Things get much worse

[karyn674]

Hello again,

Some of you might remember me posting "Introducing a new kitten to your cat' (posted on 26 Sep.04) Where i was worried how am i going to get my residednt cat for 2 yrs accept a new kitten. So with all the information you gave me I did not give in and did not let my cat influence me with all the grouling and hissing she was making. We had this kitten nearly every day visit us since for the time being mum is taking care of her.

Not only the hissing and grouling did not ceise but now lulu is attacking her and also me and my husband. Spoke to my vet about her violance and he gave me some pills to give her which are all natural called pet-ease to help her relax.

She started acting strangely from the day Pippa came by. Lulu was never too frienly as you might recall me saying buy then, at night instead of sleeping with us near my feet, she would sneek up to my stomack area and sleep. It was very strange for me when i found her a couple of times there. She would just wait for me till I sleep. Since I felt this was cheating, then I started calling her to sleep there, she would come and I kind of liked it :D

But not only +ve things happened. she scrached my face a couple of times, hisses to me every day and does not leave me a second unattended. I actuall feel hated by her. She's super jelous and insecure, she thinks that I don't love her any more. I tried to make her feel better by giving her more attention, talking to her and singing, sort of make her feel more secure but to no avail. Then she makes something bad and I shout to her like yesterday she was hissing at me whenever i pet her or try to be sweet with her.

Yesterday my husband came from work and called her, she wouldn't come. no way , then after some time she came did not give any notice of us what so ever. He went to speak to her and told me that Lulu is no way like she used to be and that I managed to ruin her life by pusshing it far to much this introduction of Pippa. Couldn't sleep at night and I feel so guilty cos Tom is right, now I have a bottle of pills in my right hand and stressed out like hell both me and my cat. Oh God I fell helpless.

Please give me you views.

Thanks
Karen

[jenluckenbach]

I am so sorry that this is happening. Some cats are really tough when it comes to accepting another feline into the house.

If Pippa is going to stay I would start by going through the reintroducion phase. Start by confining Pippa to one room (just like you would a new cat) so Lulu has the rest of the house to herself. The go about regaining Lulu's trust. She seems like the type of cat that does not have a lot of bravery. Coming to sleep with you only AFTER you are asleep shows that she is insecure. She wants to be close but still has some fear (this is probably based somewhere in her past).

After at least 1 week, 2 weeks if you can stand the seperation, reintroduce the kitten to Lulu with small interactions. Do not allow them to be alone together for a while.

Lulu may never like the kitten, but she should be able to learn to co-exist.

And by the way, if Pippa is still young things might improve immensely after she drows to adult size. Some adult cats do not know how to deal with small kittens.

Best of luck!

[karyn674]

First of all I thank you jenluckenbach for your kind support.

This has been quite hard for me to live with these past few months, and the guily feeling is really killing me. Knowing that this situation, I brought it with my own hands makes me angry with myself, especially when Lulu reacts in such a manner towards me.

She really needs a break from all these pressures. I hope she'll manage to be the same Lulu she once was, cos I really miss her charachter. I have one question though, I still did not give her any pills what so ever to help her relax, do you think I should?

Thanks for your reply cos I was really craving for some answers.

[Tubby & Peanut's Mom]

karyn, I would go ahead and give her the pills. I don't know if you know the story of Magoo here on Pet Talk, but he was a stray with one eye gone and the other severly infected so they had to remove it. One of our PT'ers adopted him and brought him home. He was a holy terror the first couple weeks, but she finally started medicating him and he calmed down enough for her to let him out amongst her other cats without fearing for their lives. It got to the point where she doesn't need to medicate him anymore, which is good, but there is nothing wrong with medicating when necessary.

I would also separate them when possible and only give short supervised visits. Sounds like Lulu might need some time for herself in her own territory. Hopefully, after the medication really kicks in and she learns that her territory is not threatened, she will let up and leave the kitten be. With Edwina it took about a year before she relented and started leaving Eddie alone, but he still gets the occassional swat - just for being there. It will take time and a lot of patience on your and hubby's parts, but this can work out.

Is that Lulu in the picture? She's a real beauty! :)

[jenluckenbach]

I would attempt the pills. Even if they only help her to relax she might just be able to start tolerating Pippa and might be able to go off the pills later.

[karyn674]

Thanks for your kind answers.

Yes Deb Its Lulu in the picture sorry for not informing :p

You are both right! I will go ahead and start giving her the pills as from today. On the other hand I will stop Pippa's visits as you told me so to regain Lulu's confidence.

In a week's time I might try again but this time I can swop territiory. Instread of bringig Pippa to Lulu's I will take Lulu to Pippa's at my mom. In this manner I will show Lulu that not only her territory is being invaded but she can invade herself too. I don't know if it might work but I will keep you informed on the outcome.

For the time being I will do my best to get back Lulu's trust. Yesterday I slept happy though. Managed to show lulu some careness. She was sleeping on my bed and I joined her and started to pet her on her head down to her back, sort of a mini massage..........and I heard her enjoyment cos she started puuring. Oh how much i miss that sound :D

Following find pippa's photo:

[Tubby & Peanut's Mom]

OMG, Karyn, that picture of Pippa is adorable! I love the perspective so her paws look absolutley HUGE! :D

I think you've got a good plan mapped out to try this again. Good luck and let us know how it all goes....and a few more pics wouldn't hurt either. ;) :D

Oh, and I notice Lulu is a calico and Pipa is a tortie, both of which are known for their attitudes, so maybe that's what part of the problem is. ;)

[jazzcat]

I'm sorry to hear this. I wished I had some wonderful advice but I think the others are right in telling you to give her the pills.

LuLu is beautiful and Pippa is adorable. Good luck with your plan and keep us posted please.

[wolflady]

Originally posted by Tubby & Peanut's Mom
...
Oh, and I notice Lulu is a calico and Pipa is a tortie, both of which are known for their attitudes, so maybe that's what part of the problem is. ;)

LOL LOL I was thinking the same thing!

I'm so sorry to hear about your difficulty in the introductions and believe me, can I ever relate! It took me and my husband 6 months :eek: just to get to the point where our two cats could cohabitate! :eek: It was a long, stressful, loud road...but in the end...it was worth it. Neither one of us wanted to give up our cats, so we just had to let them work out their differences. Actually, my cat didn't care either way, it was really Scooter that didn't want anything to do with my Marius. Scooter would be hissing and yowling at the top of his lungs and Marius would just look at him like he was a bit mental! :p LOL
I'm just glad that Marius was accepting, because if Marius had the same personality as Scooter, I doubt they would have ever been able to learn to cohabitate. Some cats simply will not get along, and from what I've heard from people with female cats...it's usually harder for them to accept other females. Maybe this is a bit of trouble you're running into. Usually an older cat will accept a kitten, so hopefully things will calm down. Jen's advice was good, so try that along with the pills perhaps?
Good luck and keep us posted!
**hugs**
Karen

[jenluckenbach]

Oh, and I notice Lulu is a calico and Pipa is a tortie, both of which are known for their attitudes, so maybe that's what part of the problem is.
This is EXACTLY what I was thinking, but didn't want to post such a broad statement (as of course, ALL cats are different)

[karyn674]

I really thank you all for your support, though you're miles and miles away you cannot imagine how helpful and informative you all are. With all the experiance you have makes me more confident going through this. I have always had a cat when I was younger, living with my parents by never more then one.

I did not know what type of cat Pippa is! Lulu is the type we call 'tal-Madonna' which means 'of our Lady Mary'. Might seem stupid and I don't know why we Maltese call them like this. But in English I did not know. Thanks for informing. I also was not aware that the type of cat makes the charachter so to speak! Sort of are more proud maybe?

Yesterdy Lulu was behaving very well with me, she did not hiss once and was very caring. In fact I gave her loads of treats and she did enjoy it :D

I will keep on posting daily so to keep you informed, and once again I thank you for your support.

[karyn674]

Oh I was going to forget! Click on this address to view more picks of Lulu and Pippa.

Pippa does not have much photos because I only have her from last August when she was dumped behind my door in a critical state of life or death. So the first pics are quite scary but eventually with lots of love and good care she became a beauty!

http://www.pbase.com/karyn674/root


Enjoy!

Karenxxx

[leslie]

my vet advised me to get a male when all I had was a female adult calico. she never said why... also advised he be younger than her. It worked out in the sense that he learned how to avoid her swats. There was never any true love. He still prefers to sleep under the covers to this day even though she is long passed...(ouch). He decided as a kitten he'd prefer to sleep under the covers than to risk waking up and being smacked before being fully awake! Those calicos and torties! (as i left for work this am, my neighbor's tortie greeted me at the foot of the stairs cooing for pats. I looked down on the sidewalk as I patted her and praised her beauty and then realized she had herself a snake!) It was only 5 inches long and I tried to coax it under the wooden stairs but it wouldn't go- just kept doing a snake swirl. She was so proud, she was more interested in pets and praise and less intestested in her find! Anyway, I finally managed to get the tiny thing buried under some leaves. Tortie looked a bit confused but oh well...

[karyn674]

Leslie, as I might have mentioned before it wasn't a matter of choosing a male cat instead of a female one. The thing is that my cats chose me:D or to be more precise their previous owners did. To tell the plain truth, I had found another family for Pippa to live with, but after feeding her with the bottle every hour for about a month and a half and watch her improve every day I got too attached and could not give her away. Now that she is still living with mum at least i can see her on a daily basis.

I wish that Lulu accepts her because I still would like Pippa to live with us and also due to the fact that once a year me and my husband travel for a long period of time that can range from one month to two. Last April - May when we where away we both where very concerned about Lulu and spoke about her every day. Calling mum to ask about her every three to four days, depending on the possibillity to call home. When after a month we where home she just couldn't believe, she kept veiling on me for a long period of time fearing that we might leave her again. She also got very fat with lack of exercise. Mum tried to stimulate her to play but she just wasn't interested.

As you see its for her own good that I'm pushing this, cos i was feeling quite guilty at first.

[leslie]

Is there any chance that in the end, she can just live with your mum? with my calico, she never did stop hitting tuva, like I said, he learned to avoid it, but a cat such as a tortie or another calico may choose not to avoid but instead to confront, thus a never ending confrontation. I don't know for sure!!! Anybody out there know what happens with 2 calicos or torties that are not liking each other!? jen- they CAN learn to get along? With just the 2 in the house?

[karyn674]

Yeah! It has been discssed over and over again. Mum would love to keep her all for herself. In fact she postpones and postpones on the fact that I take her for let's say a whole week at my house. She is so part of her life now she does not imagine herself without her. Every morning as she wakes up it's Pippa time, she cuddles her for a whole half an hour minimum.

I'm quite concerned with Lulu, due to this fact mentioned earlier:

[QUOTE]once a year me and my husband travel for a long period of time that can range from one month to two. Last April - May when we where away we both where very concerned about Lulu and spoke about her every day. Calling mum to ask about her every three to four days, depending on the possibillity to call home. When after a month we where home she just couldn't believe, she kept veiling on me for a long period of time fearing that we might leave her again. She also got very fat with lack of exercise. Mum tried to stimulate her to play but she just wasn't interested.

As you see its for her own good that I'm pushing this, cos i was feeling quite guilty at first.

[MommaCat]

OMLORD,
Pippa is TOOOOOOOO adorable!!!! her PAWS look ENORMOUS!
She looks like she is spunky and the photo of lulu... well honey that Girl Definetly has ATTITUDE written all over her. :D

I have a 14 year old Calico.. whome som eof you know has put me thru the wringer this past year. SHadow and Pumpkin were raised together so she grew up with him an dthat was fine. Then Pumpkin crossed over the RB in April 2003. IN january we adopted CLayton, a 7year old Tuxedo. SHadow STILL has NOT accepted Clayton. Shadow is PURE CALICO.. and has the TUde to go with it. BUT she is my Princess and I adore her. Deb and everyone else here HELPED me get thru the initial introduction with Shadow and Clayton. They were right. Shadow has never accepted him.. never will. He leaves her alone.
Then THREE weeks ago we adopted TUCKER. All of our fur children have come from our SPCA where I volunteer. Clayton's nose was WAYYYYYYYYY out of joint. Deb was sucuh a great help and support. They now race thru the house together.. they wrestle and share food dishes.Clayton had his very own Rosewood dining room chair with blankets etc to keep his comfy. Tucker wanted one too and chose Clayton's chair. So I kept moving TUcker. Then it dawned on me that maybe Tucker wanted to be close to Clayton. So I got a blankie and put it on the chair next to Clayton. Worked like a champ.
Shadow has not accepted Tucker and that's ok...He and Clayton are buddies and Shadow likes to be left alone by "the Boys".

I guess the point here is NOT TO GIVE UP. Your Lulu may come around. She is upset with you because you brought in a usurper.
Be patient with her. Cats don't like change. Calicios are even more stubborn. She may come around. It may take longer for her... but she may come around.

This is The BEST PLACE to get advice.Jen and Deb and everyone here has so much experience and advice. PLEASE don't give up.

THey all helped me and I KNow will help you too.

Love, light and Blessings,
Momma Cat... Deb