View Full Version : Had to post this to try to deal with grief.

07-09-2005, 12:05 PM
Our dog Carmen got hit by a car a little over a month ago. After reeling from that, my little pap/pom rescue dog bit a friend's child (about 3 weeks ago). She had to get stitches in her face (it was a for real bite). I researched, talked to people and rescues trying to find any option to keep my little baby alive. He had a lot of fear aggression. He was basically afraid of everyone but me. I had him for a little over a year (he was my constant companion. This week I realized that I had run out of options. I met with my vet and he helped me make the hardest decision in the world. This morning at 8:20 I had him put to sleep, he died in my arms. I'm so consumed with grief and guilt. I want him to be remembered. He was a good and sweet doggie, just so afraid of the world.

I pray I never have to put another dog to sleep again. It was the most painful thing I've ever done.

Thanks for listening.

RIP Carmen and Darby

07-09-2005, 04:15 PM
I wish I were there to put my arms around you and give you a big hug, MasonMom:( :( :( My heart goes out to you during this very, very sad time. I can only imagine the incredible sense of loss and grief you are feeling right now, having lost not just one but two beloved pups in such a short time, under such tragic circumstances. I'm crying just thinking of the courage it must have taken for you to let your dear Darby go:(:(:( No doubt this poor innocent soul suffered trauma in his early life. A trauma so deep that even your love could not heal the scars. But during his time with you, thanks to your great compassion and caring, Darby finally knew the meaning of true love and devotion; you brought to his life a small bit of happiness and comfort, something he had never known before. Try to remember that. Even as he left for the Rainbow Bridge, he felt only love and the comfort of your arms. Please know that many others here are sharing your grief and sadness. Come here anytime to talk when you feel the need to, perhaps share some pictures and stories of happier days. We're family here, united by our deep and abiding love for animals and their families. Your precious Carmen and Darby are cherished furangels now, romping happily together at the Bridge, free of pain and fear. And best of all, they wait there patiently for you, for that happy day when you all be reunited in love.

My deepest, most heartfelt sympathies to you, MasonMom. Your Darby is not forgotten. He and Carmen both live on in your heart and now in mine, as well.
Love, Sandra

07-09-2005, 10:23 PM
I am so sorry..I knowthis has been very hard for you..big hugs

07-09-2005, 10:26 PM
MasonMom, I can't begin to express how deeply my heart aches for you. I just cannot imagine what you must be going through right now, such incredible and consuming grief. It's obvious to me you explored every last option you could to seek an alternative, much more than many people would have done. Then, when you could find no other answer, you braved the pain of your situation to hold him in your loving arms as he passed from this life onto the next, to join your beautiful Carmen. With his last breath, he knew he was loved, and safe in your arms. He remains with you forever in your heart and soul, and as you share his memory, he takes a place in other hearts as well. He now claims a portion of my own heart too, and my tears join yours in your loss.

Darby, watch over Mom from the Rainbow Bridge. You and Carmen romp and play together while you wait, someday you'll be joyfully reunited with your Mom, who loves you dearly forever.

{{Hugs}} across the miles.

07-19-2005, 12:29 AM
I feel your pain, I too had to put my beautiful, lovable wheaten terrier (Taz) of only 4 years down this past thursday night. He was so wonderful, and well trained to. I just can't comprehend what happened. He too bit my girlfriends son on the cheek and had to be rushed to the hospital. luckily it didn't hit a nerve or muscle, however he will need some plastic surgery in about a year or so. Immediately after the incident we went to the vet to have Taz checked out. She informed us that when a dog bites he will eventually repeat it. This was not good news. She gave us different options, one is to have him trained for aggressive behaviour and two is to put him down. I called the two doctors that do this behavioural therapy and unfortunately one of them was on maternity leave and the second and a huge waiting list. My husband was so concerned about our two kids as well as all of our friends and families kids. Our house is a revolving door of kids. He really didn't want to take a chance. His mind was pretty much made up when the doctor advised him on the second choice. Our kids were very upset by his decision and so was I. I tried so hard to save him. I called everywhere and unfortunately no one wanted to adopt a dog that bites. It's been unbearably painful. Almost feels like loosing my dad all over again. I can't stop crying. My husband and kids had a chance to say good-bye to Taz. I didn't want to be part of it, nor did I want to know when it was scheduled for. I just couldn't say good-bye, and know I feel that I am the only one mourning for Taz. I just adored my dog. The pain is so intense that at times I feel that I am gasping for air. How do you say good-bye?

07-19-2005, 05:48 AM

I can relate so much to what you're saying. I am so sorry that the same thing happened to you. Just know that you did what you had to do. I felt like I betrayed my trusting and loyal little baby. I can only hope that they can forgive us. But I like what the one poster above said, the time you and your baby were together, he felt nothing but compassion and love. That really gave me a lot of comfort.

You and your baby had a special love together, remember that happiness and all the special things you did for him. A dog-loving friend of mine said to me, this is a price we pay for being so close to our special friends. Even a dog who lives to a ripe old age will most likely die before us. But all of us who love dogs would take that over not having that wonderful love at all.

Be kind to yourself. Cry as much as you need. Immerse yourself in something you enjoy. I have been reading the new Harry Potter book, and it's good for the soul! I also have been working on a scrap book to honor the memory of Darby.

Take care of yourself and know that there are others who understand completely how special your dog was and how much you love him!

Pawsitive Thinking
07-19-2005, 10:39 AM
There's nothing I can say to make you stop hurting - I hope it helps you to know that we are all thinking of you at you time of need. Take care

07-19-2005, 11:40 AM
I feel your pain! Each of you. My beloved Jewel past away in my arms after being hit. After 4 years, I am still grieving her painful loss. There are no words to make you feel better, no movements or cards. I know how terrible this must be. I don't know what to say besides I feel your pain and I know how empty and helpless you feel. You are not alone! I will pray for you and hope that you are each blessed by God knowing that you loved your pets so dearly.

Steph and Jes