View Full Version : Stand-offish kitty

01-15-2002, 06:49 PM
Are there behavioral patterns to an almost 2 year old cat? Ritz seems to become less and less affectionate as she grows older. Not that she doesn't spend time with us, she still does...but I was going through my head the "stages" she goes through.

As a kitten, she slept willingly in our laps, in fact we couldn't get her off us at times. From 8 months to about 16 months she would sleep with us either at the foot of the bed or curled up next to me in bed (I love this)

She is now nearing 2 years and rarely sleeps with us, instead she has a spot downstairs on one of two chairs. She occasionally visits the bedroom during the night, comes up and "noses" me, but doesn't curl up any more :(

Nothing has changed in her life to cause stress (that I'm aware of)...we love her dearly - she still lets us pick her up and this typically results in a healthy purrfest - she does not fight to get away or anything, but I have to admit I miss the cuddles...

Ritzy is an only cat, as I've noted in other posts. Can cats get bored with their "mom & dad" kitties?

01-15-2002, 08:09 PM
This is only my opinion, but I've always felt sorry for
'only' cats. I think they should always come in pairs...
or maybe one at a time, adding up to 2 or more.
I'm starting to think the same about dogs.I think they
learn more & are more 'human' interactive when they
have another species member to "talk" & interact

01-15-2002, 10:05 PM
Mimi wants to start an "only cat" club. She definitely prefers being the only cat. Adding a second one so late in her life was not a happy thing for her, and it still isn't! :(
But since your cat is so young, maybe it would work. The only problem is, you won't know until you bring another one home, and if you're like me, there is no way you'd take it back! LOL!
If Ritz isn't acting out, just doing things a little differently, she's probably fine, just being a cat! With Mimi, things have always been done on her terms, not ours. She can be very affectionate, but then other times not so nice. Tonight, I was holding her, and she was purring and snuggling on my shoulder, then all of the sudden, she bit my face! :eek: Butter was nowhere around, so I have no idea what was up with her.

Good luck. I know you want your snuggly, loving kitty back. :)


01-16-2002, 05:57 AM
Thanks...Logan, she isn't lashing out...in fact she still wants to be where we are and welcomes pets and tummy rubs, and sometimes stands up and extends her front paws to be held, but as you said, it's definitely on her own terms. She is playful and healthy, so I don't think there is a health or emotional problem.

Two kitties in the house is just not an option for us at this time.

She does interact with us very well, in fact on a certain level I think she is just so comfortable here now that everything is her domain that she doesn't have to be next to me at night. (Also, I move around a lot in sleep - maybe she's afraid I'll roll over onto her :) )

I read in some literature that came from the vet when she was spayed that indicated cats did not develop their full adult personality until about 2 years of age...perhaps she's just a fussy teenager


01-16-2002, 10:21 AM
I don't think there's anything wrong with Ritzy. All of my cats have gone through stages where they are more cuddly and others when they are less cuddly. Elvis loves to sleep with me, but lately, he has discovered the corner of my room, on the rug right near the radiator. He has been sleeping there almost every night. I miss him in the bed, and he does come and sleep with me for a while, but usually ends up going back to the warm spot.
When I put a basket lined with a baby comforter in the living room, he spent most of the night there. He still spends the night there occasionally.
I think that they just find a spot that they like, and it becomes the favorite spot for a while.
I know you miss the cuddles, but I don't think you should take it personally. :)

01-16-2002, 12:12 PM
I am not too sure about why she's not as cuddly, but I have a thought...could it be because she is getting to adulthood and is a girl? The difference between Noah and Noel is HUGE! Noah is a cuddly guy and will tolerate me snuggling with him whenever the mood hits me. Noel, on the other hand, will NOT let you cuddle her if she isn't in the mood. She only wants to sit with you when SHE wants to.

Maybe that is the source of her behavior?

When we first brought Noel home, Noah was really mad at me and wouldn't cuddle or sit next to me at all. (He slept and played with my hubby instead!!) I read in Cat Fancy that if you ignore them, they will want to be with you again. It worked!!! :rolleyes: Try that for a day or two and see what Ritzy does.

01-16-2002, 07:52 PM
Noah's Mommy, I think gender does play in this. In my life of cats, I have found the toms to be more overtly AFFECTIONATE but also found the females to be a bit more aloof. Having said that, I've had better luck with females as in-house only, even though I had the toms altered, still had the roaming/spraying issues.

I do think the tuxedo gals have a unique personality too. Tonight she has been too funny, chasing the fake mousie under the pantry door, meowing to have me retrieve it...lots of play time. She also follows me around the house after I get home, is always somewhere in the room with me even if she isn't lovey dovey...

Ritz is still the "cat o my heart"...snuggles or not :)

01-16-2002, 10:15 PM
I think you have the right attitude, Tuxluvr! Good for you and for Ritz! She'll be fine as an only cat. Like I said, Mimi was a perfect only cat for almost 12 years, then I had to go and mess things up for her! :o Poor baby!!!

C.C.'s Mom
01-17-2002, 04:23 AM
I agree, female cats have been very independent while living with me. I've had 3 of them, and they all go their own way. They come when they need some affection, and go away when they had enough. My male cat is a different story: he needs constant prove of my love for him.

I'm sure that Eddy (female) would be over the moon if she was an only cat. When the weather is good, Rudie goes out all evening and night, and she likes to pretend to be the only cat in our house. Happy and content in her chair, something she won't do when he's around. Our deceased cat definately hated other cats.

So, I wouldn't worry too much about it. Cats come when they need you, and go their own way if they want to. That's what I always liked about them-

01-17-2002, 05:00 AM
I think this cat is psychic!(either that or she has been secretly logging on during the day when I'm at work and reading my posts!) !:D :eek:

This morning, about 2am, Ritz jumped on the bed, curled up next to me,hugged my arm, groomed me and slept there for 3 hours...

Ahhh, my cuddle fix is satisfied. You know, all of you are right on target - this behavior is EXACTLY what I love about cats, when the affection is given by the likes of Ritzy the Cat, you KNOW it is genuine!

Made my day (and my night)

01-17-2002, 09:31 AM
Originally posted by Logan
I think you have the right attitude, Tuxluvr! Good for you and for Ritz! She'll be fine as an only cat. Like I said, Mimi was a perfect only cat for almost 12 years, then I had to go and mess things up for her! :o Poor baby!!!

Logan, I remember what Butter looks like but am having memory lapse regarding Mimi's appearance...can you point me to a pic?

01-17-2002, 12:52 PM
Dear TuxLover,

So glad that Ritz is cuddling again. It's such a thrill when the fur-babies come for 'love-ins'.

:confused: :confused: :confused: But it does amaze me how often they will immediately do something they haven't done in months as soon as I say (or post) that they don't do ... whatever. Amazing creatures, aren't they?

Edwina's Secretary
01-17-2002, 01:07 PM
Amberlee - you read my mind ....

Edwina is either sneaking onto Pettalk during the day or ....

In the morning my husband brings me a snack -- to get me up and going (such a sweetie.) Lately I switched to a low fat breakfsat bar that has honey Cheerios, nuts, and some milk by-product in it. This morning I showed it to Edwina who was in bed with me. Little miss "doesn't beg except for tuna" went wild. Licking it as I ate it and doing everything to get it from me. I finally gave her a bite.

Then she joined me in the bathroom while I was getting ready and proceeded to jump in the tub (which I previously stated terrified her. And it did! I was convinced she had a traumatic experience involving bathtubs.) She explored the length of the tub and the candles on the far end.

When I left she was sitting in the tub peering at me over the top of it.

I worry what ideas she will get next from Pettalk!

01-17-2002, 01:19 PM
What a laugh! Beware my post in Cats General about a suicidal houseplant!!! :p :D :rolleyes: :eek:

01-17-2002, 02:01 PM
I'm so glad Ritz is cuddling again. I have seen my cats go through changes like that. Just when you think "this is their spot, or they always do this or that", they change it. I have 4 cats that sleep on my bed now but have gone for periods when there was only one or even nobody at times. I also wouldnt worry about her being an only cat. It sounds like she gets plenty of attention from you. I have a few here that I believe would LOVE to be only kitties. And of course kitties wouldnt be kitties if they didnt do something utterly unexepected at times. After all thats what we love about them.:)

01-17-2002, 03:37 PM
Good Girl Ritzy!!

They always seem to know what we want, huh?:)

01-17-2002, 04:53 PM
Heh, heh, mom is SUCH a worrywart!!

Ritzy da Kat

01-17-2002, 08:09 PM
There are a couple of females here who after reaching the age of 2 years, refuse to stay inside with the other cats. I know mama cat (appx 7 years) absolutely refuses to stay near another cat. Yet when I first took her in ( 6 years ago) , she was much more sociable than today. Also, my Aby Queen is doing the same now. I suppose if I were to get rid of all my furkids except those two , one would still perfer to stay outside! Yet, all of my males continue to be most affectionate after they mature from kittenhood.


01-18-2002, 07:40 AM
Two nights in a row! I'm on a cuddle roll! :D :cool: :rolleyes: ;) :) :cool: :D

01-18-2002, 12:07 PM
Dear TuxLuvr,

So excited for you! Enjoy!

01-19-2002, 09:21 AM
Hey, I could get really spoiled! Sure makes those winter nights a lot cozier!

01-19-2002, 01:20 PM
I am going through teh exact same thing with my cat sometimes I wonder if she still loves me.
I feel your pain,