Can we love our cats too much?

[Kirsten]

This is something I'm sometimes wondering about. Like many of us here, I love my girls a lot, sometimes think too much, as I'm always worried about them and the thought of losing them some day is unbearable. When my RB Katz got older, I kept telling her she must never leave me, and yet she did - of course, because she was 14 years old and had severe heart problems.

When she passed, it's been really a very hard and mournful time for me, a time btw in which I got more support from internet friends than from those I know in person.

Katz just meant the world to me, and so do Luna and Lily these days. Especially Luna is so close to me that my heart just melts when she's only looking at me with her sweet lovable face. But the more you're attached to someone, the more it will be painful if anything happens - and I really fear that.

Does that make sense to anyone?

Kirsten

[catmandu]

IT CERTAINLY MAKE SENSE,TO ME,KIRSTEN,AS THE MAJORITY,OF THE FOUND CATS,ARE SENIOR CITIZENS,WITH MICHAEL 14,PRINESS 14,MOOSE 10,BOBO 12,AND JOSEPH 11.
I KNOW,THAT THE CAT ANGELS,WILL COME,AND ESCORT MY FRIENDS,TO THE RAINBOW BRIDGE,ONE FINE DAY,SO I INDULGE,THEM,WITH TREATS,KNOWING,THAT I MAY BE HASTENING THAT DAY.
AND YET,IF I DENY THEM TREATS,I WILL FEEL GUILTY.
ITS A HARD CHOICE,TO MAKE,BUT I WANT MY CATS,TO BE HEALTHY.
BUT,I KNOW,WHAT YOU MEAN,KIRSTEN,AS DOES ANYONE,WHO HAS SENIOR KITTYZENS!!



http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v621/catmandu/catphotos519.jpg

[orangemm]

It makes perfect sense to me.

I felt that way about all our cats. The ones who have gone to the RB are missed just as much today as the day that they left me.

My husband and I cried together every time the unthinkable happened and I, too, dread the time that means my boys will go away to the RB.

I think in a place like this (with like souls) is where we feel most comfortable expressing the love we feel for our beloved pets. I guess that's why I'm here so much!

[CalliesMom]

I get teased by family that I love the kitties too much, particularly Callie. No one else in my family buys their cats toys, treats, what have you and my house is littered with all these things.

I think how we treat our animals says a lot about us as people. I would rather love something too much than to never experience that love at all. It will break my heart when my kitties pass on, but I would rather have them in my life.

[Soapets]

Yes, I definitely know what you mean. But it is much better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. If we didn't all die sometime, life wouldn't have much meaning. It makes us appreciate the time we have here, knowing that it won't last......

But it still hurts to lose those we love, etc........

Deb

[rkidsrcats]

We not only love our cats and Sam dearly, we plan part of our lesiure time to be spent with them - not because we have to, but because they are more entertaining than TV, movies or dinner out!
Plus they TRUST us so much to care for them and about them that we feel good that we created that kind of bond with them.
We hang out with people who treat their animals the same way and yes, I admit it. I judge character based on how someone treats their pets or animals in general. It tells me a whole lot about them.

[lisalee]

I certainly love Sash too much and it does scare me. I've lost three other cats and it was so very hard, but we also didn't have the same bond I have with Sash. Sash has been with me the longest and we are incredibly close. I don't have any kids or other animals, I think the entire world of him. I do believe I love him more than he loves me though.

So yes, I have a lot of fear of losing Sash someday, especially since he turns 13 this month, it terrifies me greatly I can't even think about it. I just hope and pray that he will be with me a long time still and try to enjoy each day. :)

[catnapper]

Sometimes I wonder about that. Whenever I have to stay at my mom's overnight, first thing I do after dinner is call hubby to make sure the cats got their evening meal, that their litterboxes have been scooped, and that everyone is fine. By everyone, I mean felines. Humans, well, I figure I'd hear otherwise if they were hurt in any way. Mom laughs at me because she says I worry about them more than my husband and kids. Do I?

This summer, hubby wanted to go away for a few days in the worst way. I came up with a thousand excuses NOT to go... but really it was because if we went away, who was going to care for the cats? And Angel was REALLY sick at the time, so who was going to double check on her? I love these cats more than I want to get away! Yes, I'd love to be able to skip town for the weekend, but I don't want to because in the back of my brain all weekend, I'll be thinking of the cats and wondering if they are ok. Of course they are JUST FINE... chances are they'd sleep all day and night, and they have each other to keep company, and I have a hundred toys... but still.... I am only truly happy when I am close to them.

[Randy_K]

I understand. We seem too attached to living, breathing creatures that have the emotional depth to be able to give love. And somehow you question if it makes sense to love them back. Of course it does. Yes, they don't live as long as we'd like (or need) them to but we know that coming in. We know that about people too.

You could remain emotionally detatched for fear of loss or you can enjoy the relatively brief time you have with your kitties. It's your call.

Some people aren't comfortable with nonverbal communication and have a hard time with animals. Others don't adjust well with an animal that sees us as a peer rather than being subservient to us. Evidently none of us have a problem with that!

[krazyaboutkatz]

I already know that I love my cats too much but they're my family and my furkids. I've never been married, don't have a significant other, and don't have any children so they're my family and have also become a huge part of my life.:) I don't travel very often and if I do I don't like to be away for very long because I worry about them too much. I enjoy hanging out with them more than most people. They give me unconditional love, are very entertaining, and help ease the stress of every day life. I don't even want to think about my life without them and I hope that they'll be able to live with me for many many years to come.:)

[carole]

Oh I too can relate to what you are saying Kirsten, when My Sooti died it was unbearable, I was so attached to him, it really did take a long time for me to get over losing him, Lexie did help me with my loss, but she never replaced him as such.

Now I look at her and my Ash and think how unbearable it will be when their time comes, I can only hope they live long lives and that they are with me for a long time, but yes it hurts just even thinking about it, I for one am glad I can feel this emotion to an animal, I just cannot understand those who donot and boy are they missing out bigtime.

Sooti was young and he should not have died, and that made it even harder, if our pets have long happy lives, it is all we can ask for, and it does make their passing a little less sad, but still the longer you have them , the more attached you become, oh heck just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes.

I am not ashamed of how much I feel for my kitties, they are my day companions, and they bring such joy to my life, even the pain of losing them is worth the joy of having them if you all know what I mean. hope that makes some kinda sense.:)

[sirrahbed]

I feel much like Lisalee.....it sometimes scares me that I love and worry about my kitties. We have had many sick kitties here lately, and then some losses, too......I felt so sad that I did not want to read or post at times.....:(

But, my kids are all grown, married and gone and the kitties ARE my family that I am with every day. I love to observe their mannerisms, love to see them happy, and reallt am glad to be their servants. They are the daily part of my life and I would rather be with them than people most of the time.

One thing that bothers and worries me is this: my last cats were all of similar age and we eventually had all geriatrics and they died one by one of different ailments...now, my kitties are again of similar age - Dylan is 3, E&E are 2 and the babies are 1. In 12-15 years or so - we will have geriatrics again. Any cats I take in the future - I want to have older cats or no more cats. I am fearful of being old myself and leaving cats still alive.

Hope I made some sense here as it is very emotional - the way I feel and love my kitty kids.

[orangemm]

I feel the same way, Debbie, but I cannot imagine myself WITHOUT kitties at all. Just couldn't do it...........:(

[Maya & Inka's mommy]

Originally posted by sirrahbed
I feel much like Lisalee.....it sometimes scares me that I love and worry about my kitties. We have had many sick kitties here lately, and then some losses, too......I felt so sad that I did not want to read or post at times.....:(

But, my kids are all grown, married and gone and the kitties ARE my family that I am with every day. I love to observe their mannerisms, love to see them happy, and reallt am glad to be their servants. They are the daily part of my life and I would rather be with them than people most of the time.

One thing that bothers and worries me is this: my last cats were all of similar age and we eventually had all geriatrics and they died one by one of different ailments...now, my kitties are again of similar age - Dylan is 3, E&E are 2 and the babies are 1. In 12-15 years or so - we will have geriatrics again. Any cats I take in the future - I want to have older cats or no more cats. I am fearful of being old myself and leaving cats still alive.

Hope I made some sense here as it is very emotional - the way I feel and love my kitty kids.

Debbie, that is exactly how I feel! My cats are now 3, 3 and 1(??). I love them to pieces; and I won't go anywhere before doublechecking if every one is okey!!
Yes Kirsten it hurts more than anything else when your dear cat dies.... . I still cry when I see Sydney's pics :(

[gini]

What a thought provoking thread!

In my whole life I have only had one dog. She was an all black miniature poodle, one of a litter of seven. Her siblings lived with us as well - but she knew that she had my heart. I had her for far too short of a time and I was shattered when I lost her.

My next love was Suger - an all white - long haired kitty that I loved dearly for 18 years. It took me months to even be able to say his name after he was gone. He was my little soul mate.

My next kitty was one that my husband and I adopted. It was supposed to be "his" cat because Sugar had been mine for so long. But when it was all said and done - Patches was truly mine and we had a heart connection as well.

Then along came Magic - all black - long haired - and one of the sweetest cats I have ever known. The communication between us was amazing. Talk about love being shown by an animal - goodness - it was so sweet it almost hurt. Magic had just "shown up" in my yard at around nine months - and I lost him to cancer when he was 13.

Right before I lost Magic, Rascal again "just showed up" and it was clear he was going to live with me. He practically showed me in every way possible that I had no choice in the matter.

I will never regret taking him in............

And then Annie and Emma were more or less dumped on me by my neighbor. And here I am with three orange kitties.

I have learned that whatever you put into an animal you get back a thousand fold. But it takes time.........you have to be consistent and persistent. Annie and Emma were offspring of a stray - so they were somewhat wild..........but three years later I have utter devotion from them - and finally complete trust.

Do we ever love them too much? I don't think that is possible. They deserve every last drop you can give them.

The most difficult part is of course, saying goodbye..........but have we really parted? How could a pet that has given you so much love and purrs and headbumps and fun - ever leave you? They are firmly locked in my heart and I know that I am in theirs.

[catmandu]

THERE IS A JAPENESE COMIC STRIP WHATS MICHAEL,THAT SUMS IT UP,PURRFECTLY.
A YOUNG COUPLE,IS GOING,ON A TRAIN TRIP,BUT START,TO WORRY ABOUT THIER CATS,WHAT IF SOMEONE BREAKS IN,AND KILLS THEM?
WHAT IF MICHAEL EATS ALL THE FOUND,IN ONE MEAL,AND GETS SICK!!
WHAT IF MICHAEL,GETS DEPRESSEED,AND HANGS HIMSELF!!
WHAT IF POPO,FALL IN THE TOILET,AND DROWNS!!
AND SO,ON,AND SO ON,AND THEY CONVINCE THEMSELVES,THAT THE PLACE,THEY WERE GOING,WASNT GOING,TO BE ALL THAT GRETA,NAD THEY RUSH HOME,TO FIND MICHAEL,POPO,AND MINI MIKE,CURLED UP.ON THE SOFA,,IN THE SUN.
ITS LIKE THE TIME,I WAS WORRIED ABOUT,THE FOUND CATS,IN THE HOSPITAL.WHEN I CAME HOME,THE CATS WERE FINE!!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v621/catmandu/catphotos693.jpg

[Barbara]

My sweet Meo died in 1978 after being run over by a car- but not immediately after the accident. She had some weeks of suffering and vet visits because I was so much NOT ready to let her go.

After that I didn't want cats for many years- because I thought it would be unfair to the cat to keep her/him inside only and if I hadn't changed my mind on that I would not have a cat. Now Filou and Tigris live inside and are very happy but as you all know not 100% healthy, especially Filou who is so close to my heart. So there is no way to keep death outside the doors ( as many humans had to experience since the world started- the thought is not exactly original:p ).

I prefer to know that I can't protect them from everything and still experience that extra-ordinary love that is possible between cats and humans. The alternative would be never to make that experience- and it would not be a solution for me:)

[Randy_K]

It's interesting. Many years ago we had a family cat named Frosty. She was born at home by a stray we had adopted - I guess she adopted us more accurately. We kept the runt of the litter. A little white girl. For several years she and her mom lived happily together until one day mom left having moved on to a new home several blocks away. She was a wanderer at heart and I was always amazed that her daughter didn't miss her. They had an agreement that we were Frosty's and, I guess, she was to take good care of us which she did. Our little girl was born in April 1959 and died in March 1980 five weeks short of her 21st birthday. She left a permanent mark on me that has lasted for 25 years since she left us. Do I regret knowing and loving her? Never. Do I miss her? Every day. Knowing her changed my life. A few pictures of her late in her life (I wish I had taken more pictures of her!)

http://home.att.net/~rjknox/Frosty_02.jpg

http://home.att.net/~rjknox/Frosty_04.jpg

http://home.att.net/~rjknox/Frosty_06.jpg

[Don Juan's mom]

A little comic relief.... :)

I was seriously broke a few weeks ago. When I finally got a paycheck, my first purchase was....

TWO (2) bags of Nutro kibble: one Max Cat Gourmet Salmon, one Nature's Choice Weight Management! :rolleyes:

Guess I do love the little sweethearts too much. :D

Liz

[caseysmom]

This is precisely why I haven't gotten another kitty. It was soooo hard, I had gigi for 14 years, my kids never knew life without her. My daughter still thinks she sees her sometimes in the house, I think she was just so use to having her there.

When I told my husband it was time to say goodbye he told me no more pets, never again. He was way more attached to gigi than the dogs for some reason, I feel just as attached to the dogs. Gigi was sort of his baby and he wasn't a cat person...so he thought.

[Kirsten]

I'm glad that so many of you understand what I mean... thanks for your replies!

Some of you mentioned an aspect I was also thinking about: That we too get older and that we may reach an age at which our cats will most likely outlive us. In fact, there was an article a while ago in one of my cat magazines, suggesting that elder people shouldn't adopt young cats. On the other hand, even when we are younger, something can happen to us every day, so the best thing is to make arrangements for such a case - meaning trying to find people who would adopt your cats in case something happens to you... I think this is somethig we should do anyway - no matter how old we are.

About cats being our family... For me, they certainly ARE my family, and I prefer my cats to most people I know. I don't have children, and I prefer to live on my own. For some reason, I could never imagine a life with an own family - but I can not imagine a life without cats!! I've been let down and even badly betrayed by people I knew, so my feelings about the human race have turned to bitterness meanwhile (I know there are exceptions, but usually I feel this way), and most of the time, I prefer feline company.

Kirsten

[janelle]

I had a darling cat for eighteen years. My father died and he was such a big help with that. He liked to cuddle and be with me. He would wait for my dad at the tip of the stairs everynight for about six months after he died. He would always come up and pet him on the head before going to bed. It was sad to see Sammy waiting for my dad.

I taught him how to shake hands, box and meow on cue with my hand movement.

I waited about twenty years to get more cats. I got one shortly after but it was sick and I sent it back to the breeder since I did not want another lose after my dad and Sammy who died around a year after.

My two cats now are cute as well but they will never replace Sammy. They all have their own personality. I wish these cats were more cuddley and more like Sammy but they maybe have each other and one is claustrophobic and does not want to be held very long. So I still miss Sammy and always will. Maybe that's just life.

Like no one can replace our human friends. They are all different. We love them all but for different aspects of their personalities. These cats are so quiet, more so than Sammy was, so they may be better that way and not so irritating at night. I guess we bond with some animals more than others and the time of our lives we have them.

[barncat]

My mother's brothers called her the cotznmudda... and when I was born I took over the title. My first heart-sister cat was Sooty... she was born when I was 4 and died the summer I had to leave for college. If she had not had a stroke I don't think I could have left her... As it was both she and my grandma lwft me before I had to leave them...

There have been many cats in my life. Some only brief cameo appearances, rescues and passing strangers...some heart-friends and companions of 20+ years. They have lasted longer than human family or lovers. I look in the eyes of these beloved creatures and know we live on a different time-scale in some ways, but in others...Who ever has more than NOW? and cats are experts at being in the moment. Sometimes my Belladonna looks at me and I seem to see Sooty lookng back at me... Or Ambrose touches my tears because my human always-significant-sometimes-other is lashing out about her old issues yet again...and it is my beloved Bunny reminding me that love does end. Of course the new ones are themselves and loved for themselves, but somehow in our NOW there is a big piece of always too.

I'm 47 and these are probably the last young tribe I will ever have because I too worry about those that will outlive me. My woodwork is clawed, my furniture is furry and I have to keep a pet-roller in my desk. My vet teases me because I refer to his associates as baby-vets, and yet he trusts me with the care of things that usually require hospitalization.

I am cotzmudda---catmother--- and there is no such thing as loving too much as long as you keep your heart and your hands open.

[carole]

I am the same age as you, and I had thought after lexie my younger cat of only 3 years of age, I would not own any more because of the fact they may outlive me,however I do plan and hope to live way beyond my sixties, which would make my Lexie around 21 years old, hoping that she lives that long for sure, I don't think I could bear to live the rest of my life alone without a kitty, but I am going to make sure that when I am old, I have someone that will take kitty should I pass on, and I think my daughter will indeed be a taker as she loves kitties as much as I do, but if I cannot assure that, then I will have to re-think that plan, there is nothing sadder than the pets that get handed in because their owners have died, just think of the trauma those poor kitties must feel, not only loosing their owner and companion, but then to be put in a cage all alone awaiting adoption that might never come, not something I intend for any of my kitties to go through if I can help it.

I do worry about my parents kitty Tessa, although she is getting on in years and hopefully my parents will outlive her, she is around 12 years old and they are both in their early seventies, I would take her if anything happened to them in a heartbeat, but she would not be very happy here, I do hope my parents donot get another kitty once she passes on, as I will have the worry of what to do with the kitty should the inevitable happen.