Ok Moms, I need your help getting psyched up

[Sirrahsim]

I WILL delivery this baby before this weekend and I'm trying to mentally prepare myself as much as possible. I would VERY much like to be able to deliver Tyler without an Epidural, but now that Pitocin has entered into the equation I know that that will be much more difficult. I'm a firm believer in the power or mind over body when it comes to pain (so I say now:rolleyes: ) and I think that I will be able to handle it.
Unfortunately, thinking that I'll be able to handle it is NOT good enough to make me FEEL prepared. I need to KNOW that I can handle it.
Can you give me some encouragement?
My husband has been so wonderful about telling me that I *can* do this. I keep telling myself that to.
Childbirth is the most natural thing in the world for a woman. I can do this.... but it's still scary, especially because now I know that Tyler is gonna come out on Friday whether he wants to or not this time. I've read all about the breathing techniques. I'm comfortable with this hospital and know what is available to me (birthing ball, pull handles, that sort of thing). I have my focal point picked out and in the car. He's a cute little teddy bear that hubbys Mom had made for us at Cedar Point last year. I have tennis balls in a sock to combat back pain.

Now I need encouraging thoughts and advice.

I can do this!! (i think...)

[sirrahbed]

Of COURSE you can do it Missy! Look how many moms go on to have MORE kids:D The exciting thing is that the contractions are strong at times and YES they hurt - but you KNOW what is causing everything and it is normal. Also, just when you think the labor is so intense you maybe can't handle it, it is suddenly time to start pushing and that feels GREAT and a bit later you have Tyler!!

If you go with the epi - that is fine:D Nobody gets an award for gritting their teeth and not taking pain relief if needed but you may not need it and if so - good for you:)

You still have all week for Tyler to come out on his own and I am betting that when you least expect it - you will suddenly be aware that those tight feelings are happening more often and you are REALLY taking notice. Then you can eventually practice some breathing when they are very strong...timing them ...soon a regular 3-5 minutes apart and off to the hospital for the last hours of INTENSE focus on riding over those waves of contractions like the waves of the ocean...then you see your baby!

Every woman is different in how they accept the labor and participate. You are a champ at concentration and I know you will do just fine - I can't wait to hear about every detail of Tyler's birth:D :D :D Oh wait until you hear that first yell he makes - so precious!!

You will do FINE and I am betting it will happen in just a few days before the week is out:D :D

[sirrahbed]

Focal point - I found this worked GREAT in the middle active labor phase. (I would try to ignore the early labor or you get too tired and it can last for a long time) Really try to wait as long as you can - maybe 6 centimeters or so. For the end of active and right to transition - I found it better to do rhythmic breathing in a pattern and concentrate on the pattern. Like: pant pant blow, pant pant blow, then 3 pants then 4, then back down to 2 for the next 30 seconds or so and by then the contraction is OVER if you focus on a pattern. Or, do it in reverse so that pant blow is at the top of the contraction. That pant blow was my favorite. When transition comes and there may be multi peaks and the contractions may not completely go away - know that pushing is VERY close!! At that time, I did something I call "climbing into my head" and it is sort of like the humming you do in your head. It is like hovering above the intensity and watching it. That phase is usually VERY short - maybe only five minutes. Knowing it does not last long is good to know.

Whatever - you are going to do fine, just FINE!! And, you ARE going to have a baby in the next few days and will not be pregant forever
:p ;)

[Ally Cat's Mommy]

Best of Luck, Missy! You will be in my thoughts and prayers!

I was really lucky with Amy (my second), I managed without any drugs, only with the breathing techniques - they definately DO help, but at the end of the day focus on what is working for YOU during labror, and what is best for Tyler!

Move around when you want to (unless you are hooked up to monitors etc) and experiment with different positions to find the most comfortable one.

I KNOW you will do great!!

(((HUGS)))

[sirrahbed]

I just talked with Missy on the phone. It is 9pm on Monday night there (8am EST here)and she is going to take a nice warm bath and then sit in the moonlight for awhile:) There is a huge full moon and more babies come at that time:D :D When I was working L&D - we kept an extra person or two there during full moons - no kidding. It really happens that way. That moon can affect the ocean tides and it does something to make more babies arrive also. (same with earthquakes and hurricanes:p )

[Maya & Inka's mommy]

Of course you can do this, Missy!! You are so very well prepared, it just cannot go wrong:) ! Listen to what your mom just said, mom's advise is ALWAYS the best !
I cannot give you advise on the labour-tecqniques (sp??), as both my kids are adopted ;)

[Sirrahsim]

Lut- Your advice is most welcome as well :D How did it feel to you when you first looked into your child's eyes? You don't have to be a biological mother to experience the miracle that occurs when a mom first meets her child.

I can't believe it's only days away:D My little miracle will be here soon:D

[Maya & Inka's mommy]

Originally posted by Sirrahsim
How did it feel to you when you first looked into your child's eyes? You don't have to be a biological mother to experience the miracle that occurs when a mom first meets her child.



It felt like a miracle to me! Our son Jo had such beautiful dark eyes (almost black), and the way he looked at me.... ! Oh my, it still gives me the "shivvers":)

I will post the story of his arrival soon as he turns 20 on June 2nd. . But especially for you, I searched for that picture where you can see that "first look"!!

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y144/berlut/jo1.jpg
first with mommy

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y144/berlut/jo2.jpg
then with daddy!

[Sirrahsim]

:D :D :D :D :D

[sirrahbed]

Oh Lut, those are adorable pictures! If you and Bernard smiled any bigger - your face would hurt!!:D

[sirrahbed]

Missy I was just thinking about the sound of that first cry. When Misha was born - dad and I stood right outside the door and when we heard her first cry - we both cried with her! What an amazing sound to hear Tyler's first yell:D

I have the greatest song - will look for the lyrics....

[sirrahbed]

Midi: http://www.tc.umn.edu/~sorem002/hymn_midi.html

I Was There to Hear Your Borning Cry


I was there to hear your borning cry,
I'll be there when you are old.
I rejoiced the day you were baptized
to see your life unfold.

I was there when you were but a child,
with a faith to suit you well;
in a blaze of light you wandered off
to find where demons dwell.

When you heard the wonder of the Word
I was there to cheer you on;
you were raised to praise the living Lord,
to whom you now belong.

If you find someone to share your time
and you join your hearts as one,
I'll be there to make your verses rhyme
from dusk til rising sun.

In the middle ages of your life,
not too old, no longer young,
I'll be there to guide you through the night,
complete what I've begun.

When the evening gently closes in
and you shut your weary eyes,
I'll be there as I have always been
with just one more surprise.

I was there to hear your borning cry,
I'll be there when you are old.
I rejoiced the day you were baptized,
to see your life unfold.

John Ylvisaker

[Cataholic]

Missy,
Everyone is different. Obviously. I would tell you, in frankness, that I would NEVER go through labor without an epi (and, mine only worked partways anyhow). It isn't because the horror of the pain, though, that is some of it, but, there are many, many people that will tell you it is not that bad, but, it is because WHY do it if you don't have to experience any pain? Trust me, it is still really, really hard work even with an epi. You are not less of a person because you took an epi. Most of us take a medication during many events- having a tooth pulled, when we aren't feeling well, when we want to sleep, when we have minor surgery.

Mommyhood is not defined by whether you took something when you delivered your baby or not. I feel no less of a person/mommy because I chose an epi. I knew from day one that I wanted all the pain medication I could get my hands on.

You want to push yourself? And focus? Fine. I figure the first 8 weeks are all about focus and pushing yourself. Do it then. If you are still feeling like you want to focus and push yourself? Go train for a marathon.

I just want to be at least one person that voices my total support for pain medication. Go EPI!

[caseysmom]

I said all through my pregnancy...no drugs at all none...I arrived at the hospital and said "no durgs at all" ...after about 7 hours I was screaming for whatever they had.

I think my labor was much worse than most and I still think it was worth it and have no regrets.

Good luck! You will be fine and have a happy labor day:D

[Corinna]

I know you want a totally natural birth I have had one my son the second one. But my first my daughter, I was late and my pushing pooped out (after 18 hours it does) she was stuck (very large head) They gave me the pitocin please as for some thing to take the edge off. When it starts to work you will want to have a touch of something. I had just enough that it didn't make me sleepy or any thing but it did allow me to focus on my breathing and pushing. Good luck girl. It is an amazing experance, just when you thing it's not that wonderful little person arrives and you just can't explain the joy and emotions you feel.
Praying for you all.
Grandma"s must be going nuts waiting huh?

[PJ's Mom]

I had 3 of my four without any drugs. My first one was a 36 hour labor. Now I wish I had had the epi. :D At the time I thought I was doing what was best for myself and my daughter. If I had it to do over again, I know the epi would've kept me from throwing up and screaming more cuss words than I thought I knew. :D

My second labor lasted 8 hours and my third, because I was having twins, was only 4 hours. One twin was born naturally and the other was C-section.

Do what you think is best. No one can tell you how to have your son and no matter what you decide, it's the best thing for you. :)

[sirrahbed]

I am NOT pushing for drugfree but this is what Missy is hoping to do so that is what I encourage.

Daughter - I have told you that nobody gets a special *supermom* award for a completely natural and drugfree childbirth, so go with what feels right :) No matter what - you end up with a baby!;)

We are all excited for you!! SOON Missy!:D

[Samantha Puppy]

I'm in the same boat (just waaaaaaaaaay preliminary at 8.5 weeks compared to you at 40). I am going to do everything in my power to not have the epidural, but mostly because I'm petrified of needles and having one go into my back makes me nauseous now - I can't imagine how I'd feel going through labor and THEN having the anxiety of having an epidural on top of it.

You'll do what's best for sweet baby Tyler. If you can do it without the medicine, more power to you! Millions of women did it for millions of years before it was invented so you can too (that's what I tell myself). But if you find out it would make things easier, there is nothing wrong in that either.

Good luck!

[Sirrahsim]

I'm not dead set against pain meds- it's just an ideal for me:)
If the doc thinks that either I or Tyler will benefit from me getting some juice then I will go for it:D I have no fear of needles, I'm just being idealistic at the moment.
I know that I won't get an award for NOT using them, and I certainly don't look down on Mom's who have used drugs!!

But boy will "I am woman, hear me roar!" feel good to say if I CAN do a Pitocin induction without an epi:cool: :cool: :D

:eek: It's Tuesday today:eek:

[kimlovescats]

Good luck, Missy ---- you will do great whichever happens. Just focus on the fact that your beautiful baby boy will soon be in your loving arms!!!:D

[rg_girlca]

Everyone has a different threshold to pain. I take my hat off to any woman who has gone through a natural birth.

Missy, the only thing that I can tell you, from my experience, is that no matter how much pain you experience, it is unbelievable how it is all forgotten when they place your precious bundle of joy on your chest.

I'm not going to lie to you. Yes, with my first one, I was very nervous. It's the not knowing how it will actually be, for me, that had me worried. Sure, other woman can tell you this or that. But each pregnancy and labor are different, as yours will be also.
I had to be induced with both my boys, due to gestational diabetes, and by being induced, it brings on the labor faster and harder. I went almost 12 hours with the first one and 4 1/2 hours with the second. I opted for the epi with both my sons when I became 6 centimeters dilated. But that was me.

When the time comes for you, YOU, will know what it best for you and how you can handle it. But I do know you are going to do just fine.
It is one of the most beautiful experiences any woman can go through. :)

[Ally Cat's Mommy]

I would like to add to my comments earlier in the thread.

I DID have a really lucky / good experience with Amy - breathing techniques only. With my 1st (Amber) they gave me pethadine gas, which took the edge off but made me feel a bit woozy.

If I am ever blessed enough to get pregnant again, I would SERIOUSLY consider an epi - I think I have gotten more "chicken" as I am getting older!! (It would also be nice to get through ONE labor without turning the air BLUE with swearing which would make a sailor blush LOL!!!:o )

No-one will think any less of you if you have assistance / pain management - and if it will make it a more pleasant memory to look back on, then why not??

[LorraineO]

I ended up with a C section but hey,, I felt labour and it aint fun,,, BUT,,, every woman is different,, what was agony to one is a breeze to another,,, My best advice is to relax, know it will not last forever and dont fight the pain,, it only makes it worse,,, you just gotta ride it out,, lots of breathing and find the position that works for you....

Its so worth it in the end....:)

[NoahsMommy]

While I've never had kids, and wont physically, I've never understood not wanting pain medicine. That's a horrendous thing your body is going through and I'd think you'd want to be able to enjoy it as much as possible without unnecessary pain. But, like I said, I'm not in your shoes. ;)

You'll do GREAT! I just know it.

Epidurals were made for situations like this. Go for it!!

[gini]

When the time comes, you will do everything just right for you and the baby.

WooHoo - all of us are so anxious to see this boy!

[carole]

If you can have your baby naturally then great, but just go in with an open mind, that things don't always go as planned and I am sure you will do just fine.

I have never experienced an epidural, but my first childbirth experience never went according to plan in any way, luckily with my daughter I only needed a bit of gas, and it was a breeze in comparison.

Everyone is different and has different experiences, some people just pop them out effortlessly, however they are in the minority, good luck and soon you will be blessed with a beautiful baby son.

[Sirrahsim]

I have an open mind:D I plan on having them hook me up to the IV as soon as possibe to get fluids going just in case I do decide to get drugs. :) So many opinions here:)

[carole]

Hey we are just a good bunch of know it alls.:D I am glad you have an open mind, be prepared for whatever, and good luck, really looking forward to seeing our new PT baby Tyler.:)