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View Full Version : So - what do you DO after a dog passes?



stacwase
07-17-2004, 12:49 PM
When your dogs have passed, what have you done with all of their things?

Like - all Jake's food! It's senior food and the other dogs are on pup and adult formulas. Maybe the shelter would want it?

And his heartworm medication? His Frontline?

Actually - the neighbor dog could really use some frontline. I think I'll squeeze some on him today. That leads to another question, which I'll post in Dog Health.

And have you kept all the pictures of them up? I don't think I'll take his photos down. I cry when I see them though.

I don't want to change my Pet Talk signature either. Maybe just change the name to RB Jake.

We're keeping his collar on the fireplace. I think I'll paint his portrait and frame the collar with it.

Do you all have headstones for your dogs?

What have you done at the funeral? When we get his ashes back we do want to have some sort of ceremony for him.

I don't think I want another dog any time soon. Or maybe never. Is that normal? I just don't see the point in getting another one. He is irreplaceable, anyway.

Glacier
07-17-2004, 01:08 PM
Our shelter often gets donations from people who's pets have passed. They just mix it in with the regular food they feed.

I have Hoodoo's collar hanging from a dreamcatcher above my bed.

I made Hoodoo a memorial stone and we scattered his ashes in all his favorite places. I did keep a small portion of the ashes which I wear in a pawprint pendant. I wear it every day. I also wear a small husky in harness charm on a bracelet. My husband is a Cree Indian so he did a personalized version of a smudging ceremony.

I actually tend to put up more pictures once they pass and I can't see their physical face everyday anymore. I have an 8x10 of Hoodoo framed with a brass plate on the frame that has his name, birth and death dates on it. It's also says "forever loved". I have a smaller one that I put above the tv in a heart shaped frame.

Jake can never be replaced--even if you got 100 new dogs, they won't be Jake. I could go find another black and white, bi-eyed husky, but he won't be Hoodoo. We did adopt two of our foster dogs a couple weeks after Hoodoo died. They don't replace him, no dog ever will, but it made me feel a bit better to give them a forever home. Hoodoo had been our first rescue dog so adopted another one or two seemed like a tribute to him.

Someday your heart may heal enough that you want a new furkid--or Jake might send one your way. I've heard of that happening alot--a new furkid wanders in to your yard and eventually your heart. If you do get another dog in the future, it won't diminish your love for Jake. He knows that.

I'm sorry for your loss. Be gentle with yourself.

stacwase
07-17-2004, 01:17 PM
If the shelter will take the food, I'll bring it there then. Thanks. I thought maybe they wouldn't trust people who brought in opened bags of food.

The pendant idea is nice. I think I'll look for one.

Hoodoo was certainly beautiful. I don't remember hearing about it when he passed away - but I was away from Pet Talk for a long time. How old was he?

micki76
07-17-2004, 01:22 PM
I've got my RB dogs ashes in the urns that they were sent back to me in. My will states that I am to be buried with them all in my casket. I preferred to be cremated and have our ashes mingled together and scattered, but my husband really wants me to be buried next to him, so I will be.

I have a box for each RB dog and eventually I feel comfortable enough to use some of those things.

You will know if and when the time is right for another dog. You'll know it in your heart.

I personally haven't had any ceremonies, but I don't like them for people either. To me death of a loved one is too personal, and I feel the need to grieve on my own. I know everyone is different, this is just how I feel, and yes, it's odd.

dukedogsmom
07-17-2004, 01:24 PM
Luckily, I haven't lost a dog I was close to since I was a kid. I dread losing Duke so much that I cry just to think about it. I'm going to have an urn made for Duke here: http://adirondackpeturns.com/ They hand paint your favorite portrait on a wooden urn. I have also heard that you can get a bit of the ashes put in a glass charm. I'm also going to try to find one of those for my charm bracelet. I'm going to use his colar and make a shadowbox with it and some bandanas, etc. Wow, this is so hard to talk about! I'm at work and getting leaky eyes. I guess I can't imagine your loss. As for the food, I'm sure the Humane Society would appreciate a donation.

anna_66
07-17-2004, 01:27 PM
When Keisha passed, it was so suddenly that we didn't even think of having her cremated. We ended up burying her in our flowers (she loved to lay in that spot).
In with her we put her favorite rug, the sheet she slept on in the bedroom, some treats (she just loved goodies!), her collar & lead and then I wrote a little note to her letting her know just how much we loved her and that she will always be in our hearts. I also got a marker for her.

Geesh, this brings back so many sad memories of that day I just want to cry:(

I'm like Glacier, I put up quite a few more pictures of her because I'll never get to see her beautiful face again.

I in no shape or fashion wanted another dog after she passed. But then about a month later Roxey came into our lives. We wanted another chow, but she just seemed like "the one" then because Angus really needed a companion. He was so upset we didn't want to loose him too.

But look a year later sweet little Huney Bun appeared in our lives and we have another chow (just like we wanted!).

Sorry to have gone on so much:o This is just a topic that is very close to my heart still.

Glacier
07-17-2004, 02:09 PM
Originally posted by stacwase
If the shelter will take the food, I'll bring it there then. Thanks. I thought maybe they wouldn't trust people who brought in opened bags of food.

The pendant idea is nice. I think I'll look for one.

Hoodoo was certainly beautiful. I don't remember hearing about it when he passed away - but I was away from Pet Talk for a long time. How old was he?


You can find some pendants on ebay. I got mine from www.bestfriendservices.com. This is what it looks like:
http://bestfriendservices.com/miva/graphics/00000001/260P.jpg
It looks blue in the picture, but it's actually black with silver paws.

Hoodoo died on February 29, 2004--trust a husky to pick a leap year day! He was only four and a half. We scattered his ashes on June 19 which would have been his fifth birthday. He died very suddenly, went from healthy to dead in an hour. He had a massive brain aneurism or stroke. My vet suspects he had a brain tumor that showed no symptoms until it burst. It was one of the worst days of my life. Although the initial overwhelming pain is gone, I still shed a few tears for him almost every day.

swimma253
07-17-2004, 02:28 PM
i have never experienced the passing of my own dog, but when my grandmothers scottish terrier passed away, she brought his picture to a person who engraves pictures into gold and she made it into a necklace it was truely beautiful and looked just like him.. she wears it 24/7

stacwase
07-17-2004, 08:14 PM
Thanks for all of your responses! And all the links!

I believe I will get a charm bracelet and put his ashes in a charm on it. That's a nice idea.

I didn't realize that he would come to me already in an urn. Unfortunately, people just come in a cardboard box so that's what I thought they would do with dogs, too.

delidog
07-18-2004, 09:50 PM
Dear Stacwase,
First let me apologize as I have just seen the Memorial on Jake...I want to offer my Deepest Condolences....I have heard and seen Sweet Jake on Pet Talk for a Long Time..
Godspeed to The Rainbow Bridge,Sweet Jake....
We Love You ....Here on Pet Talk...

Now what should You do???
There are No Rules.....Time is what it takes....
The way I look at it,Each & Every Pet that we outlive Carves a Special Place in Our Heart...One Special Place for each...They Will Never be Forgotten,Replaced,Loved More.....I just look at it as....I will Save Another Life....and give them shelter,warmth & Most Important LOVE!!!! and My Previous Pet will want that..
My Dearest Scrubber was 19 when he died....that will be 10 years ago on 09/06/04.....Do I think of him Every Day??? YES....
Do I have his ashes on my Nightstand???? Yes!!!
Was He My Baby??? Yes....It broke my heart in 2 when He died..

but Last Year...I found Hobo...who by the way....Looks Exactly like My Scrubby....He needed a HOME...I could Give that to him.Thats' when I realized...That is what Scrubber would want...
and Hobo has had a Wonderful Home ever since!!!!!

Please ,If You Need Anything...feel free to PM Me....I really do Understand....
Dear Jake
R.I.P.

micki76
07-18-2004, 10:04 PM
Originally posted by stacwase
I didn't realize that he would come to me already in an urn. Unfortunately, people just come in a cardboard box so that's what I thought they would do with dogs, too.

Stacey - I don't know for sure that they'll return Jake to you in an urn. My RB pets have been returned to me that way, but it may not be that way everywhere.

I hope this doesn't upset anyone, mostly you, but I thought I'd post a pic of two of my pets in their urns.

Stolly (westie) on the left and Aneko (shih tzu) on the right.

http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid129/p7054366bb74c3d88bca00f724f3e2b5f/f7cf5d20.jpg

stacwase
07-18-2004, 10:23 PM
Delidog, thank you so much for all of your kind words! They mean so very much to me.

Micki - thanks for posting the pictures. I do like Stolly's urn. It's very simple and appropriate. Hopefully Jake will be returned in an urn as well.

ParNone
07-19-2004, 11:36 AM
I currently have Maddie's ashes in an urn, sitting on the mantle over the fireplace, but I was planning to sprinkle them over the bluebonnets last spring. Too soon for me though. I'll probably try again this coming spring. That would be the cermony I'd have for her. Not sure if I'd say anything, maybe just sing her lil' song for her.

I put reminders of Maddie for me everywhere, around the house, at work, on my computer, etc. My screen saver on my laptop is pictures of Maddie, with her song, "Moon River" playing. I've got a watch with a picture of her in the bluebonnets on it. On the back, it says "Gift from God". I've got a Black Cairn Terrier statue, that I put her collar on. I kept all her pictures out, so whether at home or work, I can look up and see her.

I thought I wanted another dog right away. It was about 6 mos before I got Gully though. The first week I had him was awfully rough. I cried everyday over Maddie. I still think about her everyday, but I don't think about her in relation to Gully anymore.

I still talk to her everyday too. In times of stress, she was always my lil' stress reliever. I didn't realize how much until after she was gone. Knowing Maddie, I figure it took her all of about 2 secs to have God wrapped around her lil' paw. So when I have stress in my life, I talk to her and ask her to put in a good word to God for me, to fix whatever my issue is at the moment. It works everytime. I've friend who says I need to stop asking Maddie for the lil' things and see what she can do towards helping me win the lottery. ;)

Par...

sabies
07-20-2004, 02:56 AM
Stacey take your time, there are no procedures for getting over this loss. I appreciate the links for the urns and keepsakes. I wouldn't mind a grave and headstone for my Sadie but I move too often and I will always need her with me. Delidog how wonderful that Scrubber lived to 19 - I hope Sadie does too.

stacwase
07-20-2004, 10:39 AM
Originally posted by ParNone



I didn't realize how much until after she was gone.

ditto!!!

Albea
07-20-2004, 01:50 PM
Stacey, I only now read your post. I'm so sorry Jake is gone to the Bridge, but he'll never be gone from your heart. Our pups have a way of leaving indelible pawprints in our lives.
When my first Golden, Natasha, died, I planted a yellow flowering shrub (kerria japonica) in my backyard in her memory.
I have the ashes of my second one, Irina, in a marble urn inside a big planter which I always fill with flowers in the spring.
Although no pup will replace Jake, when you're ready for a new friend you'll know it and the cycle of love will start all over again.

Tonya
07-21-2004, 12:39 AM
I was so distraught when I put Rosco to sleep that I told the vet to keep his collar and everything. So, I don't anything left that reminds me of Rosco. Actually, I do have something. ....A huge hole in my shed wall and my house. He got stuck in between the shed and we tried to use a jack to get him out. We wound up having to cut a hole in the wall.

We have all of my childhood dog's collars though.

stacwase
07-21-2004, 08:40 AM
Originally posted by Tonya
I was so distraught when I put Rosco to sleep that I told the vet to keep his collar and everything. So, I don't anything left that reminds me of Rosco. Actually, I do have something. ....A huge hole in my shed wall and my house. He got stuck in between the shed and we tried to use a jack to get him out. We wound up having to cut a hole in the wall.

We have all of my childhood dog's collars though.

I remember when he got stuck! LOL.

Samantha Puppy
07-21-2004, 11:09 AM
Everything you're feeling right now is completely normal - crying at pictures, stating that you don't want another dog ever, etc. You will never stop missing Jake, but the pain will dull over time - I promise you that. Don't take the pictures down - keep them up and add more! They will help keep Jake in your heart and mind, and eventually you will smile at the memories you have of those pictures and not cry.

If you should ever feel that you'd like another dog, do it! No, no one can ever replace Jake but there are lots of other great dogs out there in need of a good home. They're not your Jake but they will grow into their own personalities with you and you will love them for who they are, just as you did with Jake.

As for his food - shelters would love to have you donate that. They need so much help, they're grateful for any little bit anyone can give them.

I don't want to think of the day that I'll lose Samantha. I was in hysterics over having to give Lila back after only having her for four days, so I can't imagine how I'll feel in 15 (or more, I hope) years when it's Sam's time to go. However, I want to get a personalized marker/stone for the garden in her honor and then I plan on having her cremated and kept in an urn until *I* go - and then I want her urn placed in my casket with me.

K9soul
07-21-2004, 10:14 PM
This is what I have set up for my boys, in the doggie room where Tommy and Tasha sleep. I like to think my boys are looking over them while they rest.

http://img47.photobucket.com/albums/v145/k9soul/Tasha%20and%20Tommy/Misc/memorial.jpg

Those are urns with their ashes sealed up in them. I think I left Willie's collar on him at the vet's after he passed... I was too distraut to think to get it, but I had his leash, so I put Cody's collar on one side and Willie's leash on the other, and the candles I will light sometimes on both sides. I also made memorial webpages for them as well.

You never stop missing them, but the pain does ease. Sometimes it may hit you from time to time. I know I used to often dream of my boys and wake up distressed. My mother-in-law wanted all traces of her sheltie, Devon, erased after he passed because she just couldn't handle it, but for me I feel like I want reminders and memorials for me to see, almost as if it's a way to be as close as I can to them until we meet at the Bridge.

cyber-sibes
07-22-2004, 05:02 PM
So sorry to read about your loss - it eventually gets better, but not for a while.
When Rosie was killed in February by a truck, my husband had her cremated and she came back in an urn with a 1/2 charm heart for me to put on a chain and the other half mixed with her ashes. (our vet hosp. took care of the arrangements). We had a ceremony and buried some of her ashes along with some biscuits beneath a little blue spruce tree we planted in her memory. It helped, but I miss her so. After a few months, we found the right dog to add to our family, not to replace her, but because huskies love company and Star was so sad after losing Rosie. It's been a month with Sherman here, and it has really helped our hearts heal.
When you meet the right dog, you'll know it. They all bring such blessings!

stacwase
07-22-2004, 07:17 PM
Thanks for the words of encouragement, everybody!

Those urns really are beautiful. I wonder when Jake's ashes will arrive.

LorraineO
07-31-2004, 07:42 PM
I think you do whatever feels right for you at the time...

when my pets die,, I keep thier collars of course,,forever... I kept bedding and all the toys in a box until I was ready to let them go. when I did,, I gave them to the local shelter...

Canis Amicus
08-01-2004, 02:40 PM
Please do not remove Jake from your signature, he is so beautiful on this photo. I fell in love with him.

I still remember when you posted in Health about the change in his behavior (suddenly he became more affectionate), I responded that Rex acts like that just before he gets ill. Maybe that time Jake began to sense he was about de depart from his family. Excuse me, this is not a topic for this thread, but just came in my mind.

I can only imagine the void he left in your home.


Rosana
and
Rex

stacwase
08-03-2004, 11:20 AM
You know, Canis - I do remember you saying that! You were right! Hmmmmm - Toby's acting very affectionate lately. I wonder if I should take him to the vet? I can see it now - me going to the vet because my cat was being unusually affectionate.

Maybe Jake was just saying his goodbyes.

cyber-sibes
08-03-2004, 10:18 PM
Our dog became a great deal more affectionate and more tolerant of hugs & kisses after her companion died. It seemed like her whole personality changed. She adopted many little quirks that her companion had, such as sitting with her chin on the back of the car seat looking out the back, squishing herself against the kennel fence to be scratched, leaning on us, and rolling over to get her belly rubbed (which she NEVER did before). Its been six months now and Star still emulates Rosie. Anyone else experience big changes in their pets when one died?