PDA

View Full Version : Problem at school. . . please help.



Toby's my baby
09-26-2005, 06:00 PM
Ok, heres whats going on. I have been going out with this guy for about 1 year and 3 months, and he was my best friend for like 3 years before we ever started dating. Well, when school started (september 1st) he broke up with me. He was a year older than me. I didnt mind, because our relationship was kinda getting old. But, this new guy came to our school, and I really liked him, becuase I had seen him around town and he worked at our Hugo's and stuff, so I saw him quiet a bit. Anyways, he asked me to our homecoming dance, and I said yes, and he asked me out at hte same time, but i said no, because I didnt really know him. SO, a few days later he asked me out and I said yes. We have been going out for about 2 weeks, but my ex boyfriend will NOT talk to me, and absolutly hates me. All of my friends hate me now, becuse I am going out with this new guy. My ex boyfirend was like a prep nad a HUGE football player nad basketball player,, he played on the Varsity (12th grade) basketball team in 8th grade. My new boyfriend has the "punk" look with the nice guy attitude. he is three years older than me. I like my new boyfriend SO SO much, but all of my "friends" hate me for going out with him. I dont know why they dont like him, everyone judges him and they dont even know him. He is so nice, but everyone just assumes that he is mean, by the way he look, he doesnt even look that much like a "punk" he just has 2 earing so people just assume. . (i will post a pic of him, and you guys can see waht you think, i dont think he looks like a punk. . )My best friend (kylie) was happy I had found someone new, but then all of a sudden today she didnt sit with us (me, my sis, and my boyfirend) at lunch. So i approached her and asked why she didnt sit with us, and she said becuase she didnt like tyler. I like tyler SO SO much, and breaking up with him isnt an option., but i dont know what to do, I want my friends back. I know this is a common problem in high school, but it is terrible not to have any friends anymore. Thanks in advance for any advice!!

Here is a pic of tyler . . .
http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b301/BethPhilipp/People/Dsc04541re.jpg

Samantha Puppy
09-26-2005, 06:31 PM
People your age are more fickle than not. Did you see how quickly they turned their back on you? It'll reverse just as quickly. If not, they were never really much of a friend to begin with - don't you think?

Roxyluvsme13
09-26-2005, 06:31 PM
aww....he doesnt look like a punk at all...your friends should get to know him before they judge him....

Karen
09-26-2005, 06:46 PM
Have you asked your friends WHY they don't like him? If they are fickle enough to hate you for dating someone new, how valuable are they as friends? Maybe be time to ask some questions, both of yourself and of them.

Toby's my baby
09-26-2005, 06:54 PM
Thats waht i was thinking too. They couldnt be to good of "friends" if they just turn their back on me. I dont even know why people say he looks like a punk either, because he wears like pink and stuff like everyday, and he only has like one dark shirt. My school is so messed up. I also think that people dont like him, becasue they are afraid of him. He is nice to everyon, but he could seriously beat someone up. He is in wrestling, unlike ANY other guy at my school, and he came to my school because he got kicked out of his old school for beating someone up. Everyone calles me a wh0-re and a $lut and stuff, and they say they dont like tyler becuase they said 'quote' "he walked into this school like he owned it" and everyone says "you dont have any friends anymore and nobody likes you" and i just reply with " like I care" I try to hide the fact that I dont have any friends anymore, last year, wehn I was going out iwth my ex and stuff, I was fairly popular, and everyone was my friend but today it all just got to me wehn my best friend since like ever told me that she didnt like tyler, when just last week she said she liked him ,and that she was happy for me and that she would go out with him too. I hate people taht judge people they dont even know, and go along with waht everyone else says :o.

More advice is welcome/ much needed, thanks again!

Flatcoatluver
09-26-2005, 07:00 PM
Originally posted by Toby's my baby
Thats waht i was thinking too. They couldnt be to good of "friends" if they just turn their back on me. I dont even know why people say he looks like a punk either, because he wears like pink and stuff like everyday, and he only has like one dark shirt. My school is so messed up. I also think that people dont like him, becasue they are afraid of him. He is nice to everyon, but he could seriously beat someone up. He is in wrestling, unlike ANY other guy at my school, and he came to my school because he got kicked out of his old school for beating someone up. Everyone calles me a wh0-re and a $lut and stuff, and they say they dont like tyler becuase they said 'quote' "he walked into this school like he owned it" and everyone says "you dont have any friends anymore and nobody likes you" and i just reply with " like I care" I try to hide the fact that I dont have any friends anymore, last year, wehn I was going out iwth my ex and stuff, I was fairly popular, and everyone was my friend but today it all just got to me wehn my best friend since like ever told me that she didnt like tyler, when just last week she said she liked him ,and that she was happy for me and that she would go out with him too. I hate people taht judge people they dont even know, and go along with waht everyone else says :o.

More advice is welcome/ much needed, thanks again!
NO OFFENCE BUT THEASE GIRLS ARE LIKE NEEDING TO GO BACK TO MIDDLE SCHOOL, EVERYTHING WILL EITHER TURN AROUND OR YOU'LL MEET NEW FREINDS, WHO NEEDS GIRLS LIKE THAT FOR FREINDS! PLUS YOU HAVE FREINDS HERE AND ALOT OF THEM PROABLLY HAVE GONE THREW THE SAME DRAMA IN HIGH SCHOOL.
FRESHMAN YEAR IS ALWAYS LOTS OF DRAMA

Karen
09-26-2005, 07:03 PM
It sounds like you have already answered your own question. Regardless of whether or not your relationship with Tyler continues, it seems time to make some new friends. Look around, there are probably other good people whom the "popular" crowd has disregarded for some reason, get to know them, and you may find new friends. And do talk to your (former?) "Best" friend, if she cannot explain anything other than Tyler being disliked because he has some self-confidence, then she may not be worth it!

And, of course, silly girl - you have friends here at Pet Talk! - so you are never truly friendless!

Craftlady
09-26-2005, 07:39 PM
Originally posted by Toby's my baby
He is nice to everyone, but he could seriously beat someone up. He is in wrestling, unlike ANY other guy at my school, and he came to my school because he got kicked out of his old school for beating someone up.

Kicked out of a school for beating up someone? He must of beat the crap out of the student to get expelled from a school. Not good. He may be "nice" but this young man is some one with a temper. I wouldnt want to cross this young man. Does your parents know he got kicked out of a school for beating someone up? I think if they knew this you wouldnt be able to see him. Watch yourself with this young man. He beats up guys who's to say he wont beat up girls. Personally, I would loose this guy.

beeniesmom
09-26-2005, 07:57 PM
He is a cutie.

Toby's my baby
09-26-2005, 08:35 PM
Originally posted by Craftlady
Kicked out of a school for beating up someone? He must of beat the crap out of the student to get expelled from a school. Not good. He may be "nice" but this young man is some one with a temper. I wouldnt want to cross this young man. Does your parents know he got kicked out of a school for beating someone up? I think if they knew this you wouldnt be able to see him. Watch yourself with this young man. He beats up guys who's to say he wont beat up girls. Personally, I would loose this guy.

Opps!! i am really sorry, i should have refraised that. He didnt get kicked out of school for beating up someone, he got kicked out of school for trying to start a fight with someone for something they did to him or one of his friends. I have NEVER seen him with a temper, i have never seen him even mad at anyone before, except for my exboyfriend.

And thanks everyone, I know I have MANY friend here at Pet talk, and i know I can talk to you all about anything.

Also, it is really really hard for me to make new friends, because i go to a VERY VERY small shcool. only 170 people in Kindergarden - 12th grade. I only have 13 people in my class. So i cant really just make new friends. Me and my sister are transfering to a bigger high school next year, becuase it is a lot bigger about 170 people per grade, I am possitive i will like it a lot better there, it has a lot more classes and oportunities. I dont know what to do with myself this year though. My sister really likes my boyfriend (she is my twin) and we have been a lot closer than usually this year, so me and her and Tyler usually hang out. I am going to talk to my 'friends' tomorrow, and ask them why they dont like me or tyler, and try to get things strait that are crooked, try to get some of my 'friends' back. Thanks again everyone!

Roxyluvsme13
09-26-2005, 08:38 PM
Good Luck!!!!

Ginger's Mom
09-26-2005, 10:25 PM
You definitely need to talk to your best friend and find out why she doesn't like Tyler. Try to hear her out without getting to defensive. You will be able to tell if she is a good friend or not. I will keep good thoughts for you.

luvofallhorses
09-26-2005, 10:56 PM
This might not be much help...but I'll give it a shot..

Go to the mall or something with your best friend and go to some place to eat or something where the two of you can be alone and ask her WHY she doesn't like Tyler. If your best friend is truly your best friend..she wouldn't let a guy come between you two. JMHO. Good luck and please keep us updated.

Love,

Krista & the fuzz butts

Flatcoatluver
09-26-2005, 11:19 PM
hmm maybe she might be a little jelous, you might be spending to much time with him? i dunno

Almita
09-26-2005, 11:50 PM
Originally posted by Toby's my baby
Thats waht i was thinking too. They couldnt be to good of "friends" if they just turn their back on me. I dont even know why people say he looks like a punk either, because he wears like pink and stuff like everyday, and he only has like one dark shirt. My school is so messed up. I also think that people dont like him, becasue they are afraid of him. He is nice to everyon, but he could seriously beat someone up. He is in wrestling, unlike ANY other guy at my school, and he came to my school because he got kicked out of his old school for beating someone up. Everyone calles me a wh0-re and a $lut and stuff, and they say they dont like tyler becuase they said 'quote' "he walked into this school like he owned it" and everyone says "you dont have any friends anymore and nobody likes you" and i just reply with " like I care" I try to hide the fact that I dont have any friends anymore, last year, wehn I was going out iwth my ex and stuff, I was fairly popular, and everyone was my friend but today it all just got to me wehn my best friend since like ever told me that she didnt like tyler, when just last week she said she liked him ,and that she was happy for me and that she would go out with him too. I hate people taht judge people they dont even know, and go along with waht everyone else says :o.

More advice is welcome/ much needed, thanks again!


It doesn't seem they are your friends I think they will only be your friend if they think the guy is hott and popular or something becuase you are going out with someone you like and he seems to be a nice guy and all but since so called your friends say that they don't like him becuase he isn't popular or something because that kind of seems that way which is really weird because if i saw someone going out with someone you have to get the know that person and you will be nice to them like my firend was going out with someone I got to know him and he was nice at first but when i knew him he actually got annoying but with my other friend her boyfriend was really kind and funny and that is when i got to know him. So i hate it when people judge other people.

catnapper
09-27-2005, 12:02 AM
Ok, as a mom, I hate when friends try to push kids into something they either don't want to do or know they shouldn't do.

Do you like him? Yes? Then date him. Your friends will just have to "get over it"

How would you feel if he dumped you just because his friends told him to?

Now, I am a little confused... and forgive me if it sounds a bit sarcastic... but how exactly can you be popular in a class of 13 kids? There's 13 of you for pity's sake. You & your twin sister make up about 17% of the class. That leaves 11 others to end up hating you over your boyfriend? Sounds pretty pathetic on their part. Its 11 people not worth being friends with.

I don't suppose it would be hard to be the football hero in a school that size. What, does every boy who tries out for the team make it? Is every girl on the cheerleading squad? Get where I'm going here? Its kinda hard to have "popular" and "heroes" in a group as small as your school. If they are going to try to make you feel left out because you're dating this guy who's an "outsider" then ignore them. If you break up with him then you'll feel bad because in your heart you know you like him. Then what if any of these friends started dating him next month? Believe me, it could happen... and would. I saw it happen with my own daughter.

As a mom, my own daughter is dating a guy that got in trouble for fighting. I kknow the kid just was in the wrong place at the wrong time... but still, watch for little anger management signs. Even just getting worked up about your ex concerns me.

Craftlady
09-27-2005, 05:16 AM
Originally posted by catnapper
Now, I am a little confused... and forgive me if it sounds a bit sarcastic... but how exactly can you be popular in a class of 13 kids? There's 13 of you for pity's sake. You & your twin sister make up about 17% of the class. That leaves 11 others to end up hating you over your boyfriend? Sounds pretty pathetic on their part. Its 11 people not worth being friends with.

Your not confused Catnapper. :) These students will change their opinons, boyfriends, girlfriends, friends like their underware... daily, weekly, monthly. This was the simplist analysis to make my point. Maturity levels are going show themselves 1000x greater. Since it's such a small student body in each class of the school their problems etc are magified 1000x greater in their effects. It's not going to be hard to be a sports hero, cheerleader, homecoming queen in a school system that small.

I thought our local independent school which averages of 35-40 students graduating was small but 17 average thats way to small.

Maya & Inka's mommy
09-27-2005, 05:29 AM
Originally posted by luvofallhorses
This might not be much help...but I'll give it a shot..

Go to the mall or something with your best friend and go to some place to eat or something where the two of you can be alone and ask her WHY she doesn't like Tyler. If your best friend is truly your best friend..she wouldn't let a guy come between you two. JMHO. Good luck and please keep us updated.

Love,

Krista & the fuzz butts

I think this is the best advize for you here! I wouldn't drop Tyler just because my friends dislike him for whatever reason. I would defenitely insist on knowing why!!
Hey, if you really love Tyler, give him a chance, and follow your heart.
It is difficult to judge him just by this picture, but he looks like a great guy to me :)

GOOD LUCK!!!!

mina'smomma
09-27-2005, 08:12 AM
Originally posted by Samantha Puppy
People your age are more fickle than not. Did you see how quickly they turned their back on you? It'll reverse just as quickly. If not, they were never really much of a friend to begin with - don't you think?

I totally agree with Jamie. It's not easy, but if you like Tyler then there is no reason for you to break up with him. Your friends will come around in time and if they don't well then you don't need those type of friends. Kudos to you for moving on because it sounds like you ex hasn't.

Cataholic
09-27-2005, 11:51 AM
Ah, high school. Wouldn't go back for all the tea in China.

One thing you might consider- stop the drama yourself. If they don't talk to you? So what. You are in school to learn anyhow. Won't eat with you? So what. Eat, read a book, talk to your sister, etc.

Stop letting the "she said he said they said" stuff get to you. Just ignore it. Someone doesn't like Tyler? Fine. It isn't your job to make them like him. It isn't his job to have everyone like him. Continue to be sweet and cheerful, and let the rest of the stuff go on over you. THAT speaks a message way more than trying to get other people to like him.

One thing....I am NOT saying that just because everyone does something, you should do it, too...but, I do wonder about a small, close knit group of classmates such as yours ALL taking a dislike to Tyler. ***Maybe** there was/is an issue? If you are the only one "understanding" Tyler...well, I might wonder about that. I can't say I have ever come into a new school, work environment, college, class, neighborhood, and had the majority of the people NOT like me....course, I am pretty loveable! (joke)

JenBKR
09-27-2005, 12:09 PM
Originally posted by Flatcoatluver
hmm maybe she might be a little jelous, you might be spending to much time with him? i dunno

That was my first thought.

I met my husband (Shawn) at the very end of junior year in high school. I had just broken up with a guy (for cheating on me BTW) but some of my friends did not like Shawn. They barely knew him, but were mad at me and would not talk to me for a while. They kept trying to get me back with my ex (who cheated!). I asked after a while why they wanted me with the other guy instead of Shawn, and they said because my ex was a member of our group of friends, and we did stuff together, but when I was with Shawn I wasn't with them as much. We did finally work it all out.

BTW, i have been out of high school for 8 years, and have not talked to any of those 'friends' since, because we all went our separate ways to college or whatever. I do still have friends from high school, those who respected my choices. They certainly make the best friends!

Toby's my baby
09-27-2005, 09:44 PM
Thanks everyone. I will update you on my best friend in a day or two, i never got the right time to talk to her today. I am tearing up (seriously) hearing all of your replies, they mean so much to me, and it means a lot to me that all of you care so much about one person that you dont hardly know, and you have never met. Thank you all so much, I love you all!

bluekat
09-27-2005, 11:29 PM
Like the others already said, these "friends" don't really seem like true friends. They really should get to actually know Tyler before judging him..I mean, if he hasn't done anything bad to them then why do they hate him. And they shouldn't judge you on who you're going out with.

Just don't let it get to you. Its just one more year, and you'll be in a bigger school next year with many new friends. But for now, at least you still have your sister & Tyler.

From what you've told me before about Tyler, he seems like a really nice bf. So for now, who cares what anyone else thinks.

& btw, you can always talk to me on msn or pm me if you wanna talk about anything ;)