View Full Version : What REALLY matters in life?

11-19-2004, 12:16 AM
I've been thinking a lot about this subject lately.
I would have to say for me....it'd be family, close friends & my 2 dogs.
Matthew & I are trying to have a child & it's not going according to my plans or how I thought it would!:( (I had surgery for Endo. in Sept. & was given a 8-9 month time frame to get pregnant)
All I see are all these adorable babies, pictures, friends kids, I'm even going to be an Aunt for the 2nd time.
I should be happy BUT instead I let my jealousy get the best of me, especially since I'm not close to my sister-in-law!

11-19-2004, 12:25 AM
I understand that feeling. With my prior miscarriages, I was beginning to feel like I was never going to have a baby. To top it all off, one of my close friends and I had the same due date...I wanted the baby and miscarried, she didn't want the baby and had him. He's almost two now, and I love him to death, but it took me a while to warm up to him. I felt resentful in a way.

Try not to worry to much about it. When the timing is right and you least expect it, it'll happen.

Samantha Puppy
11-19-2004, 08:59 AM
I think what really matters in life differs from person to person. To me, it was finding the love of my life, getting married and having a family. Two down, one to go! :)

To my best friend, it was earning a PhD, joining the Navy, finding the love of her life and marrying him and having a family.

Some of my other friends have no interest in having children and instead, are focusing on their career. Sooo... I just think it depends on who you are.

Good luck with starting a family. Chin up. I know someone who tried for 10+ years to get pregnant, had IVF several times and the last time they could afford to try, it stuck. She had a daughter in March. About two months ago, she found out she was pregnant again - quite unexpectedly - and is now getting ready for baby #2 not so long after she was beginning to think there would never even be a baby #1! :)

11-19-2004, 09:45 AM
I understand that feeling too.
When I was trying to get pregnant and everbody
around me were having babies, I was so depressed.

As for your question, I guess the most important
thing to me, is how we treat others and how others
treat us. (including animals
of course.) :)

11-19-2004, 10:48 AM
To me its school, marriage, and adding on to my family. Well I'm almost done with school, getting married in August and am due May 27th so things are finally coming around.

As far as getting pregnant just relax and let it happen. Worrying too much about can actually prevent pregnancy. I'll keep saying prayers for you to have one because you sound like you would be an excellent momma.

Maya & Inka's mommy
11-19-2004, 11:28 AM
I understand that feeling so well, as we went through the same thing years ago. We wanted kids so very much, but nature didn't let us. Oh my, my jalousy towards pregnant women was immense. The worst was waiting in the waitingroom at my gynaecologist (sp??); I was sitting there in the same room with women in all stades of pregnancy. How much I wanted to kick them.... :( . Try not to focus to much on getting pregnant. Sometimes it is even good to take distance from it!
We finally decided to adopt. Our kids are now 19 and 15:)

Good luck to both of you!!

11-19-2004, 05:09 PM
Teenster I am sorry you are having problems, I always took it for granted I could have children, and I was one of the lucky ones, I really cannot imagine how you must feel, but you have my sincere empathy.
I sure hope you get the family you so want and sooner rather than later.

Of course that is the most important part of my life my family, my husband and two children, my parents , my sister and her family, and of course my two precious furbabies, nothing else really matters as much and I cannot compare it with anything else, of course having food and shelter and clothing for my family is important as well.

My marriage, my health which I am always battling with, and having happiness all come into the package.

I like material things like the next person , but my top priority is my family first.

11-19-2004, 05:29 PM
I know how you feel (sort of... since I have step-kids and do not want children of my own, I can only imagine your pain) I remember when I was single. Everywhere I looked were couples in love, couples getting married. And here I was, 27, living at home with mom & dad in a dead end job. How pathetic did I feel? VERY! But then overnight, I met a great guy who turned my life around.

My brother and his wife had the same problem as you... after 5 years of trying they finally got pregnant, and I have a fabulous nephew (with another on the way!) I always feel that things happen for a reason in their own time. I mean, I found out at 16 that I'd probably never have children of my own... so I had 15 years to get used to the idea before I met my husband. Then I met a man who "Gave" me his kids. Its not always easy being a step-mom, but I love my family and wouldn't trade any of them for the world.

As for important things in my life? I take comfort in hubby, the stepkids, and my monsters. Before I met my husband, what mattered was my family and circle of friends (Nicki too) Nothing can replace the support and love you get from family and friends.

11-20-2004, 01:34 AM
I had a long talk with my friend tonight & she thinks I should ease up on myself as well. She had even suggested for me to seek a counselor's help. I guess I have a lot of issues to face in my life, even from years ago that I haven't gotten over.:rolleyes:

11-20-2004, 02:26 AM
I know that feeling I am having a hard time looking at all the "baby" threads after my daughter losing her baby this last summer. We had a really good cry to gether yesterday in the mall. The were having a huge baby things sale and all these pregnat and new mommies were there. We looked at each other and just started bawling. We moved down the mall and had a HUGE chocolate milk shake. We both felt better after that neither of use had allowed the other to cry infront of each other It helped a lot. The elephant in the room as aknowledged and shrink down in size.