What should I do :( :( :(

[Mandy1]

I don't know what to do.....My parents our divorced and I'm not sure if I should spend Christmas with my mom, or my dad.. I wish I didn't have to choose, because the parent I don't choose to stay with will be all alone on Christmas Eve :(. I don't know what to do, and I don't want to hurt their feelings when i pick one of them over the other.

THis has bothered me for along time but I kept ignoring it, thinking that something will work out.

I'm so confused, Any advice would be greatly appreciated. :)

[Maya & Inka's mommy]

How about spending Christmas Eve with one parent, and Christmas Day with the other one? :)

[molucass]

Originally posted by Maya & Inka's mommy
How about spending Christmas Eve with one parent, and Christmas Day with the other one? :)

That's what I was going to suggest as well.

[LIzzzzy]

I think it's horrible that your parents put you in this position.

[Palomino21]

I understand what you are going through. My parents divorced too and the holidays are always hard. Usually I spent part of the holiday way both of my parents and then when I was on my own, I spent it at home because I felt too bad for seeing just one of them on Christmas. This year I chose to spend Thanksgiving with my dad and Christmas with my mom and explained this to both of them. No hard feelings and they both understood. Divorce is really hard and painful on the entire family especially the children.

[CalliesMom]

My husband's parents are divorced so this year we are spending Christmas Eve with his mother, Christmas morning with my mother and Christmas dinner with his dad's family. It still takes some getting used to and they can still be catty at times; but you shouldn't feel bad for being put in this position. It is not your fault--just let both parents know you love them and wish you could have spent more time with them.

[Harmanie]

well my parents (biological ones that is) are devorced and I guess I'm one of the lucky ones because it didn't really affect me. But yes I do think that it is awful how they put you in this position. I like the suggestion of spending christmas eve with one and Christmas with the other. It stinks that at times things come down to that. But in the end I hope that it all works out for you.

Kate

[Mandy1]

They did put me in a bad position but in fairness to them what else were the going to do?


I guess I will spend Christmas day with one of them and Christmas with the other.


I just wanted to be with both of them :( I hate Christmas. :(

[LIzzzzy]

Originally posted by Mandy1
They did put me in a bad position but in fairness to them what else were the going to do?




Suck it up and spend Christmas together. They're both Adults, they can spend one night together to make their child happy.

[cookieluver7]

Originally posted by Maya & Inka's mommy
How about spending Christmas Eve with one parent, and Christmas Day with the other one? :)

That is a great idea! :D

[Mandy1]

Originally posted by LIzzzzy
Suck it up and spend Christmas together. They're both Adults, they can spend one night together to make their child happy.



I wish it was that simple.

[Tonya]

I am sorry that you are going through this. My parents are also divorced and my husbands parents are divorced. It is so hard to spend time with everyone and make sure that everyone is happy. Since they cannot be together, I suggest alternating years. Spend one year with one parent, the next year with the other. Perhaps you can see one parent on Christmas Eve and one on Christmas day like everyone suggested.

Whatever you decide, do not let guilt get to you. It is not your fault or your problem. You will be miserable if you spend the rest of your life worrying about how to deal with special occasions.

I've finally after years of stressing decided that I'm not going to let it be my problem any longer. For now on, I'll invite both of them to the function. If one of them chooses not to show up, it's their problem. I am not the one that got a divorce. I'm sick of having 3-4 birthday parties for my son, multiple Christmas celebrations, etc...

[BCBlondie]

I also think that spending one day with one parent, and the other day with the other, is a good idea. I also liked Tonya's idea of changing every year...

But hey, at least you get to see both parents! I haven't seen my real dad since I was 6.. Just a year ago I found out that I have a stepmom! I've never met her or talked to her, and just recently did I see pictures of her. They've been married for 6 years already... I know it's not easy having divorced parents.

[Mandy1]

Thanks Everyone. I will be spending Christmas Eve with my mom and Christmas day with my dad. It was a simple decision but I was scared one of them would be hurt :(

BCblondie- Sorry to hear about your dad :( That must be really tough.

[BCBlondie]

Originally posted by Mandy1
BCblondie- Sorry to hear about your dad :( That must be really tough.
Meh... don't be sorry.. I personally don't really care. I mean, I would LOVE to have that perfect family with both parents, etc etc... buuuut that's never going to happen. Plus, I call my stepdad "Dad".. he's been the only real fatherly figure in my life.. but you're right - it definitely isn't easy...

[pitc9]

I'm so sorry you have to go through this.
My parents are still together, (41 years) but now that I'm married, it's tough splitting time during the holidays between my family and his. It's ALWAY a fight!!:mad:

[Harmanie]

please don't hate christmas just because your parents are being kinda childesh. I hope that you can have a good christmas. I would hate it if they blow it for you. Are you sure that they won't change thier minds and just spend it together to make you happy?

[Tonya]

Originally posted by BCBlondie
Meh... don't be sorry.. I personally don't really care. I mean, I would LOVE to have that perfect family with both parents, etc etc... buuuut that's never going to happen. Plus, I call my stepdad "Dad".. he's been the only real fatherly figure in my life.. but you're right - it definitely isn't easy...

That is how it is for me. When you all hear me refer to my dad, I am talking about the man who raised me. My biological father died when I was young and my "step" dad raised me since I was 3. I don't like using the word step because he's treated me like his own from the start.