View Full Version : Need help from you teen girls...

03-26-2005, 09:41 AM
My daughter is driving us NUTS. Long story short, My son's best friend has had a crush on her since freshman year. He's a senior now. This guy is a great kid - smart, sweet, has a job, funny, you name it --- he's a general great guy and we love him. My daughter finally "noticed" him this year (she's a junior) and the timing always seemed wrong for them - either she had a boyfriend or he had a girlfriend. Well, finally a few weeks ago, they were both free and clear to date each other (whew!)

He asked her to the Prom and she excitedly said yes. They've gone on many dates. Things were going great. Then all of the sudden she started pushing him away. Typical for her... she pushes people away all the time. I think she's "testing" them to see if they give up and go away or if they hang in there and show her how much they care for her. Last night he came over, and we were all hanging out in the livingroom. He bought her some Easter gifts.

Things were low-key and everyone was having a good time. Then all of the sudden she gets up and heads to her sister's bedroom and puts in a movie. :confused: At first we thought she just headed to the bathroom or something, so when ten minutes passed and she never returned, we sent her sister up to find out what was going on. Next thing you know, the girls were bothed holed up watching the movie :rolleyes: The poor guy sat there looking at hubby and me shrugging his shoulders. I swear he looked like he was about to cry. Then he finally (half an hour later) went up to join them watching the movie. My son followed too.

She now says she only thinks of him as a friend. I think it has more to do with the fact we like him and he's a nice boy. She has had the tendency to like "bad boys" in the past. Each time they end up hurting her, and she still keeps looking out for those bad boys. :rolleyes: Here she has a great kid that respects and likes her, and she's pushing him away.

Now, all of you teens here (and perhaps parents who relate) please shed some light on this situation! We can't figure it out! Even her sister is saying "I don't know!" All their friends think he's cute, funny, etc, so its not as if he's not "cool" enough for her.

Are we missing sometign here? Of course she won;t talk to us about it. She only gives a lame excuse of "I like him as a friend" which we know isn't true because she's been sighing about him since September
Sorry to write a short novel here! :o

03-26-2005, 09:49 AM
Can't shed light but sending {{hugs and Prayers}}} I got through teens . You will live though it, they are different critters to raise.

03-26-2005, 10:17 AM
I don't have any insight either, sorry. I'm 22 so it wasn't too long ago that I was her age, but I still don't know.

03-26-2005, 11:28 AM
I'm a teenager (grade 12) but I don't think I can offer too much help. I know I could probably never go out with someone that comes over to my house alot. In fact I would barely want him to associate with my parents --- I am not sure why, it just makes me very uncomfortable. But since she's already been hanging out with him at the home...that probably isn't the problem.
:confused: I would place my bets on something that happened outside the home. Maybe he did something she doesn't agree with? I know that most things about me that my mother has to scratch her head at happens somewhere else. Infact everything LOL. At home with my friends I'm fairly good..but outside the house, I can be pretty wild, and no one in my family could ever guess it. Maybe at your house he acts like a nice guy, but somewhere else he's more comfortable and feels like he can be "himself" whomever that may be, and she doesn't like it.

03-26-2005, 11:39 AM
Thanks. I would bet SHE tried something wild and HE stopped her. Like I said, this is my son's best friend and he knows his friend inside and out. He would NEVER let her date his other best friend who is into drugs and such.

My oldest daughter has a record of doing bad, stupid things when out with her friends. It got so bad that if she wants to see anyone, they basicaly have to come here because we don't trust her outside unchaperoned. Take my word on it, she likes to live life on the edge of stupidity. :p We were really hoping things would work out between the two, and she'd see what a nice guy is like. And perhaps he'd rub off on her.

My son is a good kid who we trust IMPLICITLY because he has his head on straight. He knows drugs, drinking, smoking will ruin his chances of going anywhere with his sports, and he has long said he's not having teenage sex because he sees how being a young father affected hs own father, and therefor his own life (hubby had to drop out of college in his senior year because going to school & working fulltime, and having a baby at home was harder than he thought.) My son doesn't want that for himeslf. It seems all those lessons are lost on my daughter. Sigh

03-26-2005, 12:20 PM
Could there be another guy that she likes now, too?

03-26-2005, 12:22 PM
did they have an arguement that you didn't know about? or maybe there is a habbit of some sort or maybe a behavior that he does that she doesn't like.

PJ's Mom
03-26-2005, 01:55 PM
Hmm...I have a teenaged daughter (ok three of them) and I think you might've hit the nail on the head when you said, " I think it has more to do with the fact we like him and he's a nice boy."

That might be exactly it. My middle daughter (she's 17) wouldn't dream of liking a guy I liked for her. If I so much as make a comment on how the guy looks or that he's nice, she'll instantly find something wrong with him. :rolleyes: My youngest (Rottieluver) wants me to meet the guys she likes because she knows I'm cool. :p

Maybe if you became less interested or tried to point out the shortcomings of this guy, she'll start hanging out with him again. :confused: