that offer support and some medical care for couples. They get a kind of apartment, but in a facility where there are nurses and doctors on staff. If the couple cannot afford it, often they can receive government assistance. Our city has an excellent Elder Care program, with people who help the elderly, and know the ins and outs of all sorts of programs, both government and private. If an elder has no family member to do so, I believe they can even act as a patient advocate.

If there is no one who knows about these programs to help, a search could be made in the area for support groups for caregivers, often at or run by either a faith community or a local hospital. Members of the community - their church or neighbors or nearby friends could also be enlisted to give the caregivers some "down time" a few times a week. Just having a few hours where you can rest without being responsible for anyone else is often a sanity-saver.

In the old days, extended families were responsible for elders' care. These days, with families so widespread, that often cannot happen, so the rest of the community needs to step in. Just as it "takes a village to raise a child," it can take a community to care for the elderly.

Yes, I have had much more experience and conversation around these issues than most people my age, but that's the price one pays for loving people.

My first thought: is there any other family members that could help out? Without sufficient funds an ALF or nursing home would be out of the question. My only thought would be to have different family members help out. I posted this before reading anyone else's replies as to not be biased by them.

Thanks for responding and for the insight. I have to look for similarities and differences in people's initial thoughts. I too thought at first where are these people's kids. Karen, I like that take on the "it takes a village" quote.