DJFyrewolf36
08-09-2005, 02:04 PM
Sigh, sometimes I really hate being me.
Let me explain...my roomate brought over this girl (For privacy reasons, I'll call her X) and it seemed like she was in real dire straits. Her boyfriend (who she was living with) decided to skip town and not tell her, leaving her homeless. She was also trying to recover from years of sexual and pysical abuse. So, me and the hubby decided that she could stay for a while and get back on her feet.
The more she stayed with us, the more psycho she became. At first she was really nice to us but then she started to get angry when we would do nice things for her. It was like the more we tried to help, the angrier she got. She started to date a friend of ours shortly after she moved in. I have a rule that I follow, never do anything sexual with someone while you are messed up on drugs or alcohol. X got really smashed at a party (our friend was smashed too) and they ended up sleeping with each other. After the fact, X came to us and said that she regretted doing anything with our friend and felt bad because he has feelings for her but she doesnt have any emotional feelings for him but then a couple of days later she takes all her stuff and moves in with the guy. We didn't try and stop her though, in fact we told her that she really could do whatever she wanted, she is an adult after all. She still came over though, and complained that our friend was being too forward with her. What do you expect when you move in with a guy you've been sexually involved with? We said that maybe she should talk to him, and express her concerns about what happened when they were messed up. She got mad at us for "trying to control her life" :confused: all we said was that she should TALK to the guy and if she didn't have feelings for him to just stop leading him on (he is a good friend of ours after all).
Fast forward a couple of weeks. We decide to take X to a party we were going to. She asked us before we left to make sure she didn't do anything stupid as she was planning on getting hammered. We said that we would make sure no one took advantage of her, but if she wanted to do things with people then it was on her, we arent a babysitting service. We left X alone with a few guys all night. We were off doing our own thing and only saw her once or twice in 10 hours. When it was time to go (the party was a good 3 hour drive away from home) we said to her "We're going" and she copped a major attitude. I didn't feel right about leaving her in California with guys she had just met but I did say that if she wasn't in our car by the time we had to go (This was 6:30 am sunday morning, I wanted to get back so I could rest up for work) then she could get a ride back with someone else. She decided to come with us. Last night (after sobering up a bit and not talking to us since Sunday morning) she came over and started accusing us of wanting to rape her, and that all we wanted to do was control who she hung out with because we wanted her as a sex slave. WTH?!?! She called my husband a two faced liar, and an abuser. I got angry enough that I ripped one of my shirts. I told her to get the blank out of my blanking house and not to come back. My husband stopped me from taking any further action which now that Ive calmed down I realize that violence is not the answer. X has been abused, and is on some very powerful anti-psycotics which are not reacting well to the large ammount of drugs she likes to take on a fairly regular basis. I feel bad for getting angry with her but at the same time, no one but no one calls my husband a rapist and an abuser of women. He's been nothing but good to me and even his Ex's that hate his guts say he never laid a hand on them or did anything without thier consent. I know my husband very well.
Should I have gotten angry? Should I still be angry now (I am a little, thinking about it now just makes my blood boil). Every spiritual bone in my body is telling me to forgive and forget (and to just not associate with X anymore) but there is a part of me that wants to go exact revenge. :(.
I could use some advice about this. What would you do in this situation?
Let me explain...my roomate brought over this girl (For privacy reasons, I'll call her X) and it seemed like she was in real dire straits. Her boyfriend (who she was living with) decided to skip town and not tell her, leaving her homeless. She was also trying to recover from years of sexual and pysical abuse. So, me and the hubby decided that she could stay for a while and get back on her feet.
The more she stayed with us, the more psycho she became. At first she was really nice to us but then she started to get angry when we would do nice things for her. It was like the more we tried to help, the angrier she got. She started to date a friend of ours shortly after she moved in. I have a rule that I follow, never do anything sexual with someone while you are messed up on drugs or alcohol. X got really smashed at a party (our friend was smashed too) and they ended up sleeping with each other. After the fact, X came to us and said that she regretted doing anything with our friend and felt bad because he has feelings for her but she doesnt have any emotional feelings for him but then a couple of days later she takes all her stuff and moves in with the guy. We didn't try and stop her though, in fact we told her that she really could do whatever she wanted, she is an adult after all. She still came over though, and complained that our friend was being too forward with her. What do you expect when you move in with a guy you've been sexually involved with? We said that maybe she should talk to him, and express her concerns about what happened when they were messed up. She got mad at us for "trying to control her life" :confused: all we said was that she should TALK to the guy and if she didn't have feelings for him to just stop leading him on (he is a good friend of ours after all).
Fast forward a couple of weeks. We decide to take X to a party we were going to. She asked us before we left to make sure she didn't do anything stupid as she was planning on getting hammered. We said that we would make sure no one took advantage of her, but if she wanted to do things with people then it was on her, we arent a babysitting service. We left X alone with a few guys all night. We were off doing our own thing and only saw her once or twice in 10 hours. When it was time to go (the party was a good 3 hour drive away from home) we said to her "We're going" and she copped a major attitude. I didn't feel right about leaving her in California with guys she had just met but I did say that if she wasn't in our car by the time we had to go (This was 6:30 am sunday morning, I wanted to get back so I could rest up for work) then she could get a ride back with someone else. She decided to come with us. Last night (after sobering up a bit and not talking to us since Sunday morning) she came over and started accusing us of wanting to rape her, and that all we wanted to do was control who she hung out with because we wanted her as a sex slave. WTH?!?! She called my husband a two faced liar, and an abuser. I got angry enough that I ripped one of my shirts. I told her to get the blank out of my blanking house and not to come back. My husband stopped me from taking any further action which now that Ive calmed down I realize that violence is not the answer. X has been abused, and is on some very powerful anti-psycotics which are not reacting well to the large ammount of drugs she likes to take on a fairly regular basis. I feel bad for getting angry with her but at the same time, no one but no one calls my husband a rapist and an abuser of women. He's been nothing but good to me and even his Ex's that hate his guts say he never laid a hand on them or did anything without thier consent. I know my husband very well.
Should I have gotten angry? Should I still be angry now (I am a little, thinking about it now just makes my blood boil). Every spiritual bone in my body is telling me to forgive and forget (and to just not associate with X anymore) but there is a part of me that wants to go exact revenge. :(.
I could use some advice about this. What would you do in this situation?