Tonya
12-02-2004, 09:24 AM
I couldn't even sleep last night. I am so tired of this. From the age of 2 to about 4 my son wore me ragged. We had so much trouble at the preschools, but I refused to believe in ADHD. I thought it was just a discipline issue. Well, after some classes and some fighting, I've come to realize that ADHD is a true thing.
For two years now, we've been changing medications around. Something will work for a few months, and then it'll quit working. Once again, his medication has stopped working.
I don't tell Jaden that he has ADHD. I am afraid that if he's bad, he'll use it as an excuse. I don't know what to do anymore. He's misbehaving again. Not horribly, but not paying attention in class, not following directions, etc... At home, I have to tell him to do things over and over again and I have to walk him through the steps. He can't seem to retain any information because his mind is going so fast.
It's so frustrating because he really is such a brilliant child. He's only 7 years old and he can tell you about every war in history and every detail about it. He can tell you what weapons were used, what vehicles, who was fighting, why they were fighting, where they were fighting, etc... He can tell you the history on all the different religions of the world and all about the presidents. But it takes us 2 hours to do 15 minutes worth of homework.
The hardest part for me is that I never know how to deal with it appropriately. On one hand, when he misbehaves, there should be no excuse. I shouldn't let it slide. So I discipline him. I took his tv and computer away yesterday because he had a really bad day at school. But on the other hand, I feel guilty because I'm not sure that he can control what he did.
How in the hell am I supposed to know why he does what he does? Is it the ADHD...the meds aren't working? Or is it a bad night's sleep? Or is it not enough discipline...just flat out defiance? Or is it some bully at school upsetting him? Or is it the teacher not making herself clear? Is it the transistion from moving? Am I not giving him enough attention?
In preschool, he went to an upperclass private school. All the parents decided that their children couldn't play with him because he was in to many timeouts. I'd go to pick him up and he'd be walking around alone in the corner of the playyard.
He then went to a middle class public school last year and seemed to have alot of friends. Well, now we've moved and he's in what I think is a snobby stuck up upper classs public school. He told me this morning "It's happening again, just like preschool." I asked him what he is talking about and he said that Conner's mom said he can't play with him anymore because he pulls his blue card to much. Conner is the most popular kid, so now none of the kids are playing with him. So I asked him what he does during recess and he said he plays alone.
Now honestly, I'm not being a protective mom...my son has never gotten into trouble for saying or doing anything violent or distasteful. He does get into trouble alot, but it's for things like talking out of turn in class and not following directions. He NEVER gets in trouble on the playground except for things like occasionally going up the slide the wrong way or something petty that all kids do. He's probably only had 2 playground warnings this year. How can parents be so cruel?
I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to shelter him or be to protective. But this is breaking my heart. To top it all off, he's been sick for months. I get so angry and upset everytime I hear him cough. I am so tired of this all.
I just want my son to be healthy and well. I can't take this much longer.
*edit* On the way to school today, he said the kids can't play with him because he has "diseases". I asked him what he meant and he said all the kids run from him and laugh at him because he coughs all the time.
For two years now, we've been changing medications around. Something will work for a few months, and then it'll quit working. Once again, his medication has stopped working.
I don't tell Jaden that he has ADHD. I am afraid that if he's bad, he'll use it as an excuse. I don't know what to do anymore. He's misbehaving again. Not horribly, but not paying attention in class, not following directions, etc... At home, I have to tell him to do things over and over again and I have to walk him through the steps. He can't seem to retain any information because his mind is going so fast.
It's so frustrating because he really is such a brilliant child. He's only 7 years old and he can tell you about every war in history and every detail about it. He can tell you what weapons were used, what vehicles, who was fighting, why they were fighting, where they were fighting, etc... He can tell you the history on all the different religions of the world and all about the presidents. But it takes us 2 hours to do 15 minutes worth of homework.
The hardest part for me is that I never know how to deal with it appropriately. On one hand, when he misbehaves, there should be no excuse. I shouldn't let it slide. So I discipline him. I took his tv and computer away yesterday because he had a really bad day at school. But on the other hand, I feel guilty because I'm not sure that he can control what he did.
How in the hell am I supposed to know why he does what he does? Is it the ADHD...the meds aren't working? Or is it a bad night's sleep? Or is it not enough discipline...just flat out defiance? Or is it some bully at school upsetting him? Or is it the teacher not making herself clear? Is it the transistion from moving? Am I not giving him enough attention?
In preschool, he went to an upperclass private school. All the parents decided that their children couldn't play with him because he was in to many timeouts. I'd go to pick him up and he'd be walking around alone in the corner of the playyard.
He then went to a middle class public school last year and seemed to have alot of friends. Well, now we've moved and he's in what I think is a snobby stuck up upper classs public school. He told me this morning "It's happening again, just like preschool." I asked him what he is talking about and he said that Conner's mom said he can't play with him anymore because he pulls his blue card to much. Conner is the most popular kid, so now none of the kids are playing with him. So I asked him what he does during recess and he said he plays alone.
Now honestly, I'm not being a protective mom...my son has never gotten into trouble for saying or doing anything violent or distasteful. He does get into trouble alot, but it's for things like talking out of turn in class and not following directions. He NEVER gets in trouble on the playground except for things like occasionally going up the slide the wrong way or something petty that all kids do. He's probably only had 2 playground warnings this year. How can parents be so cruel?
I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to shelter him or be to protective. But this is breaking my heart. To top it all off, he's been sick for months. I get so angry and upset everytime I hear him cough. I am so tired of this all.
I just want my son to be healthy and well. I can't take this much longer.
*edit* On the way to school today, he said the kids can't play with him because he has "diseases". I asked him what he meant and he said all the kids run from him and laugh at him because he coughs all the time.