View Full Version : How to deal with the grief

06-02-2005, 09:09 AM
My dog got run over on Tuesday and did not survive. I have been a mess since then. I can't stop crying and my eyes are puffy all the time. I miss my baby so much and every thing I see reminds me of her. How do you cope with this? Do you think we get to see them again in the afterlife? I don't think I can stand it if we don't.

06-02-2005, 09:14 AM
I've never had an experience like that so I can't tell you. However, we all believe in the Rainbow Bridge here. Check out the dog memorial section. When you feel you can, you should make a memento of your dog there. It will make you feel better and give you some support from others here. I do know that I'll be lost when it's time for my Duke to go.

Pawsitive Thinking
06-02-2005, 09:26 AM
Firstly, I am so sorry to hear your sad news. You must give yourself time to grieve - the loss of a beloved pet is no different to losing a human friend or relative. I can only say from experience of losing both quite recently that the old addage of time being a great healer is true. I had to have my beloved tortie put to sleep last year and lost my darling Dad in March so understand a little of how you feel. It helps no end to be able to talk - and if there is no one in person for you there will always be someone on line to listen - take care x x

06-02-2005, 09:28 AM
Oh poor dear, we know - honest.. the pain doesn't really go away but it does become more tolerable. Really. Please do as DukeDogsMom suggests and go to the Dog Memorial thread. If you are not familiar with the Rainbow Bridge please look for it (or someone here can post a link). The fact is that we firmly believe in The Bridge and that truly will ease some of the pain. Not at first, at first it may bring more tears. But I know that for myself it has helped at least make things bearable when I thought I could not cope. I'm sorry your first trip to PetTalk is so sad for you :(

06-02-2005, 09:28 AM
first off,, Let me say I am so s orry you lost your baby..... Loss is such a hard thing to cope with and for a long t ime it was unbearable for me whn i lost my dogs... I found that giving my time at the shelters or pounds can be gratifying,,,, making a small memorial to your baby is always good too. but always know that you will for sure meet up with your baby again somewhere down the road..... I firmly believe that our pets are waiting for us at a womderful field where the sun always shines, the air is clean and fresh and there is an endless supply of food and bones.

Perhaps writing a story or a series of stories of your baby might help too,, getting feelings out on paper has always helped me.

06-02-2005, 09:29 AM
I'm very sorry to hear of your loss. I know what it's like to loose a member of your family. It hurts and will for a long time but know that he will be waiting at the Rainbow Bridge for you when it's your turn to leave this world.

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

Here's a couple of sites that really help if you'd like to check them out.
In memory of pets (http://www.in-memory-of-pets.com/) and Rainbow Bridge (http://rainbowsbridge.com/Poem.htm)

And also know that you can share your grief with us right here. There are so many wonderful people on this board and quite a few of us have lost our pets. And like dukedogsmom said, check out Dog Memorial (http://petoftheday.com/talk/forumdisplay.php?s=&forumid=33) and make your own tribute to your furkid.

Take care

06-02-2005, 09:32 AM
Hi MasonMom,

First let me express my deepest sympathies for the loss of your dear companion. What you're going through is just as real as if you lost a human member of your family, our dogs can be our children, our closest friend, our comforter, our playmate, our guardian, and so much more. Please do feel free to post a tribute or memorial to your dog in Dog Memorial here. You can also read other people's memorials who are going through grief too, and see that they are suffering as you are. There is a lot of support out there for pet loss, some websites are dedicated wholly to this. There are also books out there about dealing with the loss of your dog, if you have a book store near you, you could try to find one of those in the pet section.

Here is a site with a flash movie about the Rainbow Bridge: Rainbow Bridge (http://www.indigo.org/rainbowbridge_ver2.html)

Here is an excellent site that will help you put up a free memorial page for your dog, and has a message board and many other nice features: http://www.in-memory-of-pets.com/

I truly hope some of this can help you. My advice would be to simply let yourself grieve and don't hold back, you need time to grieve this terrible loss. Try to talk with other people who have gone through what you are going through, it helps so much.

Warm {{{hugs}}} to you, I know how difficult this time is.


*edit: Looks like Anna provided the link to in memory of pets too :)

06-02-2005, 10:17 AM
I am so sorry to hear about your dog.
I do believe that our pets are watching over us
and one day we will all be together.

The pain does get easier in time, but the beautiful memories
are with us forever.

PJ's Mom
06-02-2005, 10:32 AM
Your baby was beautiful. :)

I think most of us here have a baby that has crossed over. It helps to have people around you that understand and don't mind how much you talk about her. You posted here, and hopefully we can be of some comfort.

The pain, in time will subside and it will be replaced with all the beautiful memories you have of your girl. Take the time to grieve, and know that someday you'll see your baby again at the Bridge.


06-02-2005, 02:11 PM
Just wanted to thank everyone for your support. I will definitely use your suggestions, anything to help with this pain.

Thank you for the Rainbow Bridge poem, I can just picture her running up to me. I wish you had known her, she was the sweetest and friendliest dog, she loved all people and all other dogs. Even people who didn't like dogs were crazy about Carmen. She had so much life and love to give. My husband said maybe she was just too much for this earth, no one could keep up with her energy and spirit.

Thanks again.

06-02-2005, 02:43 PM

Thanks so much for sharing your beautiful Carmen girl with us. Wow she was such a beauty, her face so full of expression and character. I am sure she is up there bounding away joyfully, spreading her puppyish glee to all at the Bridge. :) What a very special girl she was, and always will be. She lives on in your heart, and I'm sure she watches over you and your family from above.

Hang in there, and give yourself some time. Losing our furkids is definitely one of the hardest things we must endure on this earth.

Pawsitive Thinking
06-03-2005, 04:43 AM
How are you feeling today? been thinking of you and your family

06-03-2005, 05:22 AM
Thanks so much! I'm feeling a little better today. Some wonderful neighbors have sent cards and flowers. I think so many of them are going to miss her too.

Pawsitive Thinking
06-03-2005, 06:13 AM
that's very thoughtful of them - you've got lots of friends of the board too. Take each day as it comes x x

06-03-2005, 10:44 AM
Wow - Carmy's personality sure does come thru in those photos!
What an adorably expressive face! and how very much she loved and was loved by those two pretty little girls - are they yours, too?

I am so sorry that she is gone, what a terrible thing for all of you!

I recently lost my beloved Tristan to cancer - Lymphoma. Like your Carmy, he was a sunny, unique personality that loved everyone and everything, and charmed everyone he met. Like Carmy, his life was cut short - he was only 5, and we'd only had him for three short and wonderful years.

I truly believe that God would not create such wonderful, loving creatures as Carmy and Tristan, to share our lives and hearts, and not reward such selfless devotion after death. If there are no dogs in heaven, then I want to go wherever they go!

Having lost Tristan, and other dogs before him - I DO know that the pain eventually eases some - but you always remember and miss them. other dogs can fill the emptiness in your life, but never take the place of those so loved and special - like Carmy. and like Tristan. They each have their own, special piece of your heart - always.

Someday, the memories will make you smile, even laugh - instead of cry, and you might start to think of opening your heart to another fur baby. Eventually, opening your loving home to another pet is the ultimate tribute you can pay to those who have loved you, so unreservedly.

Until then, we would love to have you share your memories of Carmy with us, and we'll help you celebrate her life and your love for her!

She truly was a beauty - I am so, so sorry for her loss and your pain.

Laura, Jon
Fizzy and Pixel


Jon, Tristan and Pixel

Dixieland Dancer
06-03-2005, 04:04 PM
I'm sorry for your loss. I can fully relate as several of my past friends have crossed over. My very first Golden was accidentily run over by my dad at 3 months of age. It happened so quickly that I wasn't even sure what happened. She died within minutes of getting her to the vets. :( Although she was only with me for about a month, I still know she will be waiting for me when I pass on. :)

I use to question whether our pets would make it into heaven. So did my brother. When his first dog passed he was so stricken with grief. He asked the pastor of our church if he though dogs would be in heaven. His answer.... not a yes or no but... Heaven is a perfect place. Our Lord promised us that all our needs were being addressed. It's this simple....If you need your dog in heaven to be happy then your dog will be there! I personally know I need my dogs.

06-04-2005, 08:11 AM
I love seeing the pictures of everyone elses dogs! They are all so beautiful. I really liked what someone said about there being dogs in heaven, if you need them to be there for it to be heaven, then they will be there. I definitely need them to be there. I always think of dogs as heaven on earth. You all probably know what I'm talking about, but when your with your dog you are completely at peace and happy.

I do have another dog, whom I love dearly, Darby. He's a little black dog, but God love him, he's rather neurotic. He's pretty much afraid of his own shadow and will only allow me and my kids and hubby to pet him. I'm sure we will one day get another dog, but not now.

Those 2 girls are mine and thank you for the compliment. Also, thank you all so very much for your friendship and support. Not everyone has a great love for pets and it's wonderful to go somewhere that everyone feels the way I do.

06-04-2005, 09:17 AM
I am so very sorry for the loss of Carmen. She sounds like a wonderful dog. I hope you can take comfort in feeling that she is in Heaven waiting for you, and now you've got yourself a little guardian angel. :)

I would love to see some pictures and hear more about Darby too. :)

By the way, that is a beautiful picture of Carmen and your girls.

06-04-2005, 10:08 PM
sorry for your loss

06-05-2005, 08:15 AM
Here's a picture of Darby with Carmen. Darby loves to sit on my lap and get pets. He is just so shy around most other people. He has some fear aggression, so I have to be really careful when others are around him. He was a rescue (as was Carmen). I don't know if he's just fearful by nature or if he was abused. If I'm holding him and he feels secure then others can pet him. He's never bit anyone, he just nips and runs when strangers come up to him.

06-05-2005, 12:50 PM
So sorry to hear about Carmen. She was a beautiful dog and lucky to be so loved. She will certainly be watching over you and waiting for you.

PS Darby you are such a cutie - you don't have to be afraid of people!

Pawsitive Thinking
06-06-2005, 10:00 AM
Darby is such a sweetie.....glad you have found friendship and comfort at PT - I only registeredlast week and am sooo glad I did x x

06-06-2005, 11:26 AM
I'm so sorry for your loss...:( She was beautiful, and such a sweet face. I can't even bear to think about losing my MAXIMUS. I wish I had some comforting words. Again, so sorry.